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Last post 7 years ago by tamapatom. 30 replies replies.
THE FUNNIEST CIGAR REVIEW I EVER READ.
QMPASH Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
Rocky Patel R4

I decide to smoke a RP R4 in the parking garage near where I work. Pulling the cigar from its cellophane jail, I swear I have seen this cigar before. Finally, it comes to me…it is just the same as the Cuban Cohibas I bought from the guy walking the beach in Cancun last summer. A squeeze reveals a spongy construction, much like a contraceptive sponge prior to insertion. The pre-light draw is a taste to remember…it’s what I imagine sucking powdered goat dung through a straw made of petrified moose sh*t might taste like. I contemplate quitting but decide that if I can have a root canal with no anesthesia, I can smoke this cigar.
As I toast the end of the stick, the way the Killing Fields of Cambodia must have smelled is the only thing that comes to my mind. All the pain and torture that must have been endured there seems only slightly worse than the experience I am suffering. The first draw fills my mouth with smoke that would be better suited for a fire at a tire factory, but I press on, knowing that I must find some answers. My head begins to pound like a headboard in a Ginger Lynn movie, but I puff again, trying to keep the smoke in and the bile down. The cigar is burning sideways and fast, and finally I can take no more. I see a homeless man walking by in his filthy clothes, and I ask him to spit in my mouth to take away the taste of the R4. He obliges and the stale taste of bad wine and cheap cigarettes is a welcome change. I offer him the remainder of the cigar as a reward for his kind gesture, and he slugs me square in the mouth. The mixture of my own blood and the Mogden David remain with me."

(I just thought that some of you guys who might not have read this already, might enjoy it.)
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
QMPASH wrote:
Rocky Patel R4

I decide to smoke a RP R4 in the parking garage near where I work. Pulling the cigar from its cellophane jail, I swear I have seen this cigar before. Finally, it comes to me…it is just the same as the Cuban Cohibas I bought from the guy walking the beach in Cancun last summer. A squeeze reveals a spongy construction, much like a contraceptive sponge prior to insertion. The pre-light draw is a taste to remember…it’s what I imagine sucking powdered goat dung through a straw made of petrified moose sh*t might taste like. I contemplate quitting but decide that if I can have a root canal with no anesthesia, I can smoke this cigar.
As I toast the end of the stick, the way the Killing Fields of Cambodia must have smelled is the only thing that comes to my mind. All the pain and torture that must have been endured there seems only slightly worse than the experience I am suffering. The first draw fills my mouth with smoke that would be better suited for a fire at a tire factory, but I press on, knowing that I must find some answers. My head begins to pound like a headboard in a Ginger Lynn movie, but I puff again, trying to keep the smoke in and the bile down. The cigar is burning sideways and fast, and finally I can take no more. I see a homeless man walking by in his filthy clothes, and I ask him to spit in my mouth to take away the taste of the R4. He obliges and the stale taste of bad wine and cheap cigarettes is a welcome change. I offer him the remainder of the cigar as a reward for his kind gesture, and he slugs me square in the mouth. The mixture of my own blood and the Mogden David remain with me."

(I just thought that some of you guys who might not have read this already, might enjoy it.)



While I understand you aren't claiming to be the author of the review, aside from changing the name of the cigar in the review to R4, the above review was plagiarized word for word from something a good friend of mine wrote on CS back in early 2005 about the Tamborill.

As for the R4... meh. Split a bundle of them with bsevern back when they first came out around '07, for the $1.25-ish per cigar that we paid they were ok, but not something either of us ever bought or smoked again.
TheSmokensip Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 03-02-2013
Posts: 1,329
Cellophane jail. Epic.
Buddha Daddy Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 01-25-2003
Posts: 2,999
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
While I understand you aren't claiming to be the author of the review, aside from changing the name of the cigar in the review to R4, the above review was plagiarized word for word from something a good friend of mine wrote on CS back in early 2005 about the Tamborill.

As for the R4... meh. Split a bundle of them with bsevern back when they first came out around '07, for the $1.25-ish per cigar that we paid they were ok, but not something either of us ever bought or smoked again.



You don't have any friends! Shame on you
gryphonms Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 04-14-2013
Posts: 1,983
Very funny.
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
Buddha Daddy wrote:
You don't have any friends! Shame on you


et tu douge?

Crying




LOL
russman Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 01-04-2015
Posts: 13
Boo hoo!

beautiful!!!
RJH Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 06-14-2011
Posts: 2
The reviewer might have been embellishing a little.

The R4 isn't that good.
kombat96 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 04-12-2010
Posts: 9,717
Lmfao noop plagiarism
QMPASH Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
While I understand you aren't claiming to be the author of the review, aside from changing the name of the cigar in the review to R4, the above review was plagiarized word for word from something a good friend of mine wrote on CS back in early 2005 about the Tamborill.

As for the R4... meh. Split a bundle of them with bsevern back when they first came out around '07, for the $1.25-ish per cigar that we paid they were ok, but not something either of us ever bought or smoked again.


A small point perhaps but, since you reprinted my original post and didn't name the actual author, who you claim is a "friend", doesn't that make you as guilty as you imply I was of reprinting plagiarized text? And, Rocky Patel R-4 doesn't even reach the level of "okay." They are on the same level as "Raji's Untimely Demise," "Duque" and "Free Cuba." A certified Dog Rocket! horse
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
QMPASH wrote:
A small point perhaps but, since you reprinted my original post and didn't name the actual author, who you clam is a "friend", doesn't that make you as guilty as you imply I was of reprinting plagiarized text? And, Rocky Patel R-4 doesn't even reach the level of "okay." They are on the same level as "Raji's Untimely Demise," "Duque" and "Free Cuba." A certified Dog Rocket! horse



I never said you did anything wrong. But now I wonder, is your defensive comment here an admission to being the plagiarizer? Think

PS: He goes by icehog3.
I'm Batman Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 01-08-2015
Posts: 394
Hahaha I totally agree with this review. Those R4's are terrible.
Whistlebritches Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,127
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
I never said you did anything wrong. But now I wonder, is your defensive comment here an admission to being the plagiarizer? Think

PS: He goes by icehog3.


In no way shape or form is this plagiarism..........He **** titled the thread " The Funniest Cigar Review I Ever READ" not The Funniest Cigar Review I Ever WROTE.Get y'all's panties out of a bunch.

BTW I wholeheartedly agree whether the review is of the R4 or the Tamboril.Both of them are dog rockets as far as I'm concerned.


Ron
Hillbillyjosh770 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 02-09-2014
Posts: 2,999
Cheap wine and cigs!

I'm sure that was the after party.
QMPASH Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
I never said you did anything wrong. But now I wonder, is your defensive comment here an admission to being the plagiarizer? Think

PS: He goes by icehog3.

Please READ my last post. I said you "IMPLIED" I plagiarized from your unknown friend. horse
tailgater Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Flattery.
Get a room.
icehog3 Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 07-15-2005
Posts: 2
Thank you for helping my review live on in infamy. Beer
cameroon Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 04-06-2014
Posts: 810
icehog3 wrote:
Thank you for helping my review live on in infamy. Beer


Epic 2nd post after 11 year hiatus
victor809 Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
icehog3 wrote:
Thank you for helping my review live on in infamy. Beer


Hang on... you don't belong in this place.
ZRX1200 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,477
What's worse?

Smoking a tamborill

Or.....

Thundergerbil saying he's your friend?
victor809 Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
QMPASH wrote:
Please READ my last post. I said you "IMPLIED" I plagiarized from your unknown friend. horse


Dude... I don't think he implied that at all.

He even said "While I understand you aren't claiming to be the author of the review..."

I think that's the opposite of implying you're the author.
delta1 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
kombat96 wrote:
Lmfao noop plagiarism



Somebody thought/or was persuaded he was plagiarizing...



...still a funny cigar review...=d>
tonygraz Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
Bomb Q with R-4's and maybe some Cargo's too.
QMPASH Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
tonygraz wrote:
Bomb Q with R-4's and maybe some Cargo's too.



Tony; you still love me. Sarcasm
QMPASH Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
You must be a slow reader Tony. This post is really old.
tonygraz Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
So are we Q, but some noob resurrected it and seems to claim to be the author.
QMPASH Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
tonygraz wrote:
So are we Q, but some noob resurrected it and seems to claim to be the author.

I'm not sure but I think he was speaking in jest.
gorob23 Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 05-11-2003
Posts: 2,323
icehog3 wrote:
Thank you for helping my review live on in infamy. Beer



Oh trust me you shall live on but not because of a review.... I'm telling you ONE good one .. I think

Rob Pray

Ok play nice boysram27bat
fishinguitarman Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2006
Posts: 69,148
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
While I understand you aren't claiming to be the author of the review, aside from changing the name of the cigar in the review to R4, the above review was plagiarized word for word from something a good friend of mine wrote on CS back in early 2005 about the Tamborill.

As for the R4... meh. Split a bundle of them with bsevern back when they first came out around '07, for the $1.25-ish per cigar that we paid they were ok, but not something either of us ever bought or smoked again.






RUH ROH!!!
tamapatom Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 03-19-2015
Posts: 7,381
Ah...the treacherous ground between quotation and inspiration.
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