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Last post 23 years ago by rem_KM. 21 replies replies.
You might be a Republican if:
unklebill Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 12-29-1999
Posts: 729
You MIGHT be a Republican if...

1. You believe that the nation's current 8-year prosperity was due entirely to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush, but that yesterday's gas prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3. You’re against government programs, but expect your Social Security checks on time.
4. You believe that pollution is OK, so long as it makes a profit.
5. You believe in prayer in schools, as long as people don't pray to St. Mary, Allah, Krishna, or Buddha.
6. You believe that only your own teenagers are still virgins.
7. You believe that women cannot be trusted with decisions about their own bodies, but that large multinational corporations should have no regulation or interference whatsoever.
8. You know you love Jesus and that Jesus loves you and that Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President Clinton.
9. You believe that it was wise to allow Ken Starr to spend $50 million dollars to attack Clinton because no other U.S. presidents have ever been unfaithful to their wives.
10. You believe that a waiting period for purchasing a handgun is bad because quick access to a new firearm is an important concern for all Americans.
11. You believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
12. You believe that the American Civil Liberties Union is bad because they defend the Constitution, while the National Rifle Association is good because they defend the Constitution.
13. You believe that socialism hasn't worked anywhere, and that Europe doesn't exist.
14. You believe the AIDS virus is not important enough to deserve federal funding proportionate to the resulting death rate and that the public doesn't need to be educated about it, because if we just ignore it, it will go away.
15. You believe that biology teachers are corrupting the morals of 6th graders if they teach them the basics of human sexuality, but the Bible, which is full of sex and violence, is good reading.
16. You believe that even though governments have supported the arts for 5,000 years and that most of the great works of Renaissance art were paid for by governments, our government should shun any such support. After all, the rich can afford to buy their own and the poor don't need any.
17. You believe that we should forgive and pray for Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, Bob Livingston, and numerous other Republican politicians both past and present for their marital infidelities, and other indiscretions, but that **** Clinton should be impeached.
18. You believe that the Federal Government should always respect the sovereign rights of the States to determine and define their own laws, except when you need to elect a Republican as El Presidente.
19. Marc Rich, pardoned by that **** Clinton was evil and indicted because his corporation did business with that other evil **** Saddam Hussein. ****** Cheney’s company Halliburton did the same thing, but they’re OK.
20. Presidential pardons should be severely limited, unless you are a REPUBLICAN president and you are pardoning your defense secretary to prevent a publicly embarrassing trial that would implicate YOU.
jjohnson28 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 09-12-2000
Posts: 7,914
I believe Unkle Bill forgot to take his medication again :0).
gdurfor Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2001
Posts: 288
Earth to Bill? Earth to Bill?
You might be a Republican if: You have a Brain to
think for yourself.
unklebill Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 12-29-1999
Posts: 729
......and you use that brain to think that corporations, and the wealthy are the only ones who deserve protection from the government.
Charlie Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
"Unclebill" you need to stick to smoking cigars!
jjohnson28 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 09-12-2000
Posts: 7,914
Quote:"I voted Republican this year. The Democrats left a bad
taste in my mouth."
-- Monica Lewinsky
bigstookie Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 01-22-2000
Posts: 31
Unklebill you obviously have waaay to much time on your hands. You could have smoked 2 churchills in the same amount of time it took you to write that dissertation.
BrentM01 Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 05-30-2000
Posts: 343
Bill, you are my HERO.....lol.....Brent
thumper Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 01-23-2001
Posts: 25
You disagree with unklebill!!
tailgater Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Key word: "Might". Actually, some points are VERY funny. Bravo! Not a lick of truth, but Bravo!
rem_KM Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2000
Posts: 101
Ex-President George Bush pardened a Pakistani caught with $1,000,000 worth of HEROIN. Don't get me wrong, I am not in support of this Marc Rich pardon either or any of the othe other questionable pardens.
I also believe the October surprise of the 1980 Presidential election where in a deal was made with the Iranians to hold the American hostages until Reagan was in office. The Iranians released the hostages the very hour that Reagan was sworn in and some people were persuaded it was because that Iran was so scared of Reagan. Right. I don't trust any of them. I am persuaded that only one perfect life was ever lived and the rest are flawed in varying degrees. I am also very dubious about any group be it political or religious that is so adamant about being the only ones that are %100 right. As a matter of fact, I'm not very fond of individuals that are that way too. Sexual intellectuals. F--king know-it-alls. IMHO.
rem_KM Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2000
Posts: 101
Oh yeah, amen unklebill. If you live in Ga. and ever get down to the Island, I'd enjoy smoking a good cigar with you. You'd be welcome at my house. We just could not discuss politics arond my wife. Rush has brainwashed her I'm afraid. She is still the best woman I ever met.
unklebill Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 12-29-1999
Posts: 729
KM, What part of Georgia?
abennett23 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 02-15-2001
Posts: 126
And which Island, I have relatives on St. Simons
rem_KM Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2000
Posts: 101
St. Simons.
rem_KM Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2000
Posts: 101
I have to be covert. SSI is republican central and I work and live here. Don't get me wrong, some of my best friends are republicans including my wife.
Charlie Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
YOU should be a Republican if you live on St Simons Island!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jjohnson28 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 09-12-2000
Posts: 7,914
KM can you hear the black helicopters at night :0).
rem_KM Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2000
Posts: 101
Char5353, how's that?
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
km: your assessment of people that think they are 100% right all the time is correct. but!!!. i talked at great length once with a young disciple (18) of the amy mcpherson temple in la and she gave me good insight. what she said was "if i am to believe in this "four square" religion, i must not allow myself to accept any other religion as having validity. if another religion could, or might be the way, than i am not a true believer. i must close my mind to any other way." she is right. that is the problem with the religious right in dealing with non-believers. you and i can understand there are different approaches to religion, but they cannot. add to that, their religion demands that they proselytize. we, on one hand feel sorry for their closed mind set, but on the other hand, they interfere with our lives as we want to live them. religion, since it's beginning has always been the biggest source of arguments, fights, and war.
Charlie Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
I was only joking KM, I used to live on St Simons Island when I was in the Navy..........beautiful place!
I would love to live there again!
rem_KM Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2000
Posts: 101
You're right Char5353. You must have been stationed at Glynco NAS.
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