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Last post 6 years ago by jackconrad. 68 replies replies.
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Lick-O-Meter
big chief Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
The miracle of Modern Science (Chief learn this stuff in Indian School) now allows all posters to learn gayness amount and sensitive-spot lick amount from possible post response PRIOR to make post!
Science is great! Almost as good as firewater!
Chief includes some sample examples below. Sadly, Chief's science reveals almost any response has potential for 'Sensitive-spot licking' plus heap gay possibilities.
You decide.

A) Pic of dead animal--does not stir meter.
1) Response prasing O.P. endeavor--you gay, you lick moist spot on O.P.;
2) Response critical of O.P.--you gay too, should join PETA then find moist spot and lick.

B) Pic of dog--does not stir meter.
1) Response praising dog--you gay, lick sensitive spot on O.P. genital area;
2) Response critical of dog--heap gay, don't like dogs, then lick too.

C) Pic of self--does not stir meter.
1) Response praising pic--you gay, lick O.P. in erogenous area;
2) Response critical of pic--heap gay! You playing hard-to-get!

D) Pic of weapon--does not stir meter.
1) Response praising pic--you gay, licking O.P.'s Fun Zone.
2) Response critical of pic--heap gay, don't like weapons, still lick tingle spot on O.P.

E) Pic of free cigars--does not stir meter (O.P. smart! Likes free cigars!)
1) Response praising pic--You gay, lick O.P., but heap smart, like free cigars too!
2) Response critical of pic--Not like free cigars, that just dumb. Heap gay too for hanging out on Big Lick Forum, so you lick by association. Stupid and lick, too.

Once again, Indian Science proves that it not matter what you do--you LICK!
Only exceptions seem to be:
A1) Pic of self in exotic/foreign land with bikini-clad squaw--
A2) Pic of overflowing humidore--
A3) Pic of firewater--
These only stir Envy Meter which is still experimental...
2074302.jpg
big chief Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
SOMEBODY tried to hide this!
Propadope61 Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2008
Posts: 10,952
???????
??????
/??????
kpacedo Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 03-07-2007
Posts: 3,555
someones got too much time on their hands
engletl Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
Ummm Chief what does

"Return to the forum without posting"

elicit?
big chief Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
^a big lick!

We are all DOOMED! There is NO response that does not lick--even this one. Science proved it via computer model!
bloody spaniard Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 03-14-2003
Posts: 43,802
This Lick-O-Meter must have seemed like a good idea when you broke out the colored markers and firewater several days ago...



poor Big Chief heap ****
t33bone Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 10-25-2007
Posts: 27,374
Looks like I am in the safe zone w/Goat at #3. LOL
notvictor823 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 02-27-2009
Posts: 58
Big chief must have heap of time on hands for such an in depth study of scrotum licking...

Tell me chief... how many men did you have to give beads to in exchange for scrotum licking privileges? Must have gotten lots of funding from NIH....:)
nir6van6a Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 02-10-2008
Posts: 4,347
This is pretty funny
big chief Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
No response is safe! All lick!
chiefburg Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
Wow - this sucks. According to Big Chief, I am "heap gay" and didn't even know.

Using more science, mixed with logic, I've concluded I must be a lesbian (yes, a lesbian is "heap gay" as well). The facts: I am male and I really like women - a lot - heap lot, in fact. If I'm a gay male and I like women, the only possible conclusion is that I'm a lesbian. . .

..... I think. . ...

(Note to self - do not post when drinking. . .)
JadeRose Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
I don't have a licking clue what this means but it is very funny.....LOL at Bloody!!!!
jackconrad Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
HA AH !!!
bsevern Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 07-24-2006
Posts: 8,062
Funniest damn thing I've seen in a while.

According to big chief Lick-O-Meter, half the people here are queer as a three dollar bill....not that there's anything wrong with that if it's your cup o' tea.
big chief Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
^ Bingo!
although, some of the posts in the 'red zone' could be used safely if the opposite were used--for example, a poster could say 'I LOVE Trish/Jessica', that would be O.K. and safe from lick-liklihood. Also, a post response (at post #9) of enin would work, too.
Otherwise, we all lick, either in our posts, or because we hang out in lick forum.
I don't know about 'wow' and 'lol' because they are the same either way...
rharrcigar Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 12-21-2008
Posts: 642
Why isn't ball-licker on this scale? It just nuts I tell ya.
Stonewall2007 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 12-13-2008
Posts: 48
I am surprised there is not a Stonewall zone on there.
Josh
andytv Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
big chief bring heap mischief..........heap confusion.

reminds me of buffalo licking his own balls!!!!!!
burgess_b Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 10-07-2005
Posts: 23,212
^hmmmmm.
big chief Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
#17, rarrcigar,
'ball-licker' and '****' were unpopular on original Lick dial. Though I did sneak '****-lick' in...
JadeRose Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
This still cracks me up. Chief rocks heap big!!
tj2001cobra Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 08-05-2008
Posts: 28,561
I'm just going to say "LMAO" so I stay low and dont register high on the meter!
rharrcigar Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 12-21-2008
Posts: 642
#21 - LMAO Big Chief. You mean there was a prototype lick-o-meter? Wow, you've put a lot of R & D into this project. Great job. Your attention to detail and perserverance are admirable. Keep up the good work.

I do not love Stevie
rharrcigar Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 12-21-2008
Posts: 642
^ or Stever
big chief Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Careful TJ! If you reverse it, and post 'OAML' as a response, then you end up in the Red Zone!
Charlie Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Ken

How the heck did you get this one by the censors....LOL

Charlie
Bluedevil Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2006
Posts: 7,383
big chief, you are loco! But this is funny!
educatedbusboy Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2007
Posts: 2,115
ahhhh...
poor chief !!!
heres another post 4 ya !!
500 here you go !!
EBB
big chief Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Prototype Lick-Meter had much bad language--Chief forced to go back to drawing board or experience Wrath of KahnR...(notice this proposal of face dial still taped to board)
Mandoman Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 12-27-2005
Posts: 4,761
(notice this proposal of face dial still taped to board)
__________________________________________________________

So, how many licks did it take to make sure it stuck to the board? I know you said "taped", but . . . . .
seaborn Offline
#32 Posted:
Joined: 09-17-2006
Posts: 2,958
Big Chief's meter is questionably registering a "0".
I'm sure if we got a look at said meter after an animal teeth bomb hit, that sucker would be sitting at "11"!!!
ScottHar Offline
#33 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
I can't believe this slipped through the crack--

Uh-oh.

(Probably shouldn't have written that...)

ScottHar
jetblasted Offline
#34 Posted:
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
HOW can you NOT Love Jessica . . . ?
knokmdwn Offline
#35 Posted:
Joined: 04-13-2008
Posts: 8,849
Author: ScottHar Date: 04/27/2009 07:40 PM

I can’t believe this slipped through the crack--

____________________________________

Ok mister closet lurker, that is #11.





LMAO!
big chief Offline
#36 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
I'd forgotten about this one!

You cannot avoid licking, no matter what you do!
chiefburg Offline
#37 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
This is classic Big Chief. Keith had to submit several protypes to SteveR before he was allowed to post this. Most folks didn't get it or see the humor. I cracked up when I saw it.

What's really funny is the amount of time spent drawing, submitting, getting rejected, redrawing, resubmitting, getting re-rejected, and back to the drawing board until Steve was satisfied. That is commitment to a visual joke!!! Of course, there is a lot more history behind this which led up to him posting this in the first place (involved tons of "gay" postings).

Big Chief: I know you are looking down from the big teepee in the sky and wondering who will spin the Lick-O-Meter and where it will land!

RIP Keith!



(Thanks to Spencer and Trish for finding this for me!)
dstieger Offline
#38 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
Classic. Glad it was topped. Thanks. Tried searching for Big Chief's Hierarchy of Needs whiteboards, but the Search function licks big time.
chiefburg Offline
#39 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
dstieger wrote:
Classic. Glad it was topped. Thanks. Tried searching for Big Chief's Hierarchy of Needs whiteboards, but the Search function licks big time.

Send a PM to Spencer or Trish and they can dig it up in the archives (that's how I got this)!
knokmdwn Offline
#40 Posted:
Joined: 04-13-2008
Posts: 8,849

LOL, I had forgotten about this. This is a classic for sure!!!
daveincincy Offline
#41 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
I'm not sure I ever understood this pic. Think ...but for some reason it made/makes me laugh.

Does that make me, like, bi-curious? Anxious
chiefburg Offline
#42 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
daveincincy wrote:
I'm not sure I ever understood this pic. Think ...but for some reason it made/makes me laugh.

Does that make me, like, bi-curious? Anxious

No, it doesn't make you bi-curious. But, it does make you gay and you must lick the OP's genital area for a spell.......

Hey, I didn't make the rules....since you asked, ya gotta lick.....
daveincincy Offline
#43 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
Is this like gaydar? Applause
tj2001cobra Offline
#44 Posted:
Joined: 08-05-2008
Posts: 28,561
I thought about posting his explanation of the "lick o meter" that he sent out to a few of us, but I dont think I'm going to. Might piss some other off LOL!

chiefburg Offline
#45 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
tj2001cobra wrote:
I thought about posting his explanation of the "lick o meter" that he sent out to a few of us, but I dont think I'm going to. Might piss some other off LOL!


You are right....it's best to leave it alone and enjoy the post for what it was! It still just cracks me up everytime I read it and think of the trouble he went to just to make a point.

He was a funny man who enjoyed having a good time and making a point in his own way! He will be sorely missed around here and no one can take his place......

Lick-O-Meter - that's just some funny chit......
DrMaddVibe Offline
#46 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,311
SAD.

RIP Chief!
JadeRose Offline
#47 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS!!!!! I laughed for days at this one.
chiefburg Offline
#48 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2005
Posts: 7,384
Topped for the newbies so they can feel free to discover their gayness. You can thank Big Chief and his indian school learning for this scientific device.Dancing
ZRX1200 Offline
#49 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,482
Hombre needs to reference Lick-O-meter for future cigar reviews.
borndead1 Offline
#50 Posted:
Joined: 11-07-2006
Posts: 5,215
Funny stuff. RIP Big Chief.
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