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Last post 4 years ago by teedubbya. 24 replies replies.
The Osama bin Laden conspiracy thread
jpotts Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
Ok, sice RICKAMAVEN is perplexed about the burial at sea, let's start a conspiracy thread.

I'll start: Osama bin Laden isn't dead.

The SEAL team incursion was a snatch-and-grab. The death story is a cover. Idi Amin Jr. grabbed him, wants to interrogate him, but doesn't want to make it look like he is a total and complete hypocrite (which he is anyways) by torturing the guy for information, then executing him without a trial.

A burial at sea is perfect. No way to recover the body. He's dead to the world.

Then they play-up that they hit the motherloade of intel caches, when the reality is that they not only have intel from his computers, but they are torturing him to extract every precious word he can utter from his still-breathing body.


Please, feel free to add your own.



FuzzNJ Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 06-28-2006
Posts: 13,000
Found this one on a right wing board.

This arrived in my in box, forwarded from a friend of a friend. I rewrote it and reworded it, to protect the chain of information. Some of you may know I was an officer in the Teams a few decades back. I still have contacts among the active duty community, and former frogs who are now working "in country" as security contractors.

Here's what really happened. OBL was taken down on the third floor, that's true. He was cornered and then jacked up. He was then, deliberately in front of hysterical witness, shot in the face and head with red 9mm paintball "simunitions" out of an MP5. Real blood was thrown around for effect. In the crazy glare of battle lights it all looked quite realistic, and the witnesses will go to their graves believing they saw OBL killed in front of them. But that didn't happen.

He was stunned, knocked out with a hand taser, then hooded and bagged and dragged out to the helos. Then a dummy was "buried at sea" in his place, no photos are going to be released, and here we are. The world believes OBL is dead, so the agency and foreign interrogators don't have to be gentle with him during his prolonged "debriefing" in a secret safehouse prison with only one guest. This was their "best case scenario" among the options confronting them depending on the amount of resistance encountered in the compound and the house. They achieved their optimal goal, the "jackpot." OBL is alive and under interrogation in a secret safehouse, and the world believes he's dead.
teedubbya Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
jpotts wrote:
Ok, sice RICKAMAVEN is perplexed about the burial at sea, let's start a conspiracy thread.

I'll start: Osama bin Laden isn't dead.

The SEAL team incursion was a snatch-and-grab. The death story is a cover. Idi Amin Jr. grabbed him, wants to interrogate him, but doesn't want to make it look like he is a total and complete hypocrite (which he is anyways) by torturing the guy for information, then executing him without a trial.

A burial at sea is perfect. No way to recover the body. He's dead to the world.

Then they play-up that they hit the motherloade of intel caches, when the reality is that they not only have intel from his computers, but they are torturing him to extract every precious word he can utter from his still-breathing body.


Please, feel free to add your own.





I really hope this is true and he is being waterboarded with carbonated pork broth poured through Oprahs nether regions after a nice jog. I would actually respect this administration if that was the case.
JadeRose Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
teedubbya wrote:
I really hope this is true and he is being waterboarded with carbonated pork broth poured through Oprahs nether regions after a nice jog. I would actually respect this administration if that was the case.




mmmmmmm....Pork Soda.......delicious AND a great album.
rwilly Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 07-16-2010
Posts: 1,987
teedubbya wrote:
I really hope this is true and he is being waterboarded with carbonated pork broth poured through Oprahs nether regions after a nice jog. I would actually respect this administration if that was the case.



Now that's some torture!
Papachristou Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
LMfao. If this was true that would awesome!
FATASH Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 10-02-2010
Posts: 2,155
#3
That would be a site to see, having it posted on a webcam for the world to see.
bdrizzle Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 01-27-2011
Posts: 2,511
They should make him start every morning with a Punisher on an empty stomach. Oh yeah, and he can't take a dump till he finishes the whole thing!
kwenner Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2009
Posts: 659
They should use the Wu-Tang CD on the torture thing... You know pulling his tongue out of his mouth and stabbing it with a rusty screwdriver, then sewing his butthole closed and keep feeding him (pork in this case), and stuff like that...

Chanting USA, USA, USA, over and over and over... Applause

jig+pig Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 12-30-2010
Posts: 1,349
I saw OBL this morning on the front deck of a bass boat under the W.W. Bridge. He was catchin em too!
DrafterX Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,508
jig+pig wrote:
I saw OBL this morning on the front deck of a bass boat under the W.W. Bridge. He was catchin em too!




did you see CROS..?? Huh
teedubbya Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
I saw OBL walking with the queen (no not jpotts). His hair was perfect.
JadeRose Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
teedubbya wrote:
I saw OBL walking with the queen (no not jpotts). His hair was perfect.



He was probably on his way to drink a pina colada at Trader Vic's.








With CROS Anxious
Papachristou Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
FuzzNJ wrote:
Found this one on a right wing board.

This arrived in my in box, forwarded from a friend of a friend. I rewrote it and reworded it, to protect the chain of information. Some of you may know I was an officer in the Teams a few decades back. I still have contacts among the active duty community, and former frogs who are now working "in country" as security contractors.

Here's what really happened. OBL was taken down on the third floor, that's true. He was cornered and then jacked up. He was then, deliberately in front of hysterical witness, shot in the face and head with red 9mm paintball "simunitions" out of an MP5. Real blood was thrown around for effect. In the crazy glare of battle lights it all looked quite realistic, and the witnesses will go to their graves believing they saw OBL killed in front of them. But that didn't happen.

He was stunned, knocked out with a hand taser, then hooded and bagged and dragged out to the helos. Then a dummy was "buried at sea" in his place, no photos are going to be released, and here we are. The world believes OBL is dead, so the agency and foreign interrogators don't have to be gentle with him during his prolonged "debriefing" in a secret safehouse prison with only one guest. This was their "best case scenario" among the options confronting them depending on the amount of resistance encountered in the compound and the house. They achieved their optimal goal, the "jackpot." OBL is alive and under interrogation in a secret safehouse, and the world believes he's dead.




i cant tell you how much this is "jacked up"

military do not use phrases like cornered, then jacked up
face and head are the same thing last time i checked
WTF are battle lights? you mean tac lights?
the witness didnt think it odd they were throwing blood around?
why would you taze him if he was already stunned?
there was only one helo. the other crashed
you could waterboard him all day, i dont think obl would crack imo, but hey, wouldnt hurt to try would it? Applause
borndead1 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 11-07-2006
Posts: 5,215
The best one I've heard: Osama Bin Laden is in reality a CIA asset named Tim Osman.
teedubbya Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
borndead1 wrote:
The best one I've heard: Osama Bin Laden is in reality a CIA asset named Tim Osman.



I KNEW it
DrafterX Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,508
I heard a war puppy-dog bit his face off.... that's why they can't show pics and stuff... Mellow
Papachristou Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
like this one?

http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/dog-of-war-aqualink.jpg
Papachristou Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-20-2010
Posts: 845
or this one? i hope it was this puppy. it looks like it wanted to lick obl's face!

http://k9pride.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/20030515-m-8011m-006.jpg

DrafterX Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,508
LOL

that could be him... they haven't released his name and stuff... Mellow
DrafterX Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,508
most likey the second one... Mellow
teedubbya Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Mmm porkbroth
JadeRose Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
teedubbya wrote:
Mmm porkbroth



I hope CROS got his Pina Colada. I miss tussling with Pottsie. It was almost too easy but he'd fight a good battle occasionally
teedubbya Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Me too. Where is Potts? Working on his manifesto?
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