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SteveS Offline
#101 Posted: Thu, Mar 2 2017, 10:05 PM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
Peckerhead wrote:
New housekeeper keeps putting the toilet paper on the wrong way.


Far more folks put in on backward than they do the right way ...
frankj1 Offline
#102 Posted: Thu, Mar 2 2017, 10:09 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
bgz wrote:
Accidents happen... and I heard they happen more as you get older...

I'm older, and I didn't hear that.
No. wait, not what I meant...
Peckerhead Offline
#103 Posted: Thu, Mar 2 2017, 11:19 PM EST
Joined: 05-02-2016
Posts: 479
Ok maggots,
I see that I'm going to have my hands full around here trying to whip you bastids into shape.
I guess it's good we're starting from the basics in life.

Life lesson #1 Friggin' Toilet Paper!

http://currentconfig.com/2005/02/22/essential-life-lesson-1-over-is-right-under-is-wrong/

..that saves me a bunch of dammed typin.

bgz Offline
#104 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 12:01 AM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
lies.
Peckerhead Offline
#105 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 12:06 AM EST
Joined: 05-02-2016
Posts: 479
Drop and give me twenty maggot!
jjanecka Offline
#106 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 8:58 AM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
That's not even funny; it's stupid...
SMOKEYOU Offline
#107 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 9:09 AM EST
Joined: 10-14-2015
Posts: 2,275
I dont wipe. I just scoop and scrape.
bgz Offline
#108 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 9:40 AM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
jjanecka wrote:
That's not even funny; it's stupid...


He's just a filthy noob who who gets a little too anal with his toilette paper, don't mind him.
Speyside Offline
#109 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 1:34 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Meh.
elRopo Offline
#110 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 2:16 PM EST
Joined: 02-17-2014
Posts: 905
jjanecka wrote:
That's not even funny; it's stupid...

Don't hold back, tell us how you really feel.
tailgater Offline
#111 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 4:31 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
coolbreeze68 wrote:
I put in a smart thermostat cuz I'm tired of going upstairs to adjust the climate.



Just don't change it...
tailgater Offline
#112 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 4:32 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
SMOKEYOU wrote:
I dont wipe. I just scoop and scrape.


Nice to meet you.
Shake my hand and I'll punch you in the face.
SMOKEYOU Offline
#113 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 4:51 PM EST
Joined: 10-14-2015
Posts: 2,275
tailgater wrote:
Nice to meet you.
Shake my hand and I'll punch you in the face.



Whoa. I guess i would deserve that.
jjanecka Offline
#114 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 11:15 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
That ackward moment when you realize your bartender used to be a hooker.
elRopo Offline
#115 Posted: Fri, Mar 3 2017, 11:23 PM EST
Joined: 02-17-2014
Posts: 905
jjanecka wrote:
That ackward moment when you realize your bartender used to be a hooker.

Even worse.....you realise that the ugly fat broad with a moustache sitting next to you at the bar is one of the girls you screwed in Jr. high.
victor809 Offline
#116 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 9:48 AM EST
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Got the free upgrade to main cabin select on virgin america... But they haven't turned on the in flight entertainment while I wait for the other passengers to board... life is hard.
8trackdisco Offline
#117 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 11:13 AM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,074

Because I'll be traveling, I'm going to miss he Arsenal v Liverpool pregame show.
victor809 Offline
#118 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 12:02 PM EST
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
While on the plane I wanted a free snack pack. Because we get free snack packs and alcohol in the main cabin select. I went to order it and they were gone. The fat guy next to me got two which he put in his bag "for later"...

I had to settle for beef sticks, cookies and wine for breakfast
victor809 Offline
#119 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 1:50 PM EST
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
I hope you liked your snack packs drafter...
Peckerhead Offline
#120 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 3:37 PM EST
Joined: 05-02-2016
Posts: 479
Went to play golf and the valet service is on strike. Unbelievable. Was really looking forward to getting out on the greens.
frankj1 Offline
#121 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 3:59 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
ordered cigars on line and they didn't arrive.

too many posts to see if this has been said already

oh, and another problem...too many posts to read on some threads
jjanecka Offline
#122 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 4:09 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
victor809 wrote:
I hope you liked your snack packs drafter...


This was on the back to Mexico right? That might be Drafter's last decent meal.

peckerhead wrote:
Went to play golf and the valet service is on strike. Unbelievable. Was really looking forward to getting out on the greens. Also I am a very straight man.


Liar...
RMAN4443 Offline
#123 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 5:24 PM EST
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
bgz wrote:
He's just a filthy noob who who gets a little too anal with his toilette paper, don't mind him.



I thought that was how toilet paper worked Think Think
RMAN4443 Offline
#124 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 5:29 PM EST
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
[quote=RMAN4443]I thought that was how toilet paper worked Think Think [/quote

which reminds me......What does the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?
































They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons LOL LOL
jjanecka Offline
#125 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 6:48 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Not talking
8trackdisco Offline
#126 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 7:57 PM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,074
Sat down and noticed my cigar was on the other side of the room.

Had to get up and get it- all by myself.
frankj1 Offline
#127 Posted: Sat, Mar 4 2017, 10:08 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
oy!
jjanecka Offline
#128 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 9:54 AM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
That's a travesty; in a third world country you could have easily gotten your servant to fetch it and light it for you.
8trackdisco Offline
#129 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 9:57 AM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,074
Spent so much time posting here, my coffee got cold.

Inhumane.
MACS Offline
#130 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 11:09 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,751
Spent 7 hours fishing and didn't catch anything but a handful of mackerel.
KingoftheCove Offline
#131 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 11:09 AM EST
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,631
It's snowing...........on the coast.......in southern Oregon..........in March.
Might go ski down the street.
RMAN4443 Offline
#132 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 2:02 PM EST
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Remote for tv died and I don't have any good batteries......... wait a minute, I think there's some good ones in the smoke detector
elRopo Offline
#133 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 2:08 PM EST
Joined: 02-17-2014
Posts: 905
RMAN4443 wrote:
Remote for tv died and I don't have any good batteries......... wait a minute, I think there's some good ones in the smoke detector

Prolly the wrong size.Boo hoo!
8trackdisco Offline
#134 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 4:16 PM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,074
RMAN4443 wrote:
Remote for tv died and I don't have any good batteries......... wait a minute, I think there's some good ones in the smoke detector


Good prioritization!
8trackdisco Offline
#135 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 4:18 PM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,074
I have remorse over my frozen yogurt selection. Picked a chocolate strawberry combo. Should have selected the espresso option.
bgz Offline
#136 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 4:43 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
I tried to put a baby fade to the right side of the fairway and put it in the lake instead... oops.
frankj1 Offline
#137 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 5:14 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
I honestly don't know how we all deal with these problems yet maintain our cheerful dispositions.
Perhaps we are actually the Greatest Generation?
8trackdisco Offline
#138 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 5:17 PM EST
Joined: 11-06-2004
Posts: 60,074
Bourbon glass empty and wife out of shouting range for a refill.
frankj1 Offline
#139 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 6:29 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
yup, definitely Greatest Generation.
jjanecka Offline
#140 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 8:19 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
8track, she would answered you if you wouldn't have ball gagged her and hog tied her as punishment for burning the toast this morning...
frankj1 Offline
#141 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 8:25 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
jjanecka wrote:
8track, she would answered you if you wouldn't have ball gagged her and hog tied her as punishment for burning the toast this morning...

borderline third world reaction
jjanecka Offline
#142 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 9:00 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
It's been accepted in the 1st world ever since the "I fell and it just slipped in" defense occurred in the UK.

Sad times we're living in...
frankj1 Offline
#143 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 9:29 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,219
jjanecka wrote:
It's been accepted in the 1st world ever since the "I fell and it just slipped in" defense occurred in the UK.

Sad times we're living in...

sad, yes. but funny too.
I think it may have always been this way...
jjanecka Offline
#144 Posted: Sun, Mar 5 2017, 10:01 PM EST
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Yes, but before it was just considered spoils of war not everyday living.
bgz Offline
#145 Posted: Mon, Mar 27 2017, 5:20 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
So I got my ass kicked by a Tesla today off a red light...

*sigh*
MACS Offline
#146 Posted: Mon, Mar 27 2017, 5:45 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,751
bgz wrote:
So I got my ass kicked by a Tesla today off a red light...

*sigh*


Electric motors have torque for friggin days, dummy. You'll always lose the start, possibly even the quarter... but challenge that prick to a 300 mile race. You'll have gas and he'll be out of power at the 200 mark!! Winnah!!
bgz Offline
#147 Posted: Mon, Mar 27 2017, 5:59 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Well, I'm dumb, I know it can beat me, but I still have to try.

Mine sounds cooler though :D

Ya, I would lose the quarter to it too. Those things are friggin quick (Model S P85D).
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#148 Posted: Mon, Mar 27 2017, 6:47 PM EST
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
bgz wrote:
Well, I'm dumb, I know it can beat me, but I still have to try.

Mine sounds cooler though :D

Ya, I would lose the quarter to it too. Those things are friggin quick (Model S P85D).


What do you drive?
bgz Offline
#149 Posted: Mon, Mar 27 2017, 7:52 PM EST
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Hank_The_Tank wrote:
What do you drive?


Charger Scat Pack, 392...

Family car, roomy 4 door sedan.
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#150 Posted: Mon, Mar 27 2017, 8:04 PM EST
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
bgz wrote:
Charger Scat Pack, 392...

Family car, roomy 4 door sedan.


Very nice!
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