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Last post 7 years ago by delta1. 15 replies replies.
I love it when the kiddies get their tax returns......
imready Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 12-07-2011
Posts: 2
Never fails, when the tax return arrives all the children decide they are going to be cigar smokers. They show up at Cbid and $1.50 cigars start selling for $3 and $3 cigars go for $5 or $6 bucks a whack. Hey, but they won the auction, right? Time to drum on your chest and do your best Tarzan call. Just wish I could be there with my camera so I could take pictures of them heaving in the gutter after huffing the first one down to the nub. I was young some 40+ years ago and thought rum crooks and swisher sweets were the cats meow, so who am I to talk. I also tried smoking a pipe for a while and still remember just how nasty it got because I never replaced the filter or cleaned it properly. Those were the days...... Now the Dr. says I should quit cigars in one breath and then tells me people who smoke cigars that have one of my medical conditions (Ulcerative Colitis) live longer than those who don't. I'm confused enough without getting that kind of info from the doc . He also suggest I go to a bordering state and buy medical marihuana to treat the symptoms of a couple of other diseases I have. Crap, if I could make the round trip by myself I wouldn't need the drugs in the first place. Good thing I don't pay for his services, we'd be better of as fishing buddies, then I wouldn't get pissed off when he starts talking stupid like me. Now that I'm old, the accomplishments I brag about aren't about the huge fish I caught or how GOOD my current chick is. It's that I got disability without a lawyer and SSDI didn't even want to send to be processed again to see if I could go back to work. That and the $8 k in medication per month I take are the things I brag about now. Pathetic, right? Heck, I haven't left the city in 10 years except to see a specialist for a medical condition and once on the job when I could still work. UC makes you paranoid you might crap your pants at any minute. I still remember how relieved I felt when I got 90 miles down the road without crapping my pants. It's a good thing I lived life to the fullest in my younger years or I'd be one bitter old SOB. But the only thing I'm really bitter about is every year around this time these youngsters show up and drive up the prices of cigars. Think I'll try to make my last 6 cigars last until the weather warms up a bit and the kids forget about how cool it would be to smoke cigars so I can get back to getting some good sticks a great prices once again. I should be able to do it, my medication suggests I only one per week. Think I'll tell the Dr. next time to stuff it up his butt,
elRopo Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 02-17-2014
Posts: 905
Its good to hear that you're doing so well!
Welcome to the nervous hospital.
JadeRose Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
Mellow
strikeanywhere Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 01-23-2009
Posts: 358
A very long overbid post...congrats
MACS Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,599
I ain't got time fo dat.

Ever heard of paragraphs?
Just Relax Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 09-26-2016
Posts: 587
Hey it could be worse... You could have won some sweet deals and also not got the cigars.
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
imready wrote:
Never fails, when the tax return arrives all the children decide they are going to be cigar smokers. They show up at Cbid and $1.50 cigars start selling for $3 and $3 cigars go for $5 or $6 bucks a whack. Hey, but they won the auction, right? Time to drum on your chest and do your best Tarzan call. Just wish I could be there with my camera so I could take pictures of them heaving in the gutter after huffing the first one down to the nub. I was young some 40+ years ago and thought rum crooks and swisher sweets were the cats meow, so who am I to talk. I also tried smoking a pipe for a while and still remember just how nasty it got because I never replaced the filter or cleaned it properly. Those were the days...... Now the Dr. says I should quit cigars in one breath and then tells me people who smoke cigars that have one of my medical conditions (Ulcerative Colitis) live longer than those who don't. I'm confused enough without getting that kind of info from the doc . He also suggest I go to a bordering state and buy medical marihuana to treat the symptoms of a couple of other diseases I have. Crap, if I could make the round trip by myself I wouldn't need the drugs in the first place. Good thing I don't pay for his services, we'd be better of as fishing buddies, then I wouldn't get pissed off when he starts talking stupid like me. Now that I'm old, the accomplishments I brag about aren't about the huge fish I caught or how GOOD my current chick is. It's that I got disability without a lawyer and SSDI didn't even want to send to be processed again to see if I could go back to work. That and the $8 k in medication per month I take are the things I brag about now. Pathetic, right? Heck, I haven't left the city in 10 years except to see a specialist for a medical condition and once on the job when I could still work. UC makes you paranoid you might crap your pants at any minute. I still remember how relieved I felt when I got 90 miles down the road without crapping my pants. It's a good thing I lived life to the fullest in my younger years or I'd be one bitter old SOB. But the only thing I'm really bitter about is every year around this time these youngsters show up and drive up the prices of cigars. Think I'll try to make my last 6 cigars last until the weather warms up a bit and the kids forget about how cool it would be to smoke cigars so I can get back to getting some good sticks a great prices once again. I should be able to do it, my medication suggests I only one per week. Think I'll tell the Dr. next time to stuff it up his butt,



Cool story bro.
imready Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 12-07-2011
Posts: 2
MACS wrote:
I ain't got time fo dat.

Ever heard of paragraphs?


The grammar police, they're everywhere! I guess you recognized I am a professional writer. I usually have a proof reader that corrects all my errors but he decided to smoke a president down to the nub and was busy talking to the commode.
gummy jones Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
strikeanywhere wrote:
A very long overbid post...congrats


Applause
tonygraz Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
imready wrote:
The grammar police, they're everywhere! I guess you recognized I am a professional writer. I usually have a proof reader that corrects all my errors but he decided to smoke a president down to the nub and was busy talking to the commode.



Great - another chit talker.
Speyside Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Are you related to Hank the Tank?
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
No relation...that I know of...I do have about 37 children that I don't really know anything about.
frankj1 Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
Hank_The_Tank wrote:
No relation...that I know of...I do have about 37 children that I don't really know anything about.

I hope this long lost child doesn't wear chest high waders
dstieger Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
Mr. Ready, you may take small comfort in the knowledge that a good number of those kids won't actually get any cigars....not this year, anyway
delta1 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
uummmm...........dare I ask..........................what are you READY for???





























...this place is starting to feel like SoCal...
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