Guy driving down the street & spots a shiny corvette at the corner car lot so he goes in to look.
He's walking around the car & a salesman comes out.
After talking a bit he asks to drive it, salesman says sure but I need to tell you this car is a little different as it runs on Vaseline. Guy opines yes, that is odd but wtf.
So he takes it out & after a bit he wants to see what it'll do so he heads out of town to some backroads. About the time he gets his foot to the floor
It starts sputtering and he notices the Vaseline gauge is on E and he coasts to a stop. As luck would have it he has stopped at a long driveway to an old farm house & proceeds to walk up it.
In the farm house they are having dinner and mom says since I prepared the meal I shouldn't have to do the dishes, dad says, since I do all the work I shouldn't do the dishes, the smokin hot 23 yo daughter says, I have a date I can't do the dishes, and the younger daughter says I have homework I can't do the dishes..so dad says here is what we will do. Everyone to the living room on the couch and the first to make a sound has to do the dishes. They all agree and head to the couch.
Up walks corvette guy and knocks on the door.
After a couple minutes he looks thru the blind & can see them all on the couch so he walks in .... he was hungry and dinner was on the table so he asks if he could fix himself a plate & no one says a word, so he proceeds to dine. With a full belly he's wanting something to drink so he asks and no one says a word so he hits the fridge.... while all of this is going on he notices mom is a rather attractive woman and has given him a couple signs so he walks over to mom, still on the couch and says while I'm here I think I'll have sex with mom....nobody says a word & he escorts her to a back room. After a passionate session they come out & he comments to older daughter and that he'd like to do her also... nobody says a word & off to the back room they go. Upon returning to the living room he declares he may as well have the younger daughter while he's here...nobody says a word & off to the back they go
Once done he returns to the living room, belly full,all else empty and asks for some Vaseline. Dad stands up & yells:
ILL DO THE DAMN DISHES, we havnt got any Vaseline!!
An old man walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old man tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he's had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does".
