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Last post 6 years ago by plinytheelder. 28 replies replies.
I have failed as a father.
Ewok126 Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
I just want to share this with you all. Today a close friend of mine came to visit. Just out of the blue he drives 5 hours from Biloxi MS to Memphis TN just to come see how I am doing and to hang out and smoke a few cigars together for the day.

A little background on this guy:

He is ex military, he was in both gulf wars and also was in on the "War on Drugs" Campaign. He flew on the C130 keeping the fuel levels equal in both tanks in order to keep the plane balanced so it would not crash basically. After his years of service he went into the medical field, worked and helped with a surgeon that was responsible for pretty much inventing the standard patient of care for electromyograms in the operating room which is used in monitoring spine surgeries now all across the United States. This guy was also responsible for training me for my career and also got me started in the field.

He has vouched for me twice in obtaining a job with two different companies and made it possible for me and my family to have been able to travel all around the US while doing my job prior to my stroke. Needless to say I have nothing but the of most respect for this guy and feel that I owe him a great great deal. Now, my buddy owns his own business and supplies intranoperative monitoring service for all hospitals in the Biloxi and Gulfport region in MS.

Now for my son who is 22 years old, He works for FedEx on the tarmac at the World Hub here in Memphis. Him and his girlfriend live here with my wife and I. I have tried to raise him as a man and teach him on what I think a "Man" should be, which yes, is a matter of opinion. He loves to hunt, fish ect typical stuff but sometimes flat out lazy, rude, disrespectful ect as a typical young man in what I see in today's times.

The male bonding ritual:

Today I thought it might do my son some good to hang out with the boys while we talk business and let him experience the male bonding ritual. Networking in such a way can help in life so much, as it had with me in my career, not only with this guy but also with every surgeon all across the US that I have ever had the pleasure to work with.

It has also gained me friends such as this fellow that would drop everything to come to my need if I or my family should call. It was him that my wife called while I was in recovery with my heart surgery having hallucinations. It was him that figured out what the problem was and guided my wife in fixing the issues with the overdose of meds they was giving me. This guy will be one of the few men that will help carry my pine box to the hole when that time comes.

Shame Time:

So we are out in the garage and my son smoking his first cigar and being guided by my buddy on how to cut, light ect and I have to admit I was proud. He followed instruction very well. I would have been able to take him to the local cigar lounge and hang out with the guys and not worry about "saving face" My son took his time while smoking and was not chugging it down like a starving mad man. Also to my surprise he was enjoying it.

Now here is where my brain exploded in awe. My son looks over to my buddy and says. I have a question. Now keep in mind again, my son works on the tarmac for Fed Ex and is 22 years old. Me being interested in what he is going to ask, I am listening very closely to every word. He ask my buddy this and I quote "Do you have to have a license to fly commercial a plane?"............ Anxious I almost dropped my cigar. My buddy, just kind of freezes and then slowly turns and looks at me like I have a 3rd arm growing out of my ass. All I could do was hang my head and say "Yep I have failed as a father"

Knowing my buddy I knew what was coming and I was thinking ok here we go Sarcasm .... He looks at my son and says "Nope, you just go down to the local car lot, buy you a plane and fly the f*cker home." he then tells my son "look you are 22 years old, you have been driving a car since the age of 15, you work loading some of the largest planes for one of the largest shipping companies in the US at the WORLD hub no less, so I am going to give you 3 minutes to think about that question then you tell me... Do you think you have to have a license to fly a commercial plane here in the US." Thank GOD my son said "yes".....Brick wall Brick wall Brick wall

Welcome to my life
Ewok
Burner02 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 12-21-2010
Posts: 12,861
You have not failed. Sons will continue to amaze at least until they are 30 years old. About the time you think the son in question is well grounded, out of no where comes a WTF was that. Could be verbal or some high school-ish behavior. I would not worry to much.

Son and girl friend living at home, maybe time to worry.

gummy jones Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
he was probably just trying to make conversation
Speyside Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
1) You have not failed.
2) Don't sweat the little things.
3) The answer at the end was more important than the initial question.
Ewok126 Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
Burner02 wrote:
You have not failed. Sons will continue to amaze at least until they are 30 years old. About the time you think the son in question is well grounded, out of no where comes a WTF was that. Could be verbal or some high school-ish behavior. I would not worry to much.

Son and girl friend living at home, maybe time to worry.




I will admit, the two living at home has brought me some worry. Granted he is my son and I do want the best for him. What scares me about it is I see no drive in him, He is kind of like water in taking the path of least resistance. Had a free ride to college and pissed that away because and I quote "I dont like the professor" There was the WTF moment. But, its his life right Think lol.....
Ewok126 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
Speyside wrote:
1) You have not failed.
2) Don't sweat the little things.
3) The answer at the end was more important than the initial question.


Very very true Speyside, I think it might have been a small learning moment for him. Granted an embarrassing one but one none the less.
Ewok126 Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
gummy jones wrote:
he was probably just trying to make conversation


That is possible Gummy, Most of the time his conversations consist of video games and vape devices and not much else. He could have just been out of his comfort zone.
gummy jones Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
Ewok126 wrote:
I will admit, the two living at home has brought me some worry. Granted he is my son and I do want the best for him. What scares me about it is I see no drive in him, He is kind of like water in taking the path of least resistance. Had a free ride to college and pissed that away because and I quote "I dont like the professor" There was the WTF moment. But, its his life right Think lol.....


you will always be his father and have a role to play so long as you want to
Ewok126 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
gummy jones wrote:
you will always be his father and have a role to play so long as you want to


Very very true and that will never change as long as I am able. I will have to admit we all did get a laugh out of it. He was able to take a little jabbing at his ego and he was able to give it back to us with out getting all pissed off which I will admit, is a huge change for him and a good one in my eyes.
JadeRose Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
Prolly just high
victor809 Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Definitely failed. Sorry. Hope you have another better one.
jjanecka Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
It could be worse, your son could be down by the river having a three way with Vic and ZRX in his van.
Ewok126 Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
JadeRose wrote:
Prolly just high



Bwahahahah there is no telling with that boy.
Ewok126 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
victor809 wrote:
Definitely failed. Sorry. Hope you have another better one.



Oh but hell no, Another one, not this old boy.
Ewok126 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
jjanecka wrote:
It could be worse, your son could be down by the river having a three way with Vic and ZRX in his van.


Very very true, Not that it would bother me all that much of him having a three way with Vic and ZRX, but if you seen his girlfriend, You slap the **** out of him just for giving that up for Vic and ZRX lol. No offense guys but I know she's a hell of a lot better looking than you two lmaoooo....
victor809 Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Hey... I'm very very good looking.
victor809 Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Some might say I'm quite a catch.
Ewok126 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
victor809 wrote:
Some might say I'm quite a catch.


LOL I would not doubt that one bit but the girlfriend is 23, pretty hot looking, works hard and shes got double J breast. Him being a 22 year old male. I would kick him in the nuts if he trades down lol.....Silenced
victor809 Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Oh... he likes big boobs eh?

He's gonna have to trade up to drafter then... he's got a pair of tits on him that'd make dolly parton jealous.
Ewok126 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
victor809 wrote:
Oh... he likes big boobs eh?

He's gonna have to trade up to drafter then... he's got a pair of tits on him that'd make dolly parton jealous.

Bwahahahahahaha..... Ok I just choked on my drink.
MACS Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,593
victor809 wrote:
Some might say I'm quite a catch.


Yeah... he looks a lot like a lingcod.

http://peninsulasportsman.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/lingmaw.jpg
jasecoff Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 06-05-2017
Posts: 66
HA. nothing to worry about there. My daughter is 22 and some of the stupid questions she asks me make me wonder sometimes who taught her to breath because it couldn't have come natural to her.
Ewok126 Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
MACS wrote:
Yeah... he looks a lot like a lingcod.

http://peninsulasportsman.com/site/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/lingmaw.jpg



Ok you can have my eyes now... I dont need them any more lmaooo...Sick
Ewok126 Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
jasecoff wrote:
HA. nothing to worry about there. My daughter is 22 and some of the stupid questions she asks me make me wonder sometimes who taught her to breath because it couldn't have come natural to her.



Well you know, I have often wondered if his way of thinking is natural for that age or lack there of. Then I cant but to help remember my youth. I can remember back as far as the age of 5 years old learning how to swim. I asked my father to teach me while standing beside my grandmothers in ground pool. My dad said "sure" and threw me in the deep end and said swim or drown. Lucky for me swimming came naturally. I do not remember ever asking such a question without thinking first. Oh wait there was that one time with my ex wife. The question was "Will you marry me"...............d'oh! So I guess I can not throw rocks when I live in a glass house right?
delta1 Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
Could've been he was asking about special kinds of licences/training and certifications for being a commercial jet pilot...might've been better to ask what he meant by the question...sometimes it is better to ask for clarification when you are confronted with an apparently "dumb question"...unless you don't want to confirm...

We are not all blessed with brilliant children...sometimes, some of us are given some challenges...it is up to you to choose to fail...or to do the best you can...
burnem2 Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 12-23-2009
Posts: 628
Your only failure was having a son. We're all one brick shy of a load and can prove it any moment!!!
Stinkdyr Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2009
Posts: 9,948
Ancient chinese saying..........We should not expect too much from our children.


so true.

Beer
plinytheelder Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 10-24-2006
Posts: 8,833
Did you ever talk to your son about piloting airplanes?
If you didn't, you didn't fail...





delta1 wrote:
Could've been he was asking about special kinds of licences/training and certifications for being a commercial jet pilot...might've been better to ask what he meant by the question...sometimes it is better to ask for clarification when you are confronted with an apparently "dumb question"...unless you don't want to confirm...

We are not all blessed with brilliant children...sometimes, some of us are given some challenges...it is up to you to choose to fail...or to do the best you can...


Think This comment though has me wondering. If you work in the airline business, and FedEx certainly qualifies as such, you would know just by casual observation that the pilots have a license. The moment the question came out of his mouth was a "WTF have you been doing at work" moment...
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