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I would try and explain it, but I don't think I can break it down fractionally for you.

--------------------------> Math Jokes

<--Average cbidder.

When he laid down the law among the Danes:
They shouldered him out to the sea’s flood,
30
T
he chief they revered who had long ruled them.
A ring
-
whorled prow rode in the harbour,
Ice
-
clad, outbound, a craft for a prince.
They stretched their beloved lord in his boat,
Laid out by the mast, amidships,
The great ring
-
giver.
Far
-
fetched treasures
Were piled upon him, and precious gear.
I never heard before of a ship so well furbished
With battle tackle, bladed weapons
And coats of mail.
The massed treasure
40
Was loaded on top of him: it would travel far
On out into
the ocean’s sway.
They decked his body no less bountifully
With offerings than those first ones did
Who cast him away when he was a child
And launched him alone out over the waves.
And they set a gold standard up
High above his head and let him drift
To
wind and tide, bewailing him
And mourning their loss.
No man can tell,
50
No wise man in hall or weathered veteran
Knows for certain who salvaged that load.
Then it fell to Beow to keep the forts.
He was well regarded
and ruled the Danes
For a long time after his father took leave
Of his life on earth.
And then his heir,
The great Halfdane, held sway
For as long as he lived, their elder and warlord.
He was four times a father, this fighter prince:
One by one they ente
red the world,
60
Heorogar, Hrothgar, the good Halga
And a daughter, I have heard, who was Onela’s queen,

A balm in bed to the battle
-
scarred Swede.
The fortunes of war favored Hrothgar.
Friends and kinsmen flo
cked to his ranks,
Young followers, a force that grew
To be a mighty army.
So his mind turned
To hall
-
building: he handed down orders
For men to work on a great mead
-
hall
Meant to be a wonder of the world forever;
70
It would be his t
hrone
-
room and there he would dispense
His God
-
given goods to young and old
---
But not the common land or people’s lives.
Far and wide through the world, I have heard,
Orders for work to adorn that wall stead
Were sent to many peoples.
And soon it stood
there,
Finished and ready, in full view,
The hall of halls.
Heorot was the name
He had settled on it, whose utterance was law.
Nor did he renege, but doled out rings
80
And torques at the table.
The hall towered,
Its gables wide and high
and awaiting
A barbarous burning.
That doom abided,
But in time it would come: the killer instinct
Unleashed among in
-
laws, the blood
-
lust rampant.
Then a powerful demon, a prowler through the dark,
Nursed a hard grievance.
It harrowed him
To hear the d
in of the loud banquet
Every day in the hall, the harp being struck
And the clear song of a skilled poet
90
Telling with mastery of man’s beginnings,
How the Almighty had made the earth
A gleaming plain gird
led with waters;
In His splendour He set the sun and moon
To be earth’s lamplight, lanterns for men,
And filled the broad lap of the world
With branches and leaves; and quickened life
In every other thing that moved.
So times were pleasant for the people
there
Until finally one, a fiend out of Hell,
100
Began to work his evil in the world.
Grendel was the name of this grim demon
Haunting the marches, marauding round the heath
And the desolate fens; he had dwelt for a time
In misery among th
e banished monsters,
Cain’s clan, whom the creator had outlawed
And condemned as outcasts.
For the killing of Abel
The Eternal Lord had exacted a price:
Cain got no good from committing that murder
Because the Almighty made him anathema
1
10
And out of the curse of his exile there sprang
Ogres and elves and evil phantoms
And the giants too who strove with God
Time and again until He gave them their final reward.
So, after nightfall, Grendel set out
For the lofty house, to see how the Ring
-
Danes
Were settling into it after their drink,
And there he came upon them,
a company of the best
Asleep from their feasting, insensible to pain
And human sorrow.
Suddenly then
120
The God
-
cursed brute was creating havoc:
Greedy and grim, he grabbed thirty men
From their resting places and rushed to his lair,
Flushed up and inflamed from the raid,
Blundering back with the butchered corpses.
Then as dawn brightened and the day broke
Grendel’s powers of destruction were
plain:
Their wassail was over, they wept to heaven
And mourned under morning.
Their mighty prince,
The storied leader, sat stricken and helpless,
130
Humiliated by the loss of his guard,
Bewildered and stunned, staring aghast
And the demo
n’s trail, in deep distress.
He was numb with grief, but got no respite
For one night later the merciless Grendel
Struck again with more gruesome murders.
Malignant by nature, he never showed remorse.
It was easy then to meet with a man
Shifting himself to
a safer distance
To bed in the bothies, for who could be blind
140
To the evidence of his eyes, the obviousness
Of that hall
-
watcher’s hate?
Whoever escaped
Kept a weather
-
eye open and moved away.
So Grendel ruled in defiance of right,
One aga
inst all, until the greatest house
In the world stood empty, a deserted wall stead.
For twelve winters, seasons of woe,
The lord of the Shieldings suffered under
His load of sorrow; and so, before long,
The news was known over the whole
world.
150
Sad lays were sung about the beset king,
The vicious raids of Grendel,
His long and unrelenting feud,
Nothing but war; how he would never
Parley or make peace with any Dane
Nor stop his death
-
dealing nor pay the death
-
pri
ce.
No counsellor could ever expect
Fair reparation from those rabid hands.
All were endangered; young and old
Were hunted down by that dark death
-
shadow
160
Who lurked and swooped in the long nights
On the misty moors; no
body knows
Where these reavers from Hell roam on their errands.
So Grendel waged his lonely war,
Inflicting constant cruelties on the people,
Atrocious hurt.
He took over Heorot,
Haunted the glittering hall after dark,
But the throne itself, the treasure
-
seat,
He was kept from approaching;; he was the Lord’s outcast.
These were hard times, heart
-
breaking
170
For the prince of the Shieldings; powerful counselors,
The highest in the land, would lend advice,
Plotting how best the bold defen
ders
Might resist and beat off sudden attacks.
Sometimes at pagan shrines they vowed
Offering to idols, swore oaths
That the killer of souls might come to their aid
And save the people.
That was their way,
Their heathenish hope; deep in their hearts
They
remembered Hell.
The Almighty Judge
180
Of good deeds and bad, the Lord God,
Head of the Heavens and High King of the World,
Was unknown to them.
Oh, cursed is he
Who in time of trouble had to thrust his soul
In the fire’s embrace, forfeiti
ng help;
He has nowhere to turn.
But blessed is he
Who after death can approach the Lord
And find friendship in the Father’s embrace.
So that troubled time continued, woe
That never stopped, steady affliction
190
For Halfdane’s son, too
hard an ordeal.
There was panic after dark, people endured
Raids in the night, riven by terror.

Huh?
Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor.

In her fresh tar, until the time comes
For her curved prow to preen on the waves
And bear this hero back to Geatland.
May one so valiant and ventur
esome
Come unharmed through the clash of battle.”
300
So they went on their way.
The ship rode the water,
Broad
-
beamed, bound by its hawser
And anchored fast.
Boar
-
shapes flashed
Above their cheek
-
guards, the brightly forged
Work of
goldsmiths, watching over
Those stern
-
faced men.
They marched in step,
Hurrying on till the timbered hall
Rose before them, radiant with gold.
Nobody on earth knew of another
Building like it.
Majesty lodged there,
310
And its ligh
t shone over many lands.
So their gallant escort guided them
To that dazzling stronghold and indicated
The shortest way to it; then the noble warrior
Wheeled on his horse and spoke these words:
“It is time for me to go.
May the Almighty
Father keep you an
d in His kindness
Watch over your exploits.
I’m away to the sea,
Back on alert against enemy raiders.”
It was a paved track, a path that kept them
320
In marching order.
Their mail
-
shirts glinted,
Hard and hand
-
linked; the high
-
gloss
iron
Of their armour rang.
So they duly arrived
In their grim war
-
graith and gear at the hall,
And, weary from the sea, stacked wide shields
Of the toughest hardwood against the wall,
Then collapsed on the benches; battle
-
dress
And weapons clashed.
They
collected their spears
In a seafarer’s stook, a stand of grayish
Tapering ash.
And the troops themselves
330
Were as good as their weapons.
Then a proud warrior
Questioned the men concerning
their origins:
“Where do you come from, carrying these
Decorated shields and shirts of mail,
These cheek
-
hinged helmets and javelins?
I am Hrothgar’s herald and officer.
I have never seen so impressive or large
An assembly of strangers.
Stoutness of heart
,
Bravery not banishment, must have brought you to Hrothgar.”
The man whose name was known for courage,
340
The Geat leader, resolute in his helmet,
Answered in return: “We are retainers
From Hygelac’s band.
Beowulf is my name.
If your lord
and master, the most renowned
Son of Halfdane, will hear me out
And graciously allow me to greet him in person,
I am ready and willing to report my errand.”
Wulfgar replied, a Wendel chief
Renowned as a warrior, well known for his wisdom
And the temper o
f his mind: “I will take this message,
350
In accordance with your wish, to our noble king,
Our dear lord, friend of the Danes,
The giver of rings.
I will go and ask him
About your coming here, then hurry back
With whatever reply it pleases him to give.”
With that he turned to where Hrothgar sat,
An old man among retainers;
The valiant follower stood four
-
square
In front of his king: he knew the courtesies.
Wulfgar addressed his dear lord:
360
“People from Geatland have put
ashore.
They have sailed far over the wide sea.
They call the chief in charge of their band
By the name of Beowulf.
They beg, my lord,
An audience with you, exchange of words
And formal greeting.
Most gracious Hrothgar,
Do not refuse them, but grant the
m a reply.
From their arms and appointment, they appear well
-
born
And worthy of respect, especially the one
Who has led them this far: he is formidable indeed.”
370
Hrothgar, protector of Shieldings, replied:
“I used to know him when I was a yo
ung boy.
His father before him was called Ecgtheow.
Hrethel the Greath gave Ecgtheow
His daughter in marriage.
This man is their son,
Here to follow up an old friendship.
A crew of seamen who sailed for me once
With a gift
-
cargo across to Geatland
Returned with marvelous tales about him:
A thane, they declared,
with the strength of thirty
380
In the grip of each hand.
Now Holy God
Has, in His Goodness, guided him here
To the West
-
Danes, to defend us from Grendel.
This is my hope; and fo
r his heroism
I will recompense him with a rich treasure.
Go immediately, bid him and the Geats
He has is attendance to assemble and enter.
Say, moreover, when you speak to them,
That they are welcome in Denmark.”
At the do
or of the hall,
Wulfgar duly delivered the message:
390
“My lord, the conquering king of the Danes,
Bids me announce that he knows your ancestry;
Also that he welcomes you here to Heorot
And salutes your arrival from across the sea.
You
are free now to move forward
To meet Hrothgar, in helmets and armor,
But shields must stay here and spears be stacked
Until the outcome of the audience is clear.”
The hero arose, surrounded closely
By his powerful thanes.
A party remained
400
Under orders to keep watch on the arms;
The rest proceeded, lead by their prince
Under Heorot’s roof.
And standing on the hearth
In webbed links that the smith had woven,
The fine
-
forged mesh of his gleaming mail shirt,
Resolute in his helmet,
Beowulf spoke:
“Greetings to Hrothgar.
I am Hygelac’s kinsman,
One of his hall
-
troop.
When I was younger,
I had great triumphs.
Then news of Grendel,
Hard to ignore, reached me at home:
410
Sailors brought stories of the plight you s
uffer
In this legendary hall, how it lies deserted,
Empty and useless once the evening light
Hides itself under Heaven’s dome.
So every elder and experience councilman
Among my people supported my resolve
To come here to you, King Hrothgar,
Because all kn
ew of my awesome strength.
They had seen me boltered in the blood of enemies
When I battled and bound five beasts,
420
Raided a troll
-
nest and in the night
-
sea
Slaughtered sea
-
brutes.
I have suffered extremes
And avenged the Geats (their
enemies brought it
Upon themselves, I devastated them).
Now I mean to be a match for Grendel,
Settle the outcome in a single combat.

And so, my request, O king of Bright
-
Danes,
Dear prince pf the Shieldings, friend of the people
And their ring of defense,
my one request
Is that you won’t refuse me, who have come this far,
430
The privilege of purifying Heorot,
With my own men to help me, and nobody else.
I have heard moreover that the monster scorns
In his reckless way to use weapons;
Therefore, to heighten Hygelac’s fame
And gladden his heart, I hereby renounce
Sword and the shelter of the broad shield,
The heavy war
-
board: hand
-
to
-
hand
Is how it will be, a life
-
and
-
death
Fight with the fiend.
Whichever one death fells
440
Must deem it a just judgment by God.
If Grendel wins, it will be a gruesome day;
He will glut himself on the Geats in the war
-
hall,
Swoop without fear on that flower of manhood
As on others before.
Then my face won’t be there
To be covered in death; h
e will carry me away
As he goes to ground, gorged and bloodied;
He will run gloating with my raw corpse
And feed on it alone, in a cruel frenzy,
Fouling his moor
-
nest.
No need then
450
To lament for long or lay out my body:
If the battl
e takes me, send back
This breast
-
webbing that Weland fashioned
And Hrethel gave me, to Hygelac.
Fate goes ever as fate must.”
Hrothgar, the helmet of the Shieldings, spoke:
“Beowulf, my friend, you have traveled here
To favour
us with help and fight for us.
There was a feud one time, begun by your father.
With his own hands he had killed Heatholaf,
460
Who was a Wulfing; so war was looming
And his people, in fear of it, forced him to leave.
He came away then
over rolling waves
To the South Danes here, the sons of honor.
I was then in the full flush of kingship,
Establishing my sway over all the rich strongholds
Of this heroic land.
Heorogar,
My older brother and the better man,
Also a son of Halfdane’s, had
died.
Finally I healed the feud by paying:
470
I shipped a treasure
-
trove to the Wulfings
And Ecgtheow acknowledged me with oaths of allegiance.
“It bothers me to have to burden anyone
With all the grief Grendel has caused
And t
he havoc he has wreaked upon us in Heorot,
Our humiliations.
My household
-
guard
Are on the wane, fate sweeps them away
Into Grendel’s clutches
---
but God can easily
Halt these raids and harrowing attacks!
“Time and again, when the goblets passed
480
And seasoned fighters got flushed with beer
They would pledge themselves to protect Heorot
And wait for Grendel with whetted swords.
But when dawn broke and day crept in
Over each empty, blood
-
spattered bench,
The floor of the mead
-
hall
where they had feasted
Would be slick with slaughter.
And so they died,
Faithful retainers, and my following dwindled.
Now take your place at the table, relish
The triumph of heroes to your heart’s content.”
490
Then a bench was cleared in that b
anquet hall
So the Geats could have room to be together
And the party sat, proud in their bearing,
Strong and stalwart.
An attendant stood by
With a decorated pitcher, pouring bright
Helpings of mead.
And the minstrel sang,
Filling Heorot with his head
-
c
learing voice,
Gladdening that great rally of Danes and Geats.
From where he crouched at the king’s feet,
Unferth, a son of Ecglaf’s, spoke
500
Contrary words.
Beowulf’s coming,
His sea
-
braving, made him sick with envy:
He c
ould not brook or abide the fact
That anyone else alive under heaven
Might enjoy greater regard than he did:
“Are you the Beowulf who took on Breca
In a swimming match on the open sea,
Risking the water just to prove you could win?
It was sheer vanity made
you venture out
On the main deep.
And no matter who tried,
510
Friend or foe, to deflect the pair of you,
Neither would back down: the sea
-
test obsessed you.
You waded in, embracing water,
Taking its measure, mastering currents,
Ridin
g on the swell.
The ocean swayed,
Winter went wild in the waves, but you vied
For seven nights; and then he outswam you,
Came ashore the stronger contender.
He was cast up safe and sound one morning
Among the Heathoreams, then made his way
520
To where he belonged in Bronding country,
Home again, sure of his ground
In strong room and bawn.
So Breca made good
His boast upon you and was proved right.
No matter, therefore, how you may have fared
In every bout and battle until now,
This
time you’ll be worsted;; no one has ever
Outlasted an entire night against Grendel.”
Beowulf, Ecgtheow’s son, replied:
“Well, friend Unferth, you have had your say
530
About Breca and me.
But it was mostly beer
That was doing the talking.
The
truth is this:
When
the going was heavy in those high waves,
I was the strongest swimmer of all.
We’d been children together and we grew up
Daring ourselves to outdo each other,
Boasting and urging each other to risk
Our lives on the sea.
And so it turn
ed out.
Each of us swam holding a sword,
A naked, hard
-
proofed blade for protection
540
Against the whale
-
beasts.
But Breca could never
Move out farther or faster from me
Than I could manage to move from him.
Shoulder to shoulder, we
struggled on
For five nights, until the long flow
And pitch of the waves, the perishing cold,
Night falling and winds from the North
Drove us apart.
The deep boiled up
And its wallowing sent the sea
-
brutes wild.
My armor held me to hold out;
550
My hard
-
ringed chain
-
mail, hand
-
forged and linked,
A fine, close
-
fitting filigree of gold,
Kept me safe when some ocean creature
Pulled me to the bottom.
Pinioned fast
And swathed in its grip, I was granted one
Final chance: my sword plun
ged
And the ordeal was over.
Through my own hands
The fury of battle had finished off the sea
-
beast.
“Time and again, foul things attacked me,
Lurking and stalking, but I lashed out,
560
Gave as good as I got with my sword.
My flesh was
not for feasting on,
There would be no monsters gnawing and gloating
Over their banquet at the bottom of the sea.
Instead, in the morning, mangled and sleeping
The sleep of the sword, they slopped and floated
Like the ocean’s leavings.
From now on
Sailors
would the safe, the deep
-
sea raids
Were over for good.
Light came from the East,
Bright guarantee of God, and the waves
570
Went quiet; I could see the headlands
And buffeted cliffs.
Often, for undaunted courage,
Fate spares the man it
has not already marked.
However it had occurred, my sword had killed
Nine sea monsters.
Such night
-
dangers
And hard ordeals I have never heard of
Nor of a man so desolate in surging waves.
But worn out as I was, I survived,
Came through with my life.
Th
e ocean lifted
And laid me ashore, I landed safe
580
On the coast of Finland.
Now, I cannot recall
any fight you entered, Unferth,
That bears comparison.
I don’t boast when I say
That neither you nor
Breca ever were much
Celebrated for swordsmanship
Or for facing danger in the battlefield.
You killed your own kith and kin,
So for all your cleverness and quick tongue,
You will suffer damnation in the pits of hell.
The fact it, Unferth, if you were truly
590
As keen or courageous as you claim to be
Grendel would never have got away with
Such unchecked atrocity, attacks on your king,
Havoc in Heorot and horrors everywhere.
But he knows he need never be in dread
Of your blade making a mizzle
of his blood
Or of vengeance arriving ever from this quarter
---
From the Victory
-
Shieldings, the shoulderers of the spear.
He knows he can trample down you Danes
To his heart’s content, humiliate and murder
600
Without fear of reprisal.
But he will find me different.
I will show him how Geats shape to kill
In the heat of battle.
Then whoever wants to
May go bravely to morning mead, when morning light,
Scarfed in sun
-
dazzle, shines forth from the south
And brings another daybreak to the
world.”
Then the gray
-
haired treasure
-
giver was glad;
Far
-
famed in battle, the prince of Bright
-
Danes
And keeper of his people counted on Beowulf,
On the warrior’s steadfastness and his word.
610
So the laughter started, the din got
louder
And the crowd was happy.
Wealhtheow came in,
Hrothgar’s queen, observing the courtesies.
Adorned in her gold, she graciously saluted
The men in the hall, then handed the cup
First to Hrothgar, their homeland’s guardian,
Urging him to drink deep and
enjoy it,
Because he was dear to them.
And he drank it down
Like the warlord he was, with festive cheer.
So the Helming woman went on her rounds,
620
Queenly and dignified, decked out in rings,
Offering the goblet to all ranks,
Tre
ating the household and the assembled troop
Until it was Beowulf’s turn to take it from her hand.
With measured words she welcomed the Geat
And thanked God for granting her wish
That a deliverer she could believe in would arrive

To ease their afflictions.
He accepted the cup,
A daunting man, dangerous in action
And eager for it always.
He addressed Wealhtheow;
630
Beowulf, son of Ecgtheow, said:
“I had a fixed purpose when I put out to sea.
As I sat in the boat with my band of men,
I meant
to perform to the uttermost
What your people wanted or perish in the attempt,
In the fiend’s clutches.
And I shall fulfill that purpose,
Prove myself with a proud deed
Or meet my death here in the mead
-
hall.”
This formal boast by Beowulf the Geat
Pleased the lady well and she went to sit
640
By Hrothgar, regal and arrayed with gold.
Then it was like old times in the echoing hall,
Proud talk and the people happy,
Loud and excited; until soon enough
Halfdane’s heir had to be aw
ay
To his night’s rest.
He realized
That the demon was going to descend on the hall
That he had plotted all day, from dawn
-
light
Until darkness gathered again over the world
And stealthy night
-
shades came stealing forth
650
Under the cloud
-
murk.
The company stood
As the two leaders took leave of each other:
Hrothgar wished Beowulf health and good luck,
Named him hall
-
warden and announced as follows:
“Never, since my hand could hold a shield
Have I entrusted or given control
Of the Dane’s hall to
anyone but you.
Ward and guard it, for it is the greatest of houses.
Be on your mettle now, keep in mind your fame,
Beware of the enemy.
There’s nothing you wish for
660
That won’t be yours if you win through alive.”
Hrothgar
departed then with his house
-
guard.
The lord of the Shieldings, their shelter in war,
Left the mead
-
hall to lie with Wealhtheow,
His queen and bedmate.
The King of Glory
(as people learned) had posted a lookout
Who was a match for Grendel, a guard agains
t monsters,
Special protection to the Danish prince.
And the Geat placed complete trust
In his strength of limb and the Lord’s favor.
670
He began to remove his iron breast
-
mail,
Took off the helmet and handed his attendant
The patterned
sword, a smith’s masterpiece,
Ordering him to keep the equipment guarded.
And before he bedded down, Beowulf,
That prince of goodness, proudly asserted:
“When it comes to fighting, I count myself
As dangerous any day as Grendel.
So it won’t be a cutting ed
ge I’ll wield
To mow him down, easily as I might.
680
He has no ideas of the arts of war,
Of shield or sword
-
play, though he does possess
A wild strength.
No weapons, therefore,
For either this night: unarmed he shall face me
If face m
e he dares.
And may the Divine Lord
In His wisdom grant victory
To whichever side He sees fit.”
Then down the brave man lay with his bolster
Under his head and his whole company
Of sea
-
rovers at rest beside him.
690
None of
them expected he would ever see
His homeland again or get back
Had boldly fulfilled his boast to the Danes:
He had healed and relieved a huge distress,
Unremitting humiliations,
830
The hard fate they’d been forced to undergo,
No small
affliction. Clear proof of this
Could be seen in the hand the hero displayed
High up near the roof: the whole of Grendel’s
Shoulder and arm, his awesome grasp.
Then morning came and many a warrior
Gathered, as I have heard, around the gift
-
hall,
Clan
-
chie
fs flocking from far and near
Down wide
-
ranging roads, wondering greatly
At the monster’s footprint.
His fatal departure
840
Was regretted by no one who witnessed his trail,
The ignominious marks of his flight
Where he’d sulked away,
exhausted in spirit
And beaten in battle, bloodying the path,
Hauling his doom to the demons’ mere.
The bloodshot water wallowed and surged,
There were loathsome up throws and over turnings
Of waves and gore and would
-
slurry.
With his death upon him, he ha
d dived deep
Into his marsh den, drowned out his life
850
And his heathen soul: hell claimed him there.
Then away they rode, the old retainers
With many a young man following after,
A troop on horseback, in high spirits
On their bay
steeds.
Beowulf’s doings
Were praised over and over again.
Nowhere, they said, north or south
Between the two seas or under the tall sky
On the broad earth was there anyone better
To raise a shield or to rule a kingdom.

Huckleberry doesn't get out of the basement much...

All but a few.
How then could Finn
Hold the line
Or fight on
To the end with Hengest,
How save
The rump of his force
From that enemy chief?
So a truce was offered
As follows: first
Separate quarters
To be cleared for the Danes,
Hall and throne
To be shared with the Frisians.
Then, second ;
Every day
At the dole
-
out of gifts
Finn, son of Focwald,
Should honor the Danes,
1090
Bestow with an even
Hand to Hengest
And Hengest’s men
The wrought
-
gold rings,
Bounty to match
The measure he gave
His own Frisians
--
To keep morale
In the beer
-
hall high.
Both sides
then
Sealed their agreement.
With oaths to Hengest
Finn swore
Openly, solemnly,
That the battle survivors

Only 61 pages left.

This is a great story.

Maybe, but if I don't keep posting, you guys won't know how it ends.

You don't like Beowolf?

Everybody likes Beowolf.

Victor's the only guy who would have got them.

Talk to me in mid March when I do my taxes... if I get to keep more money, then I'll be winning.

If not...

HaHa
I originally posted one to one million places, but the format was screwed up.

So Bob, I like the Beowulf idea, but your audience might actually understand Green Eggs and Ham.

now I'm reminded why I hated 10th grade English. My teacher was a huge Beowulf fan, and it was required reading ... we discussed it ad nauseum for half the semester...same with Frost...Shakespeare got short shrift...

Even More!

Delingpole: It’s Over. Now Even Democrats Give up on ‘Climate Change’

Climate change’ just officially ceased being an important issue in U.S. politics.
President Trump didn’t mention it in his State of the Union address. But nor, much to the disgust of environmentalists – did the Democrats in their rebuttals.


A shocked Huffington Post has named and shamed the key Democrats who could have spoken out but didn’t:

In his speech, Rep. Joe Kennedy (D-Mass.) didn’t bring up global warming, sea-level rise or the surge in global greenhouse gas emissions, which threaten to become worse as the Republican White House ramps up fossil fuel production to unprecedented levels.



Even the State of the Union statement issued by Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.), considered one of the most hawkish Democrats on climate issues, snubbed climate change.

It was left to Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) to keep the faith:


“How can a president of the United States give a State of the Union speech and not mention climate change?” he said in his own rebuttal. “No, Mr. Trump, climate change is not a ‘hoax.’

“It is a reality which is causing devastating harm all over our country and all over the world, and you are dead wrong when you appoint administrators at the EPA and other agencies who are trying to decimate environmental protection rules and slow down the transition to sustainable energy.”

As a reminder how quickly things have changed, here’s an extract from President Obama’s 2015 State of the Union:




2014 was the planet’s warmest year on record. Now, one year doesn’t make a trend, but this does: 14 of the 15 warmest years on record have all fallen in the first 15 years of this century.
I’ve heard some folks try to dodge the evidence by saying they’re not scientists; that we don’t have enough information to act. Well, I’m not a scientist, either. But you know what, I know a lot of really good scientists at NASA, and at NOAA, and at our major universities. And the best scientists in the world are all telling us that our activities are changing the climate, and if we don’t act forcefully, we’ll continue to see rising oceans, longer, hotter heat waves, dangerous droughts and floods, and massive disruptions that can trigger greater migration and conflict and hunger around the globe. The Pentagon says that climate change poses immediate risks to our national security. We should act like it.

And here he is, banging that the same worn-out drum in his 2016 State of the Union:


Look, if anybody still wants to dispute the science around climate change, have at it. You’ll be pretty lonely, because you’ll be debating our military, most of America’s business leaders, the majority of the American people, almost the entire scientific community, and 200 nations around the world who agree it’s a problem and intend to solve it.

Finally, here is what the 2018 State of the Union had to say on climate change under a new president.

*crickets*

#Winning!

Jesus Christ, mid thread copy and pasting is the most annoying sh17 ever ... you guys suck.

Don't ever give up Spey, read a few books, do some research and work hard and you should be able to fix stupid!







Ahh...who am I kidding,

I know...right? ...and they slammed into a garbage truck, killing one of the poor garbage men (RIP) ... WINNING!!!







can't make this stuff up...give a couple of the GOP Senators some credit...they're doctors and they tried heroic measures to save the man's life, actually putting their hands on him, most likely a Dem voter...

wow... and people say I have a lack of morals.
Bravo... claiming victory at the death of people who will vote differently than yourself.... not sure I would have thought of that

You just kuck homeless people, they don't vote anyway so your morals are good.

kuck? hmmmm...after having anal, you kick 'em?