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Last post 5 years ago by victor809. 39 replies replies.
Sometimes Salami...
DrafterX Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
An Ohio grocery store employee is facing the possibility of felony theft charges for her daily snacking habit.

The unnamed employee worked in Bolivar at the grocery chain Giant Eagle for eight years – during that time authorities say she helped herself to three to five slices of ham every day, totaling $9,200 in lost revenue. Authorities say she would also sometimes eat salami.

The Associated Press reports that the store’s loss prevention manager received a tip that the employee had been eating the meat slices for years.

The woman is facing potential felony theft charges, however, Tuscarawas County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement on Facebook that “felony charges are unlikely.”


“While our office did take a report of the issue as requested by the store, no determination of charges has been made. The procedure is to send the report to the Prosecutor’s Office and they are the ones to decide.

“While my office does not have the authority to make the final decision in this case, I do feel confident that once all of the facts are relayed to the Prosecutor, Felony charges are unlikely,” the statement read before adding that no arrests and “no formal filing of charges” had happened.

Film at 11... Mellow
opelmanta1900 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
You think abrignac is the guy who tipped off loss prevention?
dstieger Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
doesn't seem to say that she was hiding the salami....why did Anthony just now narc her out...after 8 years?

over 9K? that's gotta be a couple pounds a week....seems like she's been putting away an awful lot of meat
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
That isn't too far from me. Funny stuff.
DrafterX Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
So if she gained 2 lbs a week for 8 years.. Think
victor809 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Looks maybe like they were estimating 2lb a week?

That's not insignificant....
opelmanta1900 Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
52 weeks in a year x 5 days a week = 260 days

260 days x 8 years = 2080 days

2080 days x 5 slices of ham = 10,400 slices of ham

10,400 x 25 grams (avg weight/slice) = 260,000 grams of ham

260,000 grams = 573.202 lbs of ham slices

This is not the mathematical calculation of a slender woman...
victor809 Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
So Opel... Your estimate is at about 1.4lb per week...
Interesting... You went from the weight/slice side... I was going estimating the cost/lb of meat.
Given that you got a lower number... That means they have a wildly overpriced salami.... I think I was estimating 12$/lb... Your calculations put it closer to 16$/lb
opelmanta1900 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Even 12 a pound is crazy for any kind of sliced pork product... Roast beef or corned beef maybe, but salami? 7.99 a pound tops...

Something smells fishy... and I don't think it's the seafood aisle...Think
opelmanta1900 Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
dstieger wrote:
doesn't seem to say that she was hiding the salami....why did Anthony just now narc her out...after 8 years?

Probably stiffed him on his (cold) cut...
DrafterX Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
What about da bread..?? Did she make sammiches..?? Huh
opelmanta1900 Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
No way man... She's on atkins... Slice of ham with a mayonnaise packet shooter... Lather, rinse, repeat... 5 times a day... Every day... #8yearsstrong and #gettingstronger...
opelmanta1900 Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
And you know first thing this morning she put on a wig and headed to the local krogers to apply for a job... No way she's going cold turkey on a 5 slice a day habit...
DrafterX Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
She prolly started out with a slice of pickle-loaf a day and it just got worse... Mellow
opelmanta1900 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
They say pickle loaf is a gateway meat...
DrafterX Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
I heard that too... Mellow
opelmanta1900 Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Silver lining, they got her before she was mixed up into pastrami... or imported cheeses...
victor809 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
I've been telling women my meat is the gateway salami....
victor809 Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Not sure what it's a gateway to tho....

RMAN4443 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
opelmanta1900 wrote:
Even 12 a pound is crazy for any kind of sliced pork product... Roast beef or corned beef maybe, but salami? 7.99 a pound tops...

Something smells fishy... and I don't think it's the seafood aisle...Think

Could be the salami after she was done with it....d'oh!
Whistlebritches Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
victor809 wrote:
I've been telling women my meat is the gateway salami....


Funny Vic.........I've always thought your anus was the gateway
victor809 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Maybe for you...

Apparently you put a lot of thought into my anus, and seem to think it would be a gateway to some sort of transformation for you.


Sounds like you've got some issues you need to work through.
bgz Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
I calculated around $4.50 per day.

They would have to be some pretty thick slices of ham to add up to $4.50 per day.

($9200 / 8 years) / (~250 -> 260 work days / year) => ~$4.5 per day... probably closer to 240 days per year because all that ham, you know she called in sick a bunch.


Probably less than $1500 worth of ham over 8 years IMO for normal human sized slices.

Just scrolled up and read opels... similar to mine.
Whistlebritches Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
victor809 wrote:
Maybe for you...

Apparently you put a lot of thought into my anus, and seem to think it would be a gateway to some sort of transformation for you.


Sounds like you've got some issues you need to work through.


Wink Wink

JadeRose Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
It ain't gay unless the balls touch. That's what Teedubbya told me
DrafterX Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
Mellow
Mr. Jones Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,421
Maybe....

That idiot store "loss prevention" moron oughta' figure out how much the store LOSES IN:

PEOPLES TASTING GRAPES....

I NEVER E.V.E.R. BUY ANY COLOR GRAPES
WITHOUT EATING ONE FIRST...
TIMES THAT BY 50 PEOPLE PER DAY...
X 7 DAYS A WEEK...
X 52 WEEKS A YEAR...
frankj1 Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,221
X pesticide and urine from the pickers and packers...
DrafterX Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
Poor MrJones... Sad
victor809 Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
It's ok... Mr Jones likes picker and packer urine.
opelmanta1900 Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Does Mr Jones buy "non-color" grapes without tasting? Also, I believe it's grapes of color, not color grapes...
RMAN4443 Offline
#32 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
opelmanta1900 wrote:
Does Mr Jones buy "non-color" grapes without tasting? Also, I believe it's grapes of color, not color grapes...

Has anyone checked with Butthead,er Huck, what the color grapes want to be called...it's up to them ya know...Anxious
DrafterX Offline
#33 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
Screw the grapes... Not talking
frankj1 Offline
#34 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,221
DrafterX wrote:
Screw the grapes... Not talking

ok, but could ya peel them first?
opelmanta1900 Offline
#35 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
That's the worst solution to racism I've ever heard...
dstieger Offline
#36 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
lol....or, to paraphrase Lee/Lifeson/Peart:

And the races were all kept equal
By hatchet, ax....and vegetable peeler
frankj1 Offline
#37 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,221
beauty is only skin deep
DrafterX Offline
#38 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,548
Not true.. Not talking
victor809 Offline
#39 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
I heard drafter can screw a grape without popping it.
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