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Last post 5 years ago by jespear. 17 replies replies.
A Bear Walks Into a Bar
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Gene363 Offline
#1 Posted: Sat, Oct 20 2018, 9:53 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,781
A bear walks into a Bar.

The bartender says, What'll you have?

The bear says, "I'll have a Gin........................................................................ and tonic please."

The bartender says, "Sure, but what with the big pause?"

The bear says, "I was born with them."
bassman45 Offline
#2 Posted: Sun, Oct 21 2018, 9:21 AM EST
Joined: 07-05-2009
Posts: 4,087
d'oh! lol
Burner02 Offline
#3 Posted: Sun, Oct 21 2018, 10:28 AM EST
Joined: 12-21-2010
Posts: 12,876
Hah!
Brewha Offline
#4 Posted: Sun, Oct 21 2018, 10:38 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2010
Posts: 12,161
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says;
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw”
Gene363 Offline
#5 Posted: Sun, Oct 21 2018, 10:40 AM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,781
Brewha wrote:
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says;
“I’m looking for the man who shot my paw”


Applause
SteveS Offline
#6 Posted: Mon, Oct 22 2018, 2:29 PM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
A bear and a rabbit are taking a (dump) in the woods.
The bear asks the rabbit "ever have trouble with (stuff) sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit says "nope".
The bear reaches over, grabs the rabbit and uses it to wipe himself with.
tailgater Offline
#7 Posted: Mon, Oct 22 2018, 3:01 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend’s kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
tailgater Offline
#8 Posted: Mon, Oct 22 2018, 3:03 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
It seems every time I went to the zoo I found the bear in a different mood. One day angry, the next day sad. Didn't matter the weather or the time of day. So I asked the zoo keeper.
Seems it was a bi-polar bear.
Speyside Offline
#9 Posted: Tue, Oct 23 2018, 5:06 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
These jokes are unbearable.
Brewha Offline
#10 Posted: Tue, Oct 23 2018, 5:22 PM EST
Joined: 01-25-2010
Posts: 12,161
Ok - so...a dyslexic walks into a bra....
frankj1 Offline
#11 Posted: Tue, Oct 23 2018, 7:07 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
and then there was the dyslexic rabbi who kept saying "Yo".
Brewha Offline
#12 Posted: Tue, Oct 23 2018, 7:36 PM EST
Joined: 01-25-2010
Posts: 12,161
A giraffe walks into a bar and says;
“Hey everybody! The highballs are on me!”
frankj1 Offline
#13 Posted: Tue, Oct 23 2018, 7:45 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
did you hear about the magician who was walking down the street and turned into a bar?
Brewha Offline
#14 Posted: Tue, Oct 23 2018, 8:01 PM EST
Joined: 01-25-2010
Posts: 12,161
A ham sammich walks into a bar, and the bartender says;
“Sorry, we don’t serve food here”.
tailgater Offline
#15 Posted: Wed, Oct 24 2018, 8:50 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Two guys walk into a bar.
You'd think the second guy would have seen it.
tailgater Offline
#16 Posted: Wed, Oct 24 2018, 8:53 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
A string walks into a bar and the bartender tells him "we don't serve strings here"
So he walks in the next day looking all disheveled and the bartenders says "aren't you the same string I threw out of here yesterday?"
To which he replies: "No, I'm afraid not"
jespear Offline
#17 Posted: Wed, Oct 24 2018, 9:23 AM EST
Joined: 03-19-2004
Posts: 9,464
Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist ?
He reads lips !
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