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Last post 3 days ago by Palama. 419 replies replies.
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Alternative secret Santa
frankj1 Offline
#201 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 42,693
Ewok126 wrote:
Me and my neighbor just finished off the last of what I had about 3 weeks ago. You probably have the last in existence brother.Beer


the price of mine just went waaaaay up!
Ewok126 Offline
#202 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
frankj1 wrote:
the price of mine just went waaaaay up!


Ha, Sip it slowly brother. With the new grain company and the time its going to take to ferment, not to mention the time in the barrels it might be a while before I have more. Drool
kombat96 Offline
#203 Posted:
Joined: 04-12-2010
Posts: 9,717
I still have a bottle. Will trade for, nah I'll need this it's going to be a cold winter.
Ewok126 Offline
#204 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
kombat96 wrote:
I still have a bottle. Will trade for, nah I'll need this it's going to be a cold winter.



Yeah it is hard to go through even a sample bottle when all you are doing is dipping the tip of lanceros in it.

I would suggest going to a larger ring gauge. Blink Blink BigGrin
RMAN4443 Offline
#205 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Well, My A.S.S. is at it again...I just went to go to the store for milk and found another Box and a Shipping envelope from Amazon...I don't know when it arrived-I was to wrapped up in the Patriots choking on a Big Fat...but that's not important right now....
Anyway, I opened up the box first and inside I found a...

Handy set of fine cutlery adorned with the delightfully whimsical characters from the enchanting Disney film-Cars
It's a fork and spoon which should make it easy to get food from plate to mouth without the mess I usually make with the two sticks an old Oriental fellow left me in his will several years ago(have you ever tried to eat with sticks?)These are gonna be GREAT!!

A six pack of multiple colors, glittery Play Doh and a Butterfly and a Heart cutter molds....I don't know how he knew, but it was just what I wanted(I didn't even know I wanted it until I saw it, but it's probably the most beautiful Play Doh set I've ever seen....and I've seen a lot of them!)

In the envelope was a pink pouch closed up with a fancy hand tied ribbon, and a card.....The card said do not open until after you open your gift, .so you don't ruin the surprise. So I untied the pretty pink ribbon, and inside the pouch was a "Velvet Touch" hairbrush....This really confused me because, well, truth be told, I'm just a little bald(is that a thing? Then I realized it was probably meant to use in the shower, on my sensitive areas....Velvet Touch, sensitive areas...makes perfect sense to me now
Then I opened the envelope and the message said, Hi Rick, Enjoy your gift! More to Come!.....From your Sexy cbid Santa!

Oh Yeah, I forgot to mention there was another gift in the box...

A box of 16 individually wrapped Summers Eve Simply Sensitive Cleansing Cloths....needless to say, I had a hard time following the logic behind this gift, but then I read the packaging and I immediately understood the thought and care given to this gift...
Apparently, these offer 5 in 1 cleansing benefits...
1) Gently freshens and cleanses.....has someone been talking?...I can't help it, it's my glands

2)Removes odor causing bacteria....this is helpful, but it's my glands

3)Helps maintain a constant Ph....you have no idea how helpful this can be...my Ph is all Phucked up

4)Free from dyes and parabens.....I never had anyone care enough about me to limit my paraben use

5)Clinically tested Fresh Scents...sounds nice, but I thought Santa was a Clean Meadow Scent type of guy
Sorry this was so long winded, but my A.S.S. took such good care of me I didn't want to leave anything out...

P.S.....way down deep , I'm a little scaredAnxious

corey sellers Offline
#206 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
Well I am tears now this is good this Santa has really outdid my expectations trying to smoke a psd 4 and watch the cowboys and eagles and can't stop laughing watch your back door Rick looks like he wants it clean
corey sellers Offline
#207 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
And no ZRX is not Involved in this
frankj1 Offline
#208 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 42,693
or she wants it clean
corey sellers Offline
#209 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
Sounds like he ought to have enough to get it clean now
RMAN4443 Offline
#210 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
I keep telling you guys ....It's a gland problem...Anxious
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#211 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,672
My boxes are locked and loaded. Just awaiting the firing codes. The box for this one, plus the other cbid SS plus my C2 SS. About 120 cigars, plus a bunch of random goodies. Ready for some destruction.

I have a pretty easy clue in my A.S.S. But you will know by a bunch of OR stuff that you can’t find anymore. Total holiday destruction!!!

Enjoy the destruction, fools!

I am seriously pumped to hit my target. I have been wanting to hit him since I joined this group. #ShockAndAwe biateches.
lance4824 Offline
#212 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2018
Posts: 653
Hank you should be a politician the way you brag on yourself.
stinger88 Online
#213 Posted:
Joined: 05-29-2012
Posts: 6,434
^^ Ahhhh, the confidence of youth.

Tomorrow I pick up my final item, then I need to find a box to fit the ammunition.

Latest mine will go out....Wednesday.

Looking forward to the recipient’s reaction. Hopefully there will be at least a good cigar or two that he likes in it.
Ewok126 Offline
#214 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
lance4824 wrote:
Hank you should be a politician the way you brag on yourself.



LOL welcome to Cbid Lance! I am just waiting to see on the news where some random dude has been ringing the military's phone off the hook telling them how many cigars he sent to the troops and how horny he was to do it. Not to mention how he feels that he had done so much destruction to the base. Then to tell them that he had actually done more destruction to other bases as well and they can tell because he used a weapon from the 1940s. Oh an that he stuck the ammo up his ass before he sent it so they can tell it was him indeed. There only defense is to either ignore the person or make a big deal out of it and make a movie about it so he will quit calling. I just hope he don't do no name dropping on who his partner in crime was. We have all seen how that can come back to haunt that person years later. I mean look at the Clinton's and Obama's Brick wall
NWStogie Offline
#215 Posted:
Joined: 07-25-2016
Posts: 736
It was a few days before A.S.S. shipping,
And all around NWStogie’s block,
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a nocturnal Ewok.

All the swag has been purchased,
And the cigars picked out,
When the wife handed me her wish list,
It was with a small pout.

Fortunately, she knows me well,
I’m just up to my usual shenanigans.
She, too, likes to share similar Xmas cheer,
With her coworkers and friends.

Now the cogitation begins,
As I pull out all the stops,
Figuring out how to pack everything up,
Into a single shipping box.

After the game smoky Tetris is complete,
Only one thing will remain,
Requiring some creativity,
And most of my brain.

A clue for my target,
Will be all that is left.
I will try to be clever,
Using words that are deft.

Then off to FedEx,
The Post Office or UPS.
To ship this A.S.S.-shenanigan package,
And get some (hopefully) well-deserved rest.

My thanks to my CBid brothers and sisters,
For another great, smoky year.
You’re a fine bunch of azzhats to chat with,
Me, over coffee, and you, over beer.
(Some of you, LOTS of beer.)

~Mattster
frankj1 Offline
#216 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 42,693
Hey Mattster-
ur purdy good wif words!
RMAN4443 Offline
#217 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
I'll say....I had to pull out the Richard nary and look up cogitation
on the plus side ,I know a new wordApplause
NWStogie Offline
#218 Posted:
Joined: 07-25-2016
Posts: 736
Thx, Frank! (I tried, but couldn’t weave in a reference to the Thonginator.)

Rman: You pulled out your Richard? How did that go for you? 😉
NWStogie Offline
#219 Posted:
Joined: 07-25-2016
Posts: 736
You wanna hear some REAL purdy words? Watch the first vignette in Netflix’s The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. Them’s some right clever oratory exchangin’.

Rman: I just got it. Quite clever wordplay, my friend.
corey sellers Offline
#220 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
Applause

Very good Nwstogie
RMAN4443 Offline
#221 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
ok, another day another delivery from Amazon....today I received a Two Bottle Value Pack of Lysol Power Toilet bowl cleaner with !0X Cleaning Power....I'm so happy, I think this might finally help rid me of those pesky stuck on remnants of that last Baked Bean Supper and those hard to remove chunks of...well, you know what kind of stuck on chunks I'm talking about.Full of crap
These bottles are FANTASTIC!!! They have the angled nozzle so I can finally get up under the rim to remove any stubborn debris stuck up under there...I bet when I finish, my toilet bowl will be so clean I could eat from it.Sipping tea
The box contained the same message from my Sexy CBID Santa, so all I can say is Thank You so much Sexy CBID Santa!!

Your The Bestestest Sexy CBID Santa EVAH!!!!!!!!!Applause
corey sellers Offline
#222 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
Applause

Sounds like Santa wants everything clean

stinger88 Online
#223 Posted:
Joined: 05-29-2012
Posts: 6,434
I can’t wait to see how this turns out.
lance4824 Offline
#224 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2018
Posts: 653
Ewok126 wrote:
LOL welcome to Cbid Lance! I am just waiting to see on the news where some random dude has been ringing the military's phone off the hook telling them how many cigars he sent to the troops and how horny he was to do it. Not to mention how he feels that he had done so much destruction to the base. Then to tell them that he had actually done more destruction to other bases as well and they can tell because he used a weapon from the 1940s. Oh an that he stuck the ammo up his ass before he sent it so they can tell it was him indeed. There only defense is to either ignore the person or make a big deal out of it and make a movie about it so he will quit calling. I just hope he don't do no name dropping on who his partner in crime was. We have all seen how that can come back to haunt that person years later. I mean look at the Clinton's and Obama's Brick wall


Amazing.....Applause
lance4824 Offline
#225 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2018
Posts: 653
RMAN4443 wrote:
ok, another day another delivery from Amazon....today I received a Two Bottle Value Pack of Lysol Power Toilet bowl cleaner with !0X Cleaning Power....I'm so happy, I think this might finally help rid me of those pesky stuck on remnants of that last Baked Bean Supper and those hard to remove chunks of...well, you know what kind of stuck on chunks I'm talking about.Full of crap
These bottles are FANTASTIC!!! They have the angled nozzle so I can finally get up under the rim to remove any stubborn debris stuck up under there...I bet when I finish, my toilet bowl will be so clean I could eat from it.Sipping tea
The box contained the same message from my Sexy CBID Santa, so all I can say is Thank You so much Sexy CBID Santa!!

Your The Bestestest Sexy CBID Santa EVAH!!!!!!!!!Applause


I am confused... why is someone sending all this extra stuff.
corey sellers Offline
#226 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
They are getting ready for a visit they want the toilet clean the ass clean and something to play with make sense now
Ewok126 Offline
#227 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
lance4824 wrote:
I am confused... why is someone sending all this extra stuff.



I am thinking that maybe his santa has just recently signed up with the LGBT community and is now looking for recruits? Think
csgamecock Offline
#228 Posted:
Joined: 05-08-2012
Posts: 2,387
lance4824 wrote:
I am confused... why is someone sending all this extra stuff.


LMAO......... You mean you're in the military and you don't recognize psychological warfare?

AKA He's f*cking with him Lance
Whistlebritches Offline
#229 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 21,814
RMAN4443 wrote:
ok, another day another delivery from Amazon....today I received a Two Bottle Value Pack of Lysol Power Toilet bowl cleaner with !0X Cleaning Power....I'm so happy, I think this might finally help rid me of those pesky stuck on remnants of that last Baked Bean Supper and those hard to remove chunks of...well, you know what kind of stuck on chunks I'm talking about.Full of crap
These bottles are FANTASTIC!!! They have the angled nozzle so I can finally get up under the rim to remove any stubborn debris stuck up under there...I bet when I finish, my toilet bowl will be so clean I could eat from it.Sipping tea
The box contained the same message from my Sexy CBID Santa, so all I can say is Thank You so much Sexy CBID Santa!!

Your The Bestestest Sexy CBID Santa EVAH!!!!!!!!!Applause


If I didn't know better I'd say this was "desolbones"..........this is some classic Greg stuff he pulled back in the day.I was the recipient of a couple..........still LMAO every time I think about it.Think I'll call Greg and ask if maybe he is the one **** ing with you.
corey sellers Offline
#230 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
Hell I think he is coming for a visit and just wants to make sure everything is clean for him
corey sellers Offline
#231 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
This is why I did this to see this kind of stuff

Get ready Rick looks like he is coming to stay awhile
frankj1 Offline
#232 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 42,693
Alternative Lifestyle Santa?
RMAN4443 Offline
#233 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
My Sexy CBID A.S.S.whip
Phil222 Offline
#234 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2017
Posts: 1,911
lance4824 wrote:
I am confused... why is someone sending all this extra stuff.

The psychological profile of this Santa is a dark one, and I would rather not go down this hole (pun intended), but here it goes....

The PG version is that Santa is currently attempting to serenade Rick with the prime efficiency of two day shipping, and the soothing smells of clean meadows. The packing lists lead me to believe that Santa is planning on coming more than once this year, if you catch my drift.

My guess is that Santa enjoys Rick playing hard to get, and I’m certain that I don’t wanna know how this courtship is gonna end.
RMAN4443 Offline
#235 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Phil222 wrote:
The psychological profile of this Santa is a dark one, and I would rather not go down this hole (pun intended), but here it goes....

The PG version is that Santa is currently attempting to serenade Rick with the prime efficiency of two day shipping, and the soothing smells of clean meadows. The packing lists lead me to believe that Santa is planning on coming more than once this year, if you catch my drift.

My guess is that Santa enjoys Rick playing hard to get, and I’m certain that I don’t wanna know how this courtship is gonna end.

me either, but I am a little curious...that may not be the right word hereAnxious Think

how many times do you think Santa will come Phil? I hope he never stops coming and bringing me presents....Applause
Phil222 Offline
#236 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2017
Posts: 1,911
Your Santa makes me laugh, Rick. My advice to you is forget the chimney and keep an eye on your backdoor. Bwahahahahaha!
RMAN4443 Offline
#237 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Phil222 wrote:
Your Santa makes me laugh, Rick. My advice to you is forget the chimney and keep an eye on your backdoor. Bwahahahahaha!

Good advice ThumpUp
stinger88 Online
#238 Posted:
Joined: 05-29-2012
Posts: 6,434
Bombs away.
RMAN4443 Offline
#239 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Well, another package arrived from Amazon today...it contained the same note from my Sexy CBID Santa...
It also contained a very stylish red and green striped hat, like an elves or a Santa type stocking style hat, with a little pom-pom... It also has "Santa's Little Helper" marked on the forehead area...
While I'm very excited to wear this hat this weekend when I "don my gay apparel" and get out and mingle with some peoples, I am a little disappointed that it wasn't marked "CBID Sexy A.S.S. Helper"....I think everyone I came into contact with would be so jealous of my Sexy A.S.S. hat...I think everyone should have a sexy A.S.S. Santa...
Again, Thank you so much Sexy A.S.S. Santa, you have definitely helped to "make my season bright"...even if Corey and Phil seem to think you just want to "Deck My Halls with Balls..." well,you know how the song goes Applause
Phil222 Offline
#240 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2017
Posts: 1,911
Applause BigGrin
stinger88 Online
#241 Posted:
Joined: 05-29-2012
Posts: 6,434
To whomever is my A.S.S., if you haven’t already shipped, can you hold off so that it gets here no earlier than next Thursday. Going out of town for a few days and don’t want stuff swiped from my front porch. I will have my neighbors keep an eye out but might not be reliable.

Thanks
David
corey sellers Offline
#242 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
That's good Rick he does have address down pretty good just remember to lock all the doors and keep a fire burning if you have a fireplace lmao
Whistlebritches Offline
#243 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 21,814
Coordinates locked........Missile Away
corey sellers Offline
#244 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 9,307
Alot of packages headed out
Mandobro Offline
#245 Posted:
Joined: 04-10-2013
Posts: 712
corey sellers wrote:
Alot of packages headed out

Guess I'll have to get mine out soon
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#246 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,672
Ready for more of these to land!!!
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#247 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,672
Well, mine was supposed to land today but it seems usps sucks. Hope it lands tomorrow.
ypetryna Offline
#248 Posted:
Joined: 07-19-2012
Posts: 1,323
To whoever my A.S.S. is, thanks for personal anal lube I guess? I mean seriously hilarious, as I was waiting on a fishing reel that was supposed to be delivered today. But I guess the lube was postal service tell me to GFM.

Funny as hell, with a side of creepy. Well played, well played
stinger88 Online
#249 Posted:
Joined: 05-29-2012
Posts: 6,434
Mine was supposed to land today too. Guess it is 3 days during the holidays.
RMAN4443 Offline
#250 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
ypetryna wrote:
To whoever my A.S.S. is, thanks for personal anal lube I guess? I mean seriously hilarious, as I was waiting on a fishing reel that was supposed to be delivered today. But I guess the lube was postal service tell me to GFM.

Funny as hell, with a side of creepy. Well played, well played

What flavor was it???Anxious
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