Joined: 04-15-2004 Posts: 12,251 |
Thursday Morning Jokes The other day I was having sex with this married woman when her husband came home early.
She told me I’d have to use the back door and said I’d have to be quick.
I probably should have just left, but it’s not every day you get an offer like that.My wife. phoned me from work earlier.
She said three of her colleagues had received bouquets of flowers.
She said they were all gorgeous.
"Well then," I said, “that's probably why they got flowers.”A man is sitting in a bar looking sad....
The bartender asks, “Why are you so down?”
Man replies, “Well, no girls will talk to me because I have this wooden eye and it freaks them out.”
Bartender thinks for a moment, “See that cute girl sitting at the end of the bar? She used to be a professional dancer until a car accident took part of her leg and has a prosthetic. She still loves to dance but no one ever asks. Send her a drink.“
The man agrees and sends her a drink.
She smiles at him and waves him over.
The man nervously approaches her and says, “I hear you like to dance?”
She excitedly responds, “Would I!? Would I?!”
The man yells back “PEG LEG! PEG LEG!” and storms out of the bar.A snail was standing at the corner waiting to cross the street. He heard two turtles coming down the street from the opposite direction. They both ran their stop sign and crashed at the intersection. The police responded and when the officer arrived he saw all the turtle parts strewn about the road. Looking around he saw the little snail standing at the corner. He walked over and looking down he asked the snail if he saw the accident happen. The little snail looked up at the officer and said, ”No officer, it happened so fast!” Have a good one. 
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