America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
first, best, biggest!

Last post 3 years ago by SirKnight. 25 replies replies.
Alzheimer’s and COVID-19
SirKnight Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 12-19-2018
Posts: 605
A loved one has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s (Mother) and any treatment is on hold due to the Corona virus running rampant through our country. Time will tell if this will steamroll the progression of her condition or not but the timing really bites as doctors are not seeing patients at this time.

I enjoy the forum as a much needed respite, thanks to all who post.

Thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
frankj1 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
getting close to that situation here as well.
and I also use this place as a therapeutic respite

good luck.
SirKnight Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 12-19-2018
Posts: 605
frankj1 wrote:
getting close to that situation here as well.
and I also use this place as a therapeutic respite

good luck.



Thanks Frank. Start now, longer you wait the trickier it becomes with them.
opelmanta1900 Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
prayers for the both of ya...
corey sellers Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 10,339
Thoughts and prayers headed your way fella's
victor809 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Not much you can do for alzheimers. Get her on the meds if you can still get a prescription. They're supposed to slow the progress, I think it works a little.

My recommendation is to avoid the "Memory Care Homes".... I have a serious dislike for them from my experience. As always other's experiences may vary but this was what I noted:
1 - Some employee at the care facility stole her necklace and rings off her fingers (only left a couple rings which couldn't be removed)
2 - We had to hire our own people to come in (we hired 2, one for morning to get her dressed and fed, one for evening to feed her dinner and put her to bed) and help, because the minimal staff could not be counted on to get her up, dressed and whatnot and fed. She simply was not a priority
3 - Our staff would come in and find her left in the lunch room, sitting in front of a lunch she couldn't eat, after everyone had left

All this wonderful service for $12k a month or so.... then a couple k more for our own staff. Now there's the added bonus of pandemics.

If I had to make the decision again, I would have just rented a 2br apartment and hired 3 care workers to trade 3 shifts. Would have been cheaper and gotten her more 1:1 care.
SirKnight Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 12-19-2018
Posts: 605
Wow, hat is something, I hesitate on the memory care places. Can’t get her in to get a script right now and I have heard the meds work for a time. With all the Corona virus shut down I fear a downward spiral that will be faster than what it could have been.
SirKnight Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 12-19-2018
Posts: 605
Thanks everyone
delta1 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
best of wishes to you ...and also to Frank...

luckily my Mom didn't have serious dementia, but her physical and mental capacity diminished after every stroke she suffered...not much left in the last year, and we kids now regret our final decision to subject her to the last surgical procedure to relieve pressure in her brain...we shoulda let her go in peace...(RIP Mom)
frankj1 Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
we aren't fully into it but it's coming on quicker lately. I had done a tremendous amount of legwork and vetting of facilities (she'd still assess at assisted living with some memory care help) in recent years, all for naught as now I'd be dropping her at the door and not be allowed to visit...plus meals alone in a strange new room.

Victor, we are paying $395 for 24 hour live in person from an agency (change every 5 to 7 days) I had also deeply checked into in recent months, instead of $32/hour for each 12 hour shift.
Prior to falling and then pneumonia one month ago, she lived alone with a few visits and support from me along with some hours and help every week from her nicely funded and well run home city (Newton, MA...check it out).

That costs considerably more than the best facility around, including the better Hebrew Senior Life locations in the area.

The irony is we will soon need to sell her condo (it's in a Life Estate but that money is hers as far as I'm concerned) to afford the live in help...Catch 22 I guess.
Having a bank VP look into massively extending the limit on a small HELOC we took out 10 years ago, and then finding out how to have me be allowed to make out the draw checks...I have a durable P.O.A.

SirKnight, just realized I hijacked your thread, so if you have stuff you haven't explored yet, feel free to see if I have already looked into any of it.
Quick question...was your father a Veteran, is he alive, and if not have you worked with the VA about $$$ for her for elder care services through Aid in Attendance?
teedubbya Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Prayers from me to moth of you and your mothers.

We had a nursing home person take stuff from my grandma too. Even went as far as to take my Grandmas keys to her vacant home and took stuff... including an old Ruger my grandpa brought back from the war.

Not being a downer but she and you can be vulnerable at this time and it’s easy to be duped. Wish people were all kinder and gentler. I still believe most are.
frankj1 Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
yeah, heard theft reports about several agencies. went with one that other friends had used without incident, but ya never know. at least it has not been a merry-go-round of caretakers, the same two splitting up the week so far.
and I already moved "valuables" to my house that my sister packed up months ago when she was visiting.
delta1 Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
another boogeyman lurks...senior assisted living facilities have been major vectors of the corona virus in So Cal...was the epicenter of the Seattle outbreak
frankj1 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
hence the costlier in-home care for us
SirKnight Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 12-19-2018
Posts: 605
Frank, everyone’s input and insight is welcome. Also anyone needing to vent about this is welcome. Lawyers are today, all being done by teleconference.
I am assuming 395 was per day at least that is the going rate around her area.
jjanecka Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Good luck guys. With whatever circumstances everyone is dealing with right now. Especially those who are dealing with tough things and haven't told any of us here on the forum. Y'all are all in my prayers.
Mr. Jones Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,359
I know everything you are going through
IN FREAKIN' SPADES...

I took care of my mother for 4 years, now she's in a home since Nov. 2014, regular unit till April 2017...now memory unit ...

A worker on the memory unit is off and Quarantine-ning
Test results today...

My mom got pink eye on Monday...some think pink eye is a precursor to the COVID 19.

Since 2014 she has spent $378,000....my dad's and her entire life savings ( no inheirtance for us, 100%went to the home)..she had wonderful top notch care...no complaints.

But now they want the house and cabin...F**K THAT NOISE...WE HIRED A LAWYER...F**KING MONEY HUNGRY VULTURES...

Just think how many times some MILLIONAIRE couples signed over everything and they died within less than two years? Happens all the time ...and they are sitting on millions and millions of pure profit from early death and those one sided contracts...now they want my MOMS house and my MOMS cabin?

They can go F**K THEMSELVES , I AINT ROLLING OVER AND GETTING AZZ REAMED AGAIN...

THE FBI-SSG GANGSTALKED ME FOR 5+ YEARS, TRIED TO KILL ME OVER 9 TIMES ANNNNDDD STOLE A
$MILLION+ IN CASH FROM MY HUT...

I AM TIRED OF GETTING F**KED...
NO MORE.
victor809 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
frankj1 wrote:
we aren't fully into it but it's coming on quicker lately. I had done a tremendous amount of legwork and vetting of facilities (she'd still assess at assisted living with some memory care help) in recent years, all for naught as now I'd be dropping her at the door and not be allowed to visit...plus meals alone in a strange new room.

Victor, we are paying $395 for 24 hour live in person from an agency (change every 5 to 7 days) I had also deeply checked into in recent months, instead of $32/hour for each 12 hour shift.
Prior to falling and then pneumonia one month ago, she lived alone with a few visits and support from me along with some hours and help every week from her nicely funded and well run home city (Newton, MA...check it out).

That costs considerably more than the best facility around, including the better Hebrew Senior Life locations in the area.

The irony is we will soon need to sell her condo (it's in a Life Estate but that money is hers as far as I'm concerned) to afford the live in help...Catch 22 I guess.
Having a bank VP look into massively extending the limit on a small HELOC we took out 10 years ago, and then finding out how to have me be allowed to make out the draw checks...I have a durable P.O.A.

Yeah... it is going to get expensive for 24 hr care.
Have you looked into live-in care? Decades ago in WI, I used to drink with some crazy Eastern Europeans... they all worked for a "live in care" company one of them had created. Some were legal, some illegal, some even had nursing degrees from their countries... hell, crazy alcoholic lithuanian I knew was a medic in the red army in his youth.

Essentially they move in with the person, live there 24/7. The contract sets up an evening a week they get off and the family comes over (or hires someone else)....

Some of these guys were really conscientious.

Anyway... none of this is easy.

One thing to consider however, is that if you choose one of those Memory homes, if your mother's condition worsens to the point that they cannot advocate for themselves (ie speak coherently) and/or cannot move for themselves, it becomes very worthwhile to hire an outside person/persons to be there a number of hours a day. As with any daycare the "squeaky wheel" gets attention. Which means important things can be overlooked if they cannot be the squeaky wheel. It helps to have someone there who is solely responsible for your mother's health if they can't get what they need.
tonygraz Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
I have depressing memories of my mother's experience. Good luck to anyone in that situation. My mom was hospitalized during that time and the hospital told me they would not release her until the bill was paid in full. I told them that I guessed they would have to keep her then. They released her. It was a very trying time.
frankj1 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
victor809 wrote:
Yeah... it is going to get expensive for 24 hr care.
Have you looked into live-in care? Decades ago in WI, I used to drink with some crazy Eastern Europeans... they all worked for a "live in care" company one of them had created. Some were legal, some illegal, some even had nursing degrees from their countries... hell, crazy alcoholic lithuanian I knew was a medic in the red army in his youth.

Essentially they move in with the person, live there 24/7. The contract sets up an evening a week they get off and the family comes over (or hires someone else)....

Some of these guys were really conscientious.

Anyway... none of this is easy.

One thing to consider however, is that if you choose one of those Memory homes, if your mother's condition worsens to the point that they cannot advocate for themselves (ie speak coherently) and/or cannot move for themselves, it becomes very worthwhile to hire an outside person/persons to be there a number of hours a day. As with any daycare the "squeaky wheel" gets attention. Which means important things can be overlooked if they cannot be the squeaky wheel. It helps to have someone there who is solely responsible for your mother's health if they can't get what they need.

yes, we are using live-in care now ($395/day) through an agency.

I can get her into a high end assisted/memory joint for $250/day with meals, laundry, housekeeping etc...but the virus would mean move her to a strange place and basically sequester her in the new apartment without visitors or socializing.
I'd hate myself for a long time after that...

15 years ago when my father spent his last 6 months in a hospital bed in the living room (CHF), we stumbled across a little network of Ugandans who were not working for a pimp/agency and the hourly rate was significantly lower than an agency. Each of them had some level of licensing (I don't speak nursing) that even allowed them to give him medicines and injections, some supplied by a Hospice agency. Unfortunately those Ugandans only take jobs for terminally ill patients and my mother is in reasonably good physical health.

It seems the live-in care workers from this current agency are mostly from Kenya.
victor809 Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Ah gotcha, didn't fully understand what you were referencing earlier.
Is the live-in care then at her current place?
frankj1 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
victor809 wrote:
Ah gotcha, didn't fully understand what you were referencing earlier.
Is the live-in care then at her current place?

yes, she has a big two bed 2 full bath condo.
would be quite a step down in even the finest facility.
eventually she'll have to go because we will have to sell her place to pay for further care of any quality that would include dignity as well.
for many reasons, we are not able to have her here with us even with a caretaker.
victor809 Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
frankj1 wrote:

for many reasons, we are not able to have her here with us even with a caretaker.

Understandable. When my mother deteriorated my father couldn't even have her living there, it was literally killing him from lack of sleep and stress. Even with a caretaker staying at the house from morning to 7 or 8pm.
frankj1 Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
victor809 wrote:
Understandable. When my mother deteriorated my father couldn't even have her living there, it was literally killing him from lack of sleep and stress. Even with a caretaker staying at the house from morning to 7 or 8pm.

yeah, very few are fortunate enough to slip away softly.
SirKnight Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 12-19-2018
Posts: 605
It a horrid disease for sure, getting paperwork drawn up for what’s coming down the road. Hopefully this virus will break soon so she can see the doctor. I don’t like stepping on the second amendment but one fear is her and her handgun. With it no one will come in as far as assisted living. I’m sorry to hear bout the rest of you and I’ll keep you guys in my prayers as well.
Users browsing this topic
Guest