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Last post 22 months ago by Sunoverbeach. 20 replies replies.
cigars and the spouse
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aberdeen Offline
#1 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 4:43 PM EST
Joined: 06-11-1999
Posts: 741
Pardon me if I refer to wives, as I am quite aware the the lady smokers could be under the same gun with their husbands, just substitute husband where I say wife. Anyway, I am really curious for those married or in a close relationship, what your wife feels about your cigar habit? Any of you feel pressure to stop? Any threats? I told my wife early on, the matter was not up for discussion, I have only taken this line once in our marriage, but I felt in this one case it was a necessity to be firm and make my opinions known very early in the relationship. If you are soft on the issue or non determining, it will come up again and again, and she won't let it drop. So in this case I feel the best thing to do is put the brakes on the topic right from the beginning. I also have to go to pains to destinkify after smoking a cigar. She was thrilled to no end the other day when I told her I was giving away some of my cigars, I made the mistake of saying it was to make room for more, big mistake. Now that we have a daughter I fear in a few years she will be employed to attack my habit, but it won't work! Her mom also is a anti tobacco whacko, but with her and anyone else, just don't let them get their foot in the door, say you won't discuss it, move on to another subject, and never get into an argument about it. Anyway I am just curious about my other comrades in arms out there, what are your tactics, and how do you manage the situation? We should learn from each other!
cyrus Offline
#2 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 6:07 PM EST
Joined: 10-15-1999
Posts: 16
I have been waiting for a smoker's rights group to crop up ever since my first wife got me to quit cigarettes. My current wife doesn't like it at all and refers to it as my "black lung" habit, and wonders why I buy more when I have enough to smoke for the next 3 years. I smoke outside and always have a bottle of Frebreeze handy. It could be worse, my sister is a smoker but makes her husband smoke in the garage! Now it's time for me to take the dogs out and light one up!
aberdeen Offline
#3 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 6:25 PM EST
Joined: 06-11-1999
Posts: 741
I feel gracious that my wife even allows me to smoke in the garage as the winters get bitter cold here. So I am cooped up in a corner with a space heater listening to late night talk radio with liquid refreshment. I even joined a bowling league, I am not the greatest bowler, but I can smoke three cigars during league night indoors! (I get there an hour before league starts to get a good jump on my weekly "big smoke") The things we have to do.
cyrus Offline
#4 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 6:59 PM EST
Joined: 10-15-1999
Posts: 16
I have gone so far as to build a small shed (we tore off the old enclosed porch) that can be heated by a space heater and the dryer vent for my winter fix. Living in upper midwest it to damn cold to smoke anything over 5" - I am glad spring has sprung!
cigarlady Offline
#5 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 7:21 PM EST
Joined: 09-11-2010
Posts: 5
Sorry guys. My fiancee is a lucky man cuz I love cigars. He always smoked a pipe and bought me a cigar for fun during a long car trip a couple of years ago. I loved it from the start. Had never even tried cigarettes though so he was shocked. Well, needless to say, I became the cigar expert in the house and now we have 3 humidors and a cooler-dor. He even buys me cigar bouquets instead of flowers . . . I still get flowers now and again tho. We both smoke about anywhere except the bedroom and we do have a great air purifying machine for the living room that's amazing. I figure I didn't take up the habit until 40 so if it kills me in 25-30 years . . . well, it's right on schedule.
doreend55 Offline
#6 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 7:34 PM EST
Joined: 03-10-2000
Posts: 31
doreend55 Offline
#7 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 7:39 PM EST
Joined: 03-10-2000
Posts: 31
sorry about the above message, pressed enter to quick. I am not married but I have a girlfriend I've been together for a long time with. She doesnt like when I go to kiss her after smoking, she pushes me away and tells me to go get something to drink or gum. We are not currently living together because I live at school the most of the time but after I graduate in two years, we have plans to move to New York and I will get a job for an accounting firm. what I am leading to is that I have already told her that I love cigars and that I will not stop. She has an occasional smoke with me, but I need to have a really sweat sweat cigar or flavored cigar. Any suggestions? I found one when we were in Puerto Rico and it was hand rolled there. Cant locate any more. All in all she is very good when it comes to me smoking, her only problem is me kissing her after I smoke and she doesnt.
doreend55 Offline
#8 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 7:41 PM EST
Joined: 03-10-2000
Posts: 31
That is sweat for her, I like them stronger.
soothesayer Offline
#9 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 8:00 PM EST
Joined: 09-06-1999
Posts: 74
My girlfriend always tells me two words...mouth cancer.I tell her relax...have a cigar.That is really the only issue with her and she knows that at least they are not cigarettes.So,to alleviate her concern for my health I smoke only 3-5 cigars a week down from my normal 8-10 a week. Now that I am doing this,I look forward to and appreciate one of my favorite pleasures even more and I think that my ability to discern flavor and texture has improved as well. As far as ambient smoke is concerned, she usually leaves the room but the scent of cigars she finds to be manly and intoxicating...Lucky for me.:)
robnsue Offline
#10 Posted: Sat, Apr 22 2000, 10:26 PM EST
Joined: 02-23-2000
Posts: 269
I am lucky! (Sort of) I was the non-smoking spouse and dogged my wife to stop. After purchasing our 1st home smoking moved outdoors..(Denver). Now in Iowa we have a stove with the big vent in the middle and she smokes in the kitchen. My old boss got me hooked on cigars so I go outside or occasionally the basement. My biggest concern was health but it is a proven fact that A. Everything but rice cakes kill and B. You are going to die I.E. Live a little
Rob
cigarlady Offline
#11 Posted: Sun, Apr 23 2000, 4:28 AM EST
Joined: 09-11-2010
Posts: 5
If you want a sweet cigar for your girlfriend, try the Oliveros Long Lady Sweets. Also, the Las Vegas Cigar Company sells a really sweet vanilla cigar that women love. My fiancee says it's like smoking dessert. While I'm a real cigar fan myself...the CAO Cameroon is my current fav when I can get it...the sweet ones are fun for a change or at parties. Tell her it beats chocolate and she'll be sold.
Hansen Offline
#12 Posted: Sun, Apr 23 2000, 2:22 PM EST
Joined: 03-11-2000
Posts: 444
Aberdeen (or Tom, more rightfully). I nearly laughed me 'ead off reading your awesome piece. Being one of the (four) persons to, sort of, having ones hands deep into your Humidor, grabbing whatever comes first and being alowed to smoke it, you have really hit one serious nail. Being a new (no more a cuboard) cigar smoker, with a wife having just quitted (cigaret)smoking after say 20 yrs., I have a hard time. She's experiencing having the Mailman deliver cigar parcels everyday she's off work (good thing she's working every other weekend when deliveries also comes), giving me a hard time telling the children "not to recieve any cigar parcels" when we're not in. (chuckles***). Her, being fairly new to the world of wine, therethrough experiencing another world of pleasure, will (hopefully) take on another attitude towards me and my cigar habbit. Cigars and wine (Scotish Single Malt Whisky, for that matter) are to not be ignored as an important factor of life and life enjoyment. I don't know if these matters are of more importance to males than fedo's (get the stick Fido!!), but if it is, they (fewmales and wifes) better get to accept or get into it. Having said this, any smoker should be non-smoker aware, being into the fact that other persons might not be too keen of smoke and smokers, therefore giving those persons space to also live their lives as non-smokers. - Smoker or non-smoker, make space for one another. (Jeez, it's hard to express one self in another languague. - I'm from Denmark, Europe.)
aberdeen Offline
#13 Posted: Sun, Apr 23 2000, 5:10 PM EST
Joined: 06-11-1999
Posts: 741
well, for one, never have your cigars delivered at home, mine get delivered at the shop. And perhaps the most important advice of all, some of you may know this. Never ever ask you wife, husband, girlfriend etc... to buy you cigars for a present. For if they do, they will learn how much premium cigars costs! This may not be a problem with some people, but others this fact learnt would be disaster.
mikeconley Offline
#14 Posted: Mon, Apr 24 2000, 2:52 PM EST
Joined: 04-04-2000
Posts: 31
My wife and I were both cigarette smokers. I quit the butts about a year ago and just started cigars about 6 months ago. The wife is very tolerant, although she does say they smell like sh**, which I of course disagreee with. I don't smoke in the house though if we have people over that it bothers, I figure after all they are my guests and I want them to feel welcome.

I have em shipped to the house on a regular basis, but I do stop at the shop and pick up some odds and ends to "smuggle" in:)
Robert Green Offline
#15 Posted: Wed, Apr 26 2000, 7:20 AM EST
Joined: 10-20-1999
Posts: 12
Try the Carbonell!
hegemonic Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Apr 27 2000, 5:48 PM EST
Joined: 01-17-2000
Posts: 1,294
Without having to explicitly state that this subject was not up for debate, I solved the problem by getting my fiance into cigars. I smoke all around the house except the bedroom. She enjoys the aroma of cigars although she does nag me about ordering from this site all the time. "How many cigars do you need? You have enough to last you over a year. Stop ordering more." or I get the "I have to have an intervention here, your addiction must be dealt with". When she smokes some of the sticks I've won here, she forgets to nag me for a while :)
Palama Offline
#17 Posted: Sat, Jul 16 2022, 12:46 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,598
My wife can’t stand the smell of cigar smoke, whether it’s in the air and floats into our house (…I smoke only in the garage…), on my clothes or, as she claims, my cigar breath.

I’ve thought of going out for a 30-45 minute walk with a cigar but there’ll still be the smell on me.

Oh well….
Dg west deptford Offline
#18 Posted: Sat, Jul 16 2022, 1:57 PM EST
Joined: 05-25-2019
Posts: 2,836
We have one woman at the lounge who smokes & her husband doesn't.
(Also our mailman)
He dutifully buys her cigars regularly but hates it.

He recently stopped in to stock up on top of the line smokes
He knows I'm amazed by his backwards situation from previous conversations with him.

As he left the shpo loaded down with goodies he smiled & said
"I'll get laid tonight for sure"
Palama Offline
#19 Posted: Sat, Jul 16 2022, 2:18 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,598
Dg west deptford wrote:
We have one woman at the lounge who smokes & her husband doesn't.
(Also our mailman)
He dutifully buys her cigars regularly but hates it.

He recently stopped in to stock up on top of the line smokes
He knows I'm amazed by his backwards situation from previous conversations with him.

As he left the shpo loaded down with goodies he smiled & said
"I'll get laid tonight for sure"


Sounds like a happy ending for all! ThumpUp
Sunoverbeach Offline
#20 Posted: Sat, Jul 16 2022, 7:09 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,647
Mrs. Beach hates the smell, but tolerates without too much complaint if I'm smoking outside. If I smoke at the SHPO, which doesn't have the best air system, I need to undergo a full decontamination shower, brush teeth, and fresh clothes. I also need to leave the smoky clothes in the garage unless I run the washer right away.


I still get laid tho. I'm downright irresistible.
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