Two Irish men, Paddy and Mick, were adrift in a life boat.
While rummaging through the boat's provisions Paddy stumbled across an old
lamp.
Rubbed it vigorously and sure enough, as you might expect, out popped a
genie.
This genie however was a little different. He said he could only deliver one
wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought, Mick blurted out, "Turn the entire ocean into
beer. Make that Guinness!"
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash and immediately the sea
turned into that hard-earned thirst quencher. His abbreviated work done, the genie vanished.
Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men
considered their circumstances.
Paddy looked disgustedly at Mick whose wish had been granted.
After a long, tension-filled moment Paddy said, "Nice going idiot,
Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."
Should have known my neighbor was a communist.
There were plenty of red flags.
A man came home after a terrible round of golf, his worst ever. He plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”
The wife sighed, but she got him a beer.
A short time later, he said, “Get me another beer before it starts.”
She looked at him angrily, but she grabbed another beer and slammed it down next to him.
He finished that beer and a few minutes later said, “Quick, get me another beer. It’s going to start any minute.”
The wife was furious at this point.
She yelled at him, “You’ve been out golfing all day. Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunk, fat slob, and furthermore…”
The man sighed and said, “See? It started.”
You ever get air for your tires at the gas station?
You remember when you could air up for free?
Now they charge for using their air compressor.
I guess that is inflation.....
