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Last post 7 years ago by Burner02. 31 replies replies.
Older Women
rastusmcnair Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 03-01-2003
Posts: 1,845
I met an older woman at a bar last night.

She wasn't bad for 57; we drank and bull****ted a bit, then she asked if I'd ever had the 'sportsman's double', a mother and daughter threesome?

I said no.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was my lucky night.

I went back to her place.

She put the hall light on and shouted upstairs:
"Mom, you still awake?"
Torpedo1 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 04-08-2001
Posts: 4,768
get the hell out of here.
SteveR@CigarBid Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 11-19-2002
Posts: 12,746
That's hilarious. If it's true, even funnier. If you followed through, you're a hero to us all.
tailgater Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Have her mom take her teeth out and turn out the light.
Then guess which end you're doing.

hombre Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 11-16-2005
Posts: 6,586
Must have been like a waffle house in there with all those pancakes flopping around!
DrMaddVibe Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,301
For the team!!!
ScottHar Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Wait'll you try a "Grannie's Hat Trick!"

ScottHar
DrMaddVibe Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,301
The Holy Trinity!
Torpedo1 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 04-08-2001
Posts: 4,768
You walk out with bruises, and black eyes?
DrMaddVibe Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,301
Torp...you ain't from 'round here are ya?

You take the small bus into town?

Nudge nudge wink wink, know what I mean?
Goathead50 Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 01-22-2007
Posts: 21,809
Hell turn off the lights and hit both. What the hell!
nine999 Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 07-27-2005
Posts: 14,622


huh huh...huh huh....

good one.



huh huh huh....



nine
Torpedo1 Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 04-08-2001
Posts: 4,768
Drop smoke and run!!!
CROS Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
I bet it smelled like a wet phone book in that bedroom. There's nothing quite like an old bluehair that knows her way around the bedroom, though.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,301
Said the smooth voice of experience?

Oh yea----YEAH BOYZ!
pacman357 Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 02-27-2006
Posts: 42,596
My mother in law is nearly 80 and lives about 17 miles from us, just four blocks from my main office.

Thank you for the disturbing image and the convulsive reaction I will now get twice a day passing her apartment.
CROS Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
^^ She's not as repulsive when she's naked as you might think, Pacman. A real tiger in the tank, too.
jjohnson28 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 09-12-2000
Posts: 7,914
They don't call him pacman for nuthin' you know.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,301
Great now I have that Pacman ending music in my head and this filmstrip running in my mind of a naked guy wearing socks plowing Maude!
nine999 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 07-27-2005
Posts: 14,622


um..... i didn't need that visual....


nine
jjohnson28 Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 09-12-2000
Posts: 7,914
He's wearing socks? That's just crazy talk right there.
J.Redleg Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 04-28-2005
Posts: 18,020
You now know what it smells like down there...


Depends!


(HA! HA!)
CROS Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
^^21

Hardwood floors
pacman357 Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 02-27-2006
Posts: 42,596
#19 (and a couple others) LMAO.
Nutttttttttty Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 03-25-2006
Posts: 1,328
That is fantastic. I love this joke. Can't believe I haven't heard it before.
Gene363 Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,660

LMAO!
moonman Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 11-21-2004
Posts: 3,978
I hope you don't mind if I use that one. 1 word....Hilarious!
plabonte Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 09-11-2000
Posts: 2,131
If she is that old is there any tred left on the tires? Or is it like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
if you put a peach basket over their head, you can't tell the difference.

ben franklin
rastusmcnair Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 03-01-2003
Posts: 1,845
One from the vault.
Burner02 Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 12-21-2010
Posts: 12,861
Run Forrest, run.
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