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Last post 6 years ago by bgz. 58 replies replies.
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3 Wishes
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
Say you found an old beer bottle on the beach. When you picked up, a drunk genie came out and granted you 3 wishes. What would you wish for?

Me:

1. Unlimited money.
2. World peace
3. For everyone in the world to know the facts about creation/God (no matter what they are).

opelmanta1900 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
read a book hank...
DrafterX Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,535
what does the Genie look like..?? Huh
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
DrafterX wrote:
what does the Genie look like..?? Huh


Whatever you want it to look like...
RMAN4443 Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Hank_The_Tank wrote:
Say you found an old beer bottle on the beach. When you picked up, a drunk genie came out and granted you 3 wishes. What would you wish for?

Me:

1. Unlimited money.
2. World peace
3. For everyone in the world to know the facts about creation/God (no matter what they are).


1.Whirled Peas
2.A 12" Pianist
3.I'd like to buy the world a Coke...............Whistle

Hank_The_Tank Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
Since my first list was boring...

1. For MACS (and anyone else who has my posts blocked) to unblock me and read my posts.
2. A walk in humidor filled with the world's best cigars.
3. For Drafter to stop sending me PM's asking for nudes.
bgz Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
DrafterX wrote:
what does the Genie look like..?? Huh


Al Bundy.
bgz Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
What are we talking about anyway, hank say something stupid again?
tamapatom Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 03-19-2015
Posts: 7,381
My first wish would be for the genie to grant me unlimited wishes. Now you guys can have the other two as long as you don't wish me to loose my unlimited wishes.....or wish for me to be dead before I have the chance to use one of my unlimited wishes to take your wish away or smite you back first............Never mind, it is easier for me to keep all the wishes. I wish this thread never was started! ........crap, lost one of them already.
jjanecka Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
I would immediately inform a priest that a demon has been summoned from a lamp and perform an excorsism.
DrafterX Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,535
that would be gay... Mellow
jjanecka Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Nah f'ck that it's not worth my everlasting soul.
DrafterX Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,535
if you wished for immortality you wouldn't have to worry about your soul... Mellow
Buckwheat Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 04-15-2004
Posts: 12,251
"If I had one wish that I could wish, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

If I had two wishes that I could wish for, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account.

You know, if I had three wishes that I could make, first, of course, would be for all the children to get together and sing.. the second would be for the $30 million every month to me.. and the third would be for all encompassing power over every living being thing in the entire universe.

And if I had four wishes that I could make, first would be the crap about the kids.. second would be for the $30 million.. the third would be for all the power.. and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Margot Robbie and that model Bianca somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.

Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no.. the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I mean, they're not gonna be able to get all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible! It's more trouble than it's worth! So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex - we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay.. revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony. Thank you, everybody." - SM
Beer
DrafterX Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,535
Mellow
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
I change my third...

...for everyone on this board to respect me..big wish, I know. Or at least to not give me crap about random posts that are no different than random posts by others.

ha
DrafterX Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,535
or you could just wish for their whackers to fall off... Mellow
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
DrafterX wrote:
or you could just wish for their whackers to fall off... Mellow


That would be fantastic! ha
Applause
tamapatom Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 03-19-2015
Posts: 7,381
Hank_The_Tank wrote:
I change my third...

...for everyone on this board to respect me..big wish, I know. Or at least to not give me crap about random posts that are no different than random posts by others.

ha
But yours are special........crap is a form of respect here. The rest of us don't need any respect.
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
tamapatom wrote:
But yours are special........crap is a form of respect here. The rest of us don't need any respect.


I am "special", I know that. Can't believe you guys make fun of a slow person like myself. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
DrafterX Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,535
Never go full tard.. Shame on you
tamapatom Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 03-19-2015
Posts: 7,381
Stupid is as stupid does.
bgz Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Another option for Buckwheat... Power first, then you don't need the other two wishes, .. n wishes.

Save the last 2 for that emergency midnight sandwich or something.
jjanecka Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Hank it's against the law for me to suggest a certain action now that that girl suggested it to her boyfriend and he died...
RMAN4443 Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
jjanecka wrote:
I would immediately inform a priest that a demon has been summoned from a lamp and perform an circumcision.


FIFY
jjanecka Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Better get Rabbi Frank!
RMAN4443 Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Hank_The_Tank wrote:
I change my third...

...for everyone on this board to respect me..big wish, I know. Or at least to not give me crap about random posts that are no different than random posts by others.

ha

You can't get respect by wishing for it......it has to be earned
jjanecka Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Yeah and the only way you can earn it is if Frank gets to circumsize you.
Buckwheat Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 04-15-2004
Posts: 12,251
bgz wrote:
Another option for Buckwheat... Power first, then you don't need the other two wishes, .. n wishes.

Save the last 2 for that emergency midnight sandwich or something.


You all don't have very good memory of classic television. fog
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/steven-martins-holiday-wish/n9507?snl=1
bgz Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Well, that ain't it, I just don't watch Saturday night live.... My bad for screwing up the joke.

I'll take my ten lashes and an hour of hanging out with Hank.
Buckwheat Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 04-15-2004
Posts: 12,251
bgz wrote:
Well, that ain't it, I just don't watch Saturday night live.... My bad for screwing up the joke.

I'll take my ten lashes and an hour of hanging out with Hank.


Sorry but enjoy these old favorites.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/ask-president-carter/n8649?snl=1
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/point-counterpoint-lee-marvin-and-michelle-triola/2846665
Beer
SteveS Offline
#32 Posted:
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
RMAN4443 wrote:
You can't get respect by wishing for it......it has to be earned


^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
gummy jones Offline
#33 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
You would probably wish that that incinerated thong was magically reformed
RMAN4443 Offline
#34 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
DrafterX wrote:
or you could just wish for their whackers to fall off... Mellow

OH chit.........my whacker just fell off!!!!!!!! Anxious
Hmhaines Offline
#35 Posted:
Joined: 12-16-2015
Posts: 853
I'm a selfish funk. Here's what I'd wish for:

1: One night with Rita Hayworth in 1946
2: The chance to restart my life having been born in 1933 instead of '93
3: The guarantee that I'll be a good father
frankj1 Offline
#36 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
jjanecka wrote:
Yeah and the only way you can earn it is if Frank gets to circumsize you.

eeeewww!
bgz Offline
#37 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
jjanecka wrote:
Yeah and the only way I could earn it is by letting Frank circumsize me.



EWwwwww!
jjanecka Offline
#38 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
I think he did a fair job. For his first time it's pretty symmetrical..
bgz Offline
#39 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Let me guess his tools...

pliers, vice grips and a box cutter.
Mattie B Offline
#40 Posted:
Joined: 12-12-2005
Posts: 6,350
Hank,

I'm going to share some advice that you will hopefully consider.

Don't seek approval from anyone here. It's been said that many of these personalities are here for amusement only. In other words, they aren't genuine.

I believe that anyone who has met me at herfs would say, "he's the same guy in person". The same can't be said about other people here.

You seem like a good enough guy. I'd go fishing with you or just hangout.

Do you, and forget what other folks think.


And to play along without much thought....

Family health
Family honor(doing what's right)
A lifetime of being content and happy.
Hank_The_Tank Offline
#41 Posted:
Joined: 11-15-2016
Posts: 3,677
Mattie!

It isn't so much their approval I seek, just to not be treated like the red headed step child of the group (when I post random things that are no crazier than posts from others). hahaha
bgz Offline
#42 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Mattie B wrote:
Hank,

I'm going to share some advice that you will hopefully consider.

Don't seek approval from anyone here. It's been said that many of these personalities are here for amusement only. In other words, they aren't genuine.

I believe that anyone who has met me at herfs would say, "he's the same guy in person". The same can't be said about other people here.

You seem like a good enough guy. I'd go fishing with you or just hangout.

Do you, and forget what other folks think.


And to play along without much thought....

Family health
Family honor(doing what's right)
A lifetime of being content and happy.


Didn't you rage quit?

Mattie B Offline
#43 Posted:
Joined: 12-12-2005
Posts: 6,350
More like "fed up" quit.

I don't rage on a keyboard.
opelmanta1900 Offline
#44 Posted:
Joined: 01-10-2012
Posts: 13,954
Mattie B wrote:
More like "fed up" quit.

I don't rage on a keyboard.

Doesn't look to me like you quit..
Mattie B Offline
#45 Posted:
Joined: 12-12-2005
Posts: 6,350
I guess not.

Maybe call it, "frustrated pause".


Beauty in life is that minds can change. I guess I missed some of the guys around here.
bgz Offline
#46 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
Mattie B wrote:
More like "fed up" quit.

I don't rage on a keyboard.



RaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaAAaage!


You don't rage on a keyboard?

I do, you know how many enter keys I've busted?


Edit...

You sure did seem like you were raging though... I could picture you doing the two finger crazy angry face with your shoulders bunched up, pounding the keys... Pretty sure it was something like that.

I've seen captain-save-a-hos rage IRL, can't imagine you looked any different from behind a screen, rofl.
frankj1 Offline
#47 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
Mattie B!
frankj1 Offline
#48 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
jjanecka wrote:
I think he did a fair job. For his first time it's pretty symmetrical..

you did say take a little off the top, no?

where's tg to say "it won't be long now"?
itsawaldo Offline
#49 Posted:
Joined: 09-10-2006
Posts: 4,221
I may semi-retired, not my choice, but I was in sales, I did alright for a long time.

I'd need 5 so I would ask for 7 and negotiate down to five, then I could include my wife and GF.
jjanecka Offline
#50 Posted:
Joined: 12-08-2015
Posts: 4,334
Frank, I think the exact words were "an inch, give or take."

Boy am I regretting that joke...
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