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first, best, biggest!

Last post 6 years ago by HuckFinn. 9 replies replies.
Thursday Funnies
Buckwheat Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 04-15-2004
Posts: 12,251
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of
me life, between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly! and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,
he s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had! to pull him by the ears to make him come."

So, a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less.
The bartender asks, "What's less?" The guy says "I don't know but the doctor told me I have to start drinking it."


A Texan on holiday in Mexico stopped at a local restaurant.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful..

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"

The cowboy said, "What the heck; bring me an order."

The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor; there is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned; placed his order; and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor; Sometimes the bull wins.



An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 86-year-old said ,'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.

"So what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend , much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season."

One day he was setting off to go hunting.

In a bit of a hurry , he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun."

"As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge..

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'."

"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said, "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."

Beer
deadeyedick Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 16,961
Haaaarrrr! Laugh
delta1 Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
dude.....ear pulling, bull fighting and bagging beaver ...lol...
corey sellers Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 10,339
Applause

Good stuff

Herfing
dstieger Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=73&v=NWcqLjVxK_k

Don't need no Evinrude..
Gene363 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,680
LOL
gummy jones Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
That last one
Lol
Burner02 Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 12-21-2010
Posts: 12,861
BigGrin
HuckFinn Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 07-10-2017
Posts: 2,044
Thanks Buckwheat

Was worth signing in for!
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