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Last post 5 years ago by Whistlebritches. 26 replies replies.
Lies you tell your SO when the UPS guy shows up...
manowar5150 Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 10-02-2018
Posts: 15
Let's talk about your most creative excuses. The Big Brown Truck shows up and your wife reads the return address on the box or wonders what it is. Or she doesn't and asks what the box is under your arm. Then what?
KingoftheCove Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,603
Oh.............this is gonna be good...
Pudding Mittens Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 08-15-2016
Posts: 1,291
manowar5150 wrote:
The Big Brown Truck shows up and your wife reads the return address on the box or wonders what it is. Or she doesn't and asks what the box is under your arm. Then what?

She has to exist first, and she never will, because I won't ever marry.

"A man is not complete until he's married... Then, he's finished!" - Zsa Zsa Gabor
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ZRX1200 Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,477
Maybe your broad doesn’t know here place, tel her to make you a sammich and get the clippers ready to shave your back rug before bed. If she behaves let her pleasure you later. Always works for me
manowar5150 Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 10-02-2018
Posts: 15
Applause Applause Alrighty then.
Ewok126 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
Never made an excuse to tell. I tell her straight up what it is and to be expecting more.
engletl Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
Just make sure every third package is for her

Like a new vacuum cleaner, iron, sewing machine, cookbook, etc etc

That way she is happy knowing that you do care about her and she will never comment on the number of packages coming for you
GhettoNigFabulous Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2018
Posts: 199
Man, some of you “men” are a joke. Since when can your woman tell you what you can and can’t buy, as if she gives you your weekly allowance? Man....if Mrs. GhettoNigFabulous ever starts that BS with me I’ll be looooooonnng gone , and she’ll never find another man that’ll treat her right....
bgz Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
GhettoNigFabulous wrote:
Man, some of you “men” are a joke. Since when can your woman tell you what you can and can’t buy, as if she gives you your weekly allowance? Man....if Mrs. GhettoNigFabulous ever starts that BS with me I’ll be looooooonnng gone , and she’ll never find another man that’ll treat her right....


Just wait till you start buying better cigars.
tonygraz Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
Last package here was pipe tobacco - 3 pouches costing $1. No complaints, no lies told.
deadeyedick Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 16,961
I stopped explaining long ago.
Ewok126 Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 06-25-2017
Posts: 4,356
GhettoNigFabulous wrote:
Man, some of you “men” are a joke. Since when can your woman tell you what you can and can’t buy, as if she gives you your weekly allowance? Man....if Mrs. GhettoNigFabulous ever starts that BS with me I’ll be looooooonnng gone , and she’ll never find another man that’ll treat her right....



I got to roll with him on this one.
RMAN4443 Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
I just tell her "Don't you worry baby, I got you a little package you can unwrap later"...she always laughs when I say that ,but I'mnot really trying to be funny....I don't get it. ..Think Anxious
bassman45 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 07-05-2009
Posts: 4,082
What do I tell her?The same thing I've been saying for the last 10+ years......It's the last time.
manowar5150 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 10-02-2018
Posts: 15
Boy, this one must've hurt for some of y'all...
corey sellers Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 10,339
That's the 6th and final box of them
99cobra2881 Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 11-19-2013
Posts: 2,472
corey sellers wrote:
That's the 6th and final box of them




Applause
danmdevries Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 02-11-2014
Posts: 17,124
For all the things she will moan about, cigars aren't one of them.
manowar5150 Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-02-2018
Posts: 15
danmdevries wrote:
For all the things she will moan about, cigars aren't one of them.


Same here. She'd hate if I lied, cheated, came home drunk, fucked up the finances, or didn't pay the years taxes. But cigars? She likes it.
bassman45 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 07-05-2009
Posts: 4,082
manowar5150 wrote:
Same here. She'd hate if I lied, cheated, came home drunk, fucked up the finances, or didn't pay the years taxes. But cigars? She likes it.



Let's see after you accumulate 700-800 cigars if she still likes itAnxious
Mandoman Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 12-27-2005
Posts: 4,761
I tell her to get her own cigars.
dstieger Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
I alternate weeks with Tackle Warehouse boxes....mix it up and it doesn't seem like so much
RMAN4443 Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
dstieger wrote:
I alternate weeks with Tackle Warehouse boxes....mix it up and it doesn't seem like so much

Technically, cigars are tackle, right???Anxious
tonygraz Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
I saw a cigar plug with hooks for sale somewhere a while ago.
SteveS Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
bassman45 wrote:
Let's see after you accumulate 700-800 cigars if she still likes itAnxious


that was about the turning point here ... "but Steve, you don't need more cigars" ... which was true and after the total on hand got to be about double that, her protests became increasingly insistent, then stopped after I pointed out that I wasn't neglecting any needs or obligations and that my cigars weren't hurting her ...

but after the stash grew to be well more than 2,000 cigars and then prices grew beyond reason and the Obama over-reach started eliminating options, I all but stopped buying and have just been smoking down the stash ... result is that she hasn't complained in several years ...
Whistlebritches Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,127
manowar5150 wrote:
Let's talk about your most creative excuses. The Big Brown Truck shows up and your wife reads the return address on the box or wonders what it is. Or she doesn't and asks what the box is under your arm. Then what?


Dude just tell her what a great deal you got compared to those California B&M's.If she don't accept that kick her to the curb.
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