Well, My A.S.S. is at it again...I just went to go to the store for milk and found another Box and a Shipping envelope from Amazon...I don't know when it arrived-I was to wrapped up in the Patriots choking on a Big Fat...but that's not important right now....
Anyway, I opened up the box first and inside I found a...
Handy set of fine cutlery adorned with the delightfully whimsical characters from the enchanting Disney film-Cars
It's a fork and spoon which should make it easy to get food from plate to mouth without the mess I usually make with the two sticks an old Oriental fellow left me in his will several years ago(have you ever tried to eat with sticks?)These are gonna be GREAT!!
A six pack of multiple colors, glittery Play Doh and a Butterfly and a Heart cutter molds....I don't know how he knew, but it was just what I wanted(I didn't even know I wanted it until I saw it, but it's probably the most beautiful Play Doh set I've ever seen....and I've seen a lot of them!)
In the envelope was a pink pouch closed up with a fancy hand tied ribbon, and a card.....The card said do not open until after you open your gift, .so you don't ruin the surprise. So I untied the pretty pink ribbon, and inside the pouch was a "Velvet Touch" hairbrush....This really confused me because, well, truth be told, I'm just a little bald(is that a thing? Then I realized it was probably meant to use in the shower, on my sensitive areas....Velvet Touch, sensitive areas...makes perfect sense to me now
Then I opened the envelope and the message said, Hi Rick, Enjoy your gift! More to Come!.....From your Sexy cbid Santa!
Oh Yeah, I forgot to mention there was another gift in the box...
A box of 16 individually wrapped Summers Eve Simply Sensitive Cleansing Cloths....needless to say, I had a hard time following the logic behind this gift, but then I read the packaging and I immediately understood the thought and care given to this gift...
Apparently, these offer 5 in 1 cleansing benefits...
1) Gently freshens and cleanses.....
has someone been talking?...I can't help it, it's my glands 2)Removes odor causing bacteria....
this is helpful, but it's my glands 3)Helps maintain a constant Ph....
you have no idea how helpful this can be...my Ph is all Phucked up 4)Free from dyes and parabens.....
I never had anyone care enough about me to limit my paraben use 5)Clinically tested Fresh Scents...
sounds nice, but I thought Santa was a Clean Meadow Scent type of guy Sorry this was so long winded, but my A.S.S. took such good care of me I didn't want to leave anything out...
P.S.....way down deep , I'm a little scared