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Last post 4 years ago by tobii3. 42 replies replies.
Lars Tetens
frankj1 Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
I thought his cigars were long gone, but apparently Alec Bradley has purchased the brand and will begin to place them in shpos again.
Pudding Mittens Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 08-15-2016
Posts: 1,291
.
Quote from text on the front page of his website (at least as of the time I'm writing this, it might get corrected later):

Quote:
Lars Tetens is a man of so many talents he has been dubbed by his admirers as a contemporary Leonardo Da Vinci. People ranging from high-profile celebrities to politicians and presidents of Fortune 500 companies have retained him as there consultant on many varying projects, and are among his abundant admirers.

Yes, he is so amazingly brilliant and totally awesome that he doesn't know how homophones work, something that's taught in elementary school English class! Razz
.
Whistlebritches Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,127
Pudding Mittens wrote:
.
Quote from text on the front page of his website (at least as of the time I'm writing this, it might get corrected later):


Yes, he is so amazingly brilliant and totally awesome that he doesn't know how homophones work, something that's taught in elementary school English class! Razz
.



Homowhats?
Palama Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,461
Pudding Mittens wrote:
.
Quote from text on the front page of his website (at least as of the time I'm writing this, it might get corrected later):


Yes, he is so amazingly brilliant and totally awesome that he doesn't know how homophones work, something that's taught in elementary school English class! Razz
.


Proofreading is a lost skill. Brick wall

I still have my soft cover book somewhere:

http://www.jlakes.org/ch/web/The-elements-of-style.pdf

frankj1 Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
Pudding Mittens wrote:
.
Quote from text on the front page of his website (at least as of the time I'm writing this, it might get corrected later):


Yes, he is so amazingly brilliant and totally awesome that he doesn't know how homophones work, something that's taught in elementary school English class! Razz
.

that stuff just jumps off the page.
at least he has always had his ego in check.

I recall smoking one or two of his offerings earlier in the century, I seem to think he was on the scene with his magical South American/Amazon secret blends before Jonathan Drew reinvented the genre...

possible?
Pudding Mittens Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 08-15-2016
Posts: 1,291
Whistlebritches wrote:
Homowhats?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophone

It's "their consultant". When you instead use "there consultant", people wince.

They sound the same, but one is correct and the other is horribly incorrect, especially in a business setting, and ESPECIALLY when ironically appearing in a paragraph of douchey, self-congratulatory "look how awesome I am!" text.

Hilarious!
.
delta1 Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
so...I take it Lars is not one of you're faves...
Pudding Mittens Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 08-15-2016
Posts: 1,291
delta1 wrote:
so...I take it Lars is not one of you're faves...

They were pretty much like Acid cigars, but much more expensive, if I remember right. It's been a long time.

And no, I'm not a fan of infused cigars, but to each their own.

By the way, I did get the "you're faves" irony humor you slipped in there, very nice!
.
delta1 Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
yah...iirc, one of his blends, a big log, was included in an Acid sampler pack 9-10 years ago...
frankj1 Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
when looking at his stuff and site, it felt as if I had stumbled into a loft in a converted manufacturing site in NYC owned by Andy Warhol.
and that was a very uncomfortable feeling for me...like being paranoid while tripping.
Whistlebritches Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,127
Pudding Mittens wrote:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophone

It's "their consultant". When you instead use "there consultant", people wince.

They sound the same, but one is correct and the other is horribly incorrect, especially in a business setting, and ESPECIALLY when ironically appearing in a paragraph of douchey, self-congratulatory "look how awesome I am!" text.

Hilarious!
.



PM me your digits...…..I'm a text you some homo words I'm more familiar with.
frankj1 Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
that was great!
tonygraz Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
homophones - ain't they those pink Apple phones.
RMAN4443 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Pudding Mittens wrote:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophone

It's "their consultant". When you instead use "there consultant", people wince.

They sound the same, but one is correct and the other is horribly incorrect, especially in a business setting, and ESPECIALLY when ironically appearing in a paragraph of douchey, self-congratulatory "look how awesome I am!" text.

Hilarious!
.

Would you like to help my uncle ,Jack,off a horse...

Would you like to help my uncle jack off a horse...
One Is correct, and one is slightly less correct...unless you really love horses...Anxious
frankj1 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
RMAN4443 wrote:
Would you like to help my uncle ,Jack,off a horse...

Would you like to help my uncle jack off a horse...
One Is correct, and one is slightly less correct...unless you really love horses...Anxious

you heard that Mary Palmer died?
RMAN4443 Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
I did, but I know here 5 sisters...Anxious
danmdevries Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 02-11-2014
Posts: 17,124
RMAN4443 wrote:
I did, but I know here 5 sisters...Anxious


And each of em have a cousin?
delta1 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
oh yeah??.....well they named some grand and cool looking mountains after him...
dstieger Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
There were some LT fans around here.....DMV and schmitty, IIRC. JHC, too, maybe?
frankj1 Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
I do recall DMV posting about him. good or bad, don't remember.

I clicked on LT's music on the site...I think my brain pan took a subliminal message. I could not shake the urge to send a donation to the cult.
delta1 Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
think that may be what happened to DMV?
tonygraz Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
I heard he was banned.
apbigmo Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 03-14-2013
Posts: 48
I used to love the Lars cigars. What year did they stop selling them?
frankj1 Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
I guess they still do sell em...certain shpos in NY State anyway...but now Alec Bradley is gonna distribute them.

did we wake you up from a nap? HA!
JadeRose Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
Is that clown still around? He reminds me of that guy that used to be a "Lifestyle Director" for one of the cigar brands that used to hang around here. He just looked like a filthy hippy to me
ZRX1200 Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,476
There’s some legend of who helped who with the “imbued” cigars, he and JD did used to work together. He’s a weird egotistical dude who loves food, music (his sucks) and younger women. There’s some rumors there too....... I enjoy a good train wreck as much as the next guy but I wouldn’t have anything to do with him.
frankj1 Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
I'm thinking 10 minutes in the same room and I'd... run out screaming.

had to edit my original post as it may have been misconstrued as a threat to continued existence.
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
ZRX1200 wrote:
There’s some legend of who helped who with the “imbued” cigars, he and JD did used to work together. He’s a weird egotistical dude who loves food, music (his sucks) and younger women. There’s some rumors there too....... I enjoy a good train wreck as much as the next guy but I wouldn’t have anything to do with him.



Lars (real name Larry) is a complete douche and a legend in his own mind. No other way to describe him. Just about every conversation with him centers around him telling you about how great he (thinks he) is.

Rumor is that Jon named the ACID "Extra Ordinary Larry" after him as a subtle FO.
frankj1 Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
Lars (real name Larry) is a complete douche and a legend in his own mind. No other way to describe him. Just about every conversation with him centers around him telling you about how great he (thinks he) is.

Rumor is that Jon named the ACID "Extra Ordinary Larry" after him as a subtle FO.

does the Larry have Traces of Tetens in it...like his dandruff and stuff?
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
frankj1 wrote:
I'm thinking 10 minutes in the same room and I'd... run out screaming.

had to edit my original post as it may have been misconstrued as a threat to continued existence.


If he's smoking one of his infused chit sticks, you wouldn't make it 2 minutes...


As a joke one time, someone lit a Gorilla Finger at a herf, cleared half a large outdoor area the stench was so horrid. Imagine burning garbage doused with pine sol cleaner.
victor809 Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 10-14-2011
Posts: 23,866
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
If he's smoking one of his infused chit sticks, you wouldn't make it 2 minutes...


As a joke one time, someone lit a Gorilla Finger at a herf, cleared half a large outdoor area the stench was so horrid. Imagine burning garbage doused with pine sol cleaner.


mmmmmmm pine sol.....
Sunoverbeach Offline
#32 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,586
Just saw a review recently of a CBD laced cigar. He mentioned notes of pine and "doesn't taste too bad"

That's what I look for in a smoke. Not too bad and cheap wood
RMAN4443 Offline
#33 Posted:
Joined: 09-29-2016
Posts: 7,683
Sunoverbeach wrote:
Just saw a review recently of a CBD laced cigar. He mentioned notes of pine and "doesn't taste too bad"

That's what I look for in a smoke. Not too bad and cheap wood

If I want a CBD or THC laced cigar, Ill just roll my own....has no wood at all and a nice skunky twang to it...Bombed
delta1 Offline
#34 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
Lars (real name Larry) is a complete douche and a legend in his own mind. No other way to describe him. Just about every conversation with him centers around him telling you about how great he (thinks he) is.

Rumor is that Jon named the ACID "Extra Ordinary Larry" after him as a subtle FO.


so THAT was the "Lars Teten" cigar that was part of the Acid sampler pack 9-10 years ago...thanks TG...
Pudding Mittens Offline
#35 Posted:
Joined: 08-15-2016
Posts: 1,291
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
Lars (real name Larry) is a complete douche and a legend in his own mind. No other way to describe him. Just about every conversation with him centers around him telling you about how great he (thinks he) is.

When you read the text from his website's main page that I quoted above, he almost HAS TO BE like you describe. NO other kind of person can write such a thing, or at least write it without immediately realizing "holy schitt, this makes me sound like a giant self-obsessed delusional douche!" and deleting it without ever posting it.

The fact that it made it onto the website, that it actually got posted and is there, tells you everything. He is apparently proud of text that makes normal people cringe and laugh at the same time.

...and which, as I said, contains a heinous English error which makes him look like an ignorant idiot who doesn't know the basics of how his own native language works.

Ugh. Yeah, glad I never met him. I know guys who are similar, and I absolutely can't stand any of them.

The REAL fun starts when you meet a guy like this and something about you (higher status, more success, bigger skillset in the same field he's in, etc.) triggers his insecurities and throws him into "I must ALWAYS be the BEST guy in the room NO MATTER WHAT!" mode, where he starts embarrassing himself desperately trying to tear you down so he's #1 again. Pathetic and hilarious, simultaneously.

Remember kids, guys who are REALLY awesome don't ever have to SAY it, let alone drone on and on about it. It's obvious to everyone, without needing to be said. Also, if they meet a guy who's more awesome in some way, they aren't bothered by it, and will give the guy proper respect rather than try to tear him down due to insecurity.
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Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#36 Posted:
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
LOL.
tamapatom Offline
#37 Posted:
Joined: 03-19-2015
Posts: 7,381
Did Donald Trump ever make a cigar? It had to be the best ever!
KingoftheCove Offline
#38 Posted:
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,600
tamapatom wrote:
Did Donald Trump ever make a cigar? It had to be the best ever!

Prolly 9x90.........you know........uuugge
hoyodude Offline
#39 Posted:
Joined: 07-17-2000
Posts: 4,395
I smoked a few back when they first hit the markets out of curiosity. I survived. Barely. Lars has always been exactly the douche TG says he is and I have never been able to understand how he got such a following. Maybe he marketed at ICP concerts? I even was given a CD of what he claimed was his "music". It bared the same similarity to music that his sticks of garbage do to cigars. Seeing AB acquired this label, honestly, doesn't surprise me. Seems fitting.
Mr. Jones Offline
#40 Posted:
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,359
Man ... You guys are tough...

I met him /LARS/?twice?

Up in the Adamstown ,PA area at a BOTL
HERF AT A FANCY RESTAURANT / & MOTOR LODGE.
"BLACK ???" Jack Conrad was there too I think...not sure if RAM was at one of the herfs?

The guy who owned the restaurant was a pretty big poster on here way back in 2005-07??? I name escapes me now.

HE seemed OK to me but a little hard to approach if you hadn't met him before...he made hamburgers for everyone and brought his own branded chocolate truffles , both were very good...he gave away cigars but man did they ever smell bad when smoked...I still have a few in zip lock bags somewhere....he does not act like a douche in person and always had hot MULTIPLE NYC SKINNY GASH dressed in black leather hanging with him....
The literature (he handed out when there )was exactly as you
Say on here ...self grandiose and bad copy...many clerical and proofreading errors ....seemed to like to HYPE HIS FRIENDSHIPS WITH AEROSMITH MEMBERS A LOT.
Listened to some of LARS music once...Ornette Coleman jazz came to mind...loud squealing and unbearable.
Ram27 Offline
#41 Posted:
Joined: 04-30-2005
Posts: 48,922
Jonesey you are correct, Black Horse Lodge, Glenn was the owner, passed years ago. JHC was in attendance also. As for LARS, herfed with him, have pictures here with him, Smashed 247, his uncle and one of LARS, female followers.
He was always looking for free ride from Glenn, agree with Gerbil on assessment. He is very active on FB.
Good memories. 🙄
tobii3 Offline
#42 Posted:
Joined: 07-22-2003
Posts: 89
Thunder.Gerbil wrote:
... someone lit a Gorilla Finger at a herf, cleared half a large outdoor area the stench was so horrid. Imagine burning garbage doused with pine sol cleaner.


Dear G-d in Heaven, I was gifted a Gorilla Finger once.....once.....

The smell of that thing alone was enough to make you gag.....G-d forbid someone actually LIT that!!!!

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