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Last post 4 years ago by frankj1. 8 replies replies.
Strawberry festival: A Magwitch story retold.
smokestaxx Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 01-27-2012
Posts: 4,214
Painful weekend. Wife wanted to go to our towns strawberry festival. A cutsey display of crafts, pies and people whom I'd like to see dressed out in body bags. I figured I could tolerate it until wife tells me her mother was coming with us. Wanted to drop her with a straight right to her snotbox as soon as she said it but controlled myself. Anyway the old witch comes over. She resembles a dried apple with a turkey beak coming out of it. So I fill my hip flask with Jim beam and pull an airbender from the humey. As soon as I light up at the festival the old shrew starts in on me with comments to my wife loud enough for me to hear. "Your father smoked cigars when we first met but I stopped that. I don't know why you put up with it." I shot a glare at the wife and she kept it zipped. So I start taking hits from the flask and big ass draws from the airbender. I've got a good buzz going when the old shrew starts talking about getting some fried dough or funnel cake or whatever crap they're selling. Wife asks me to go get some of this dough stuff while she and Mom look at table after table of the junk on display. Shrew tells me to put plenty of powdered sugar on her dough. I don't know if it was the airbender or the bourbon but as soon as I get the dough for the hag I can't resist summoning up some absolutely wretched snot from the depths of my lungs and spitting it all over her dough. Remembering her demand for lots of sugar I cover up the snot with the sugar. Watching her shove my lung butter into her hideous pie hole really saved the day. Couldn't suppress a broad smile as I enjoyed the second half of the airbender. Nice to have a forum like this with like-minded people where I can really express myself. You guys are the best.
Warm regards,
Magwitch.
frankj1 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
nice cigar review.
Mr. Jones Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,359
Lung butter, shrew, hag....

Now I know MAGWITCH is not frank...

But is mag-wit' A Y.O.G.I. ?
Mr. Jones Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,359
New Cumberland, pa has an apple festival

PeddleR's viLLage Has a strawbERRy fEstiVal In, nEw hOpe, pa
JadeRose Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
Magwitch....we were in the presence of greatness
KingoftheCove Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,600
JadeRose wrote:
Magwitch....we were in the presence of greatness

+1
rfenst Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,100
JadeRose wrote:
Magwitch....we were in the presence of greatness

+1
frankj1 Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
I still have an inkling that jimbud may have been involved
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