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Last post 4 years ago by Speyside. 35 replies replies.
Today's joke.
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Speyside Offline
#1 Posted: Wed, May 29 2019, 9:26 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
KingoftheCove Offline
#2 Posted: Wed, May 29 2019, 9:45 PM EST
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,631
Speyside wrote:
What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"

Bet that elephant didn’t ask FrankieT that stupid question!

Prolly asked Drafter...
frankj1 Offline
#3 Posted: Wed, May 29 2019, 9:59 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
elephants love me
KingoftheCove Offline
#4 Posted: Wed, May 29 2019, 10:14 PM EST
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,631
frankj1 wrote:
elephants love me

Geez Frankie............that’s gotta hurt...
frankj1 Offline
#5 Posted: Wed, May 29 2019, 10:18 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
KingoftheCove wrote:
Geez Frankie............that’s gotta hurt...

I never asked
KingoftheCove Offline
#6 Posted: Thu, May 30 2019, 5:49 PM EST
Joined: 10-08-2011
Posts: 7,631
frankj1 wrote:
I never asked

heh heh..........Frankie still quick
tonygraz Offline
#7 Posted: Thu, May 30 2019, 6:37 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,231
Retirement will slow him down soon enuff.
Speyside Offline
#8 Posted: Thu, May 30 2019, 7:43 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Did you hear about the depressed plumber? He's been going through some chit.
tailgater Offline
#9 Posted: Sat, Jun 1 2019, 4:03 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
frankj1 wrote:
I never asked


#DumboToo
Speyside Offline
#10 Posted: Sat, Jun 1 2019, 4:11 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
If a man talks dirty to a woman, that's sexual harassment. If a woman talks dirty to a man, that'll be $6.50 a minute.
delta1 Offline
#11 Posted: Sat, Jun 1 2019, 5:13 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,778
so funny ....but true...
frankj1 Offline
#12 Posted: Sat, Jun 1 2019, 8:41 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
tailgater wrote:
#DumboToo



WTF? One of my best posts evah!
jespear Offline
#13 Posted: Sat, Jun 1 2019, 9:29 PM EST
Joined: 03-19-2004
Posts: 9,464
Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist ?

He reads lips.
Speyside Offline
#14 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 12:55 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."
izonfire Offline
#15 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 5:27 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,644
jespear wrote:
Did you hear about the deaf gynecologist ?

He reads lips.


LOL

AAAAAAhhhhhh!! - ya killin me!
tailgater Offline
#16 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 8:58 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
frankj1 wrote:
WTF? One of my best posts evah!


It was.
But don't forget about the elephants.
Because an elephant never forgets.
tailgater Offline
#17 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 9:00 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Speyside wrote:
I bought a box of condoms earlier today. The cashier asked if I'd like a bag. I said "nah, I'll just turn the lights off."


Funny.
I bought a box of condoms earlier today as well.
The cashier said "that will be $10.60".
I said "but the sign said 10 bucks".
She said "you gotta add tax".

I said "But I thought they stayed on by themselves"
frankj1 Offline
#18 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 9:02 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
why is it that the same things that were funny in 8th grade still work...like fart jokes and stuff?
tailgater Offline
#19 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 9:04 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
LOL!
Frank said FART!
frankj1 Offline
#20 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 9:06 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
tailgater wrote:
LOL!
Frank said FART!


below your pay grade, eh?

and I laffed cuz you wrote "fart" in capital letters and it looked even funnier.
tailgater Offline
#21 Posted: Sun, Jun 2 2019, 9:09 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185

FART
jespear Offline
#22 Posted: Mon, Jun 3 2019, 6:25 AM EST
Joined: 03-19-2004
Posts: 9,464
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician ?

He worked it out with a pencil.
Speyside Offline
#23 Posted: Mon, Jun 3 2019, 7:32 AM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
DrafterX Offline
#24 Posted: Mon, Jun 3 2019, 9:23 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,536
Jade's face..!! Laugh
frankj1 Offline
#25 Posted: Mon, Jun 3 2019, 11:43 AM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
in a clown suit.
delta1 Offline
#26 Posted: Mon, Jun 3 2019, 6:46 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,778
wonder why are they called suits...they are far from formal wear....
frankj1 Offline
#27 Posted: Mon, Jun 3 2019, 7:31 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,215
cuz men don't wear outfits
according to Drive By Truckers
jespear Offline
#28 Posted: Thu, Jun 6 2019, 6:17 AM EST
Joined: 03-19-2004
Posts: 9,464
A woman was in court yesterday for attempting to cut off her husband's peeniss.
She was off the mark, however, and cut him on his thigh.
She was charged with a "misdewiener". d'oh!
Speyside Offline
#29 Posted: Thu, Jun 6 2019, 7:23 AM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Speyside Offline
#30 Posted: Thu, Jun 6 2019, 7:27 AM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period.
tailgater Offline
#31 Posted: Thu, Jun 6 2019, 9:07 AM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
jespear wrote:
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician ?

He worked it out with a pencil.


When the proctologist tried to write with a thermometer, he exclaimed "some azzhole must have my pen!"
jespear Offline
#32 Posted: Thu, Jun 6 2019, 5:53 PM EST
Joined: 03-19-2004
Posts: 9,464
tailgater wrote:
When the proctologist tried to write with a thermometer, he exclaimed "some azzhole must have my pen!"


What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer ?
The taste !
Speyside Offline
#33 Posted: Thu, Jun 6 2019, 9:14 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Math Teacher: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other hand, what do I have?"
Student: "A drinking problem."
tailgater Offline
#34 Posted: Fri, Jun 7 2019, 3:04 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Before my surgery, the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.

It was an ether/oar situation.
Speyside Offline
#35 Posted: Fri, Jun 7 2019, 3:32 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Joe, you're making me LMAO!!! Thanks. I hoped this post would become enjoyable
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