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Last post 2 months ago by DrMaddVibe. 19 replies replies.
Trevor Noah’s best burns at the White House correspondents’ dinner
rfenst Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 36,625
WAPO
Trevor Noah took aim at cable news channels and their big-name anchors during his relatively safe set at Saturday night’s White House correspondents’ dinner. Noah was the first comedian to headline the annual event since Michelle Wolf caused a stir with her roasts in 2018; writer Ron Chernow spoke the next year.

The crowd at the Washington Hilton laughed and, at times, gasped as Noah made jabs at President Biden for not being able to fulfill his promises, at CNN for investing in questionable business propositions (RIP CNN Plus) and at journalists in general for spending way too much time on social media.

Here are the best burns from Noah’s speech.


— “You guys spent the last two years telling everyone about the importance of wearing masks and avoiding large, indoor gatherings. Then the second someone offers you a free dinner, you all turn into Joe Rogan, huh?”


— “I’m not doing this just for the attention. I’m a comedian, not Kyrsten Sinema.”


— “I know a lot of you are worried and, yes, it is risky making jokes these days. We all saw what happened at the Oscars. I’ve actually been a bit worried about tonight, I won’t lie. What if I make a really mean joke about Kellyanne Conway and her husband rushes up on the stage and thanks me?”


— “What I like about Ron DeSantis is if Trump was the original Terminator, DeSantis is like the T-1000. You’re smarter than him. You’re slicker than him. You can walk down ramps. Trump said he won the election, but everyone was able to look at the numbers and see that he was wrong. That’s why Ron DeSantis is one step ahead. First you ban the math textbooks, then nobody knows how to count the votes.”


- "A lot of you are worried and, yes, it is risky making jokes these days. We all saw what happened at the Oscars. I’ve actually been a bit worried about tonight, I won’t lie. What if I make a really mean joke about Kellyanne Conway and her husband rushes up on the stage and thanks me?”


— “What I like about Ron DeSantis is if Trump was the original Terminator, DeSantis is like the T-1000. You’re smarter than him. You’re slicker than him. You can walk down ramps. Trump said he won the election, but everyone was able to look at the numbers and see that he was wrong. That’s why Ron DeSantis is one step ahead. First you ban the math textbooks, then nobody knows how to count the votes.”


— “The great chef José Andrés is joining us tonight. … Whenever there’s a disaster anywhere in the world, Chef José is there. Which I guess is why he’s sitting at the CNN table tonight.”


— To Biden: “I was a little confused about: Why me? But then I was told you get your highest approval ratings with a biracial African guy standing next to you.”


— “Interesting fact: Even as first lady, Dr. Biden continued her teaching career, the first time a presidential spouse has ever done so. Congratulations. You might think it’s because she loves teaching so much, but it’s actually because she’s still paying off her student debt. I’m sorry about that, Jill. Guess you should’ve voted for Bernie.”


— “As you all know, President Biden’s lack of a filter does get him into hot water sometimes. Last month, he caused a huge international scandal saying that Vladimir Putin should be removed from power. It was very, very upsetting to Russia. Until someone explained to them that none of the stuff Biden wants actually gets done.”


— “Think of all the journalists whose careers have been hurt by the Biden presidency. People like Daniel Dale. He used to be CNN’s fact-checker on TV every day but now there’s barely anything to check. Same for Glenn Kessler at The Washington Post. On the way here, I saw him offering four Pinocchios for a dollar. Mr. President, that’s on you. What about Maggie Haberman? For four years, it was exclusives. … Now look at her. She spends all day fighting with random people on Twitter like a common political reporter.”


— “Fox News is sort of like a Waffle House. It’s relatively normal in the afternoon, but as soon as the sun goes down, there’s a drunk lady named Jeanine threatening to fight every Mexican who comes in.”


— “Apparently Jeff [Zucker] got fired after he tried to keep his workplace relationship a secret, which is weird because if he really didn’t want anyone to know about it, he could’ve just made a show about it on CNN Plus.”


— “They spent $300 million on CNN Plus. Three hundred million. Can I be honest, CNN? I think Stanley Tucci was playing you guys. I think that dude knew exactly where Italy was and he was just going to keep searching as long as you were paying.”


— “This is the golden era of conspiracy theories, whether it’s the right wing believing Trump can still win the 2020 election, or the left believing Joe Biden can still win the 2024 election.”


— “Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you. Please be careful leaving tonight. We all know this administration doesn’t handle evacuations well.”
RayR Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 07-20-2020
Posts: 5,436

Why did the New York Times omit the one when Noah was talking directly to Biden, “Since You’ve Come Into Office, Things Are Really Looking Up – Gas Is Up, Rent is Up, Food is Up!” He could have said a lot of other bad things that are up too...but there are some things where a lefty has to draw the line. Chicken! 🐔💩

https://twitter.com/kylemartinsen_/status/1520595875487264774
frankj1 Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 41,506
some good ones, Robert. And spread fairly evenly.
I missed a quick clip showing Biden getting off a couple decent one liners, like:

First a horrible plague, then Covid

Sometimes stuff's just funny.
Speyside2 Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 11-11-2021
Posts: 1,863
I was a good show, funny as ever. Also it is nice to see that tradition back after a hiatus.
tailgater Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 25,900
frankj1 wrote:
some good ones, Robert. And spread fairly evenly.
I missed a quick clip showing Biden getting off a couple decent one liners, like:

First a horrible plague, then Covid

Sometimes stuff's just funny.


Did he say that?
That's pretty funny.
frankj1 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 41,506
tailgater wrote:
Did he say that?
That's pretty funny.

I didn't see it happen so who knows.
But you're right, sometimes somebody calls "time out" and it's cool.

Whose gonna explain why we get along to Ray?
JGKAMIN Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 05-08-2011
Posts: 798
tailgater wrote:
Did he say that?
That's pretty funny.

“This is the first time the president has attended this dinner in six years,” Biden observed. “It’s understandable. We had a horrible plague – followed by two years of Covid.”
frankj1 Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 41,506
still a good line

can't remember the exact line but something about being glad to see someone or something with lower ratings than him...

it's funny. everyone, take a break.
JGKAMIN Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 05-08-2011
Posts: 798
It would be funny if it weren’t so true. And nothing like a room full of journalist that hold to the First Amendment yet did nothing as major stories were buried going into an election. Any ‘jokes’ about Hunter’s laptop?
RayR Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 07-20-2020
Posts: 5,436
frankj1 wrote:
some good ones, Robert. And spread fairly evenly.
I missed a quick clip showing Biden getting off a couple decent one liners, like:

First a horrible plague, then Covid

Sometimes stuff's just funny.


Wait a minute. Which came first? Think
frankj1 Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 41,506
RayR wrote:
Wait a minute. Which came first? Think

If I laugh, am I a commie?
I don't want to discourage you from easing up.
humor and light banter are always in season...
RayR Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 07-20-2020
Posts: 5,436
frankj1 wrote:
If I laugh, am I a commie?
I don't want to discourage you from easing up.
humor and light banter are always in season...


If you laugh with commies, then you are a commie.
If you laugh at commies, then you are not a commie.

I never found Trevor Noah to be particularly funny, just a boring woke NY dude with raging TDS. 🥱
So to him, Trump was the "horrible plague", but don't mistake that for a light-hearted joke he makes, he really believes it.


JGKAMIN Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 05-08-2011
Posts: 798
RayR wrote:
If you laugh with commies, then you are a commie.
If you laugh at commies, then you are not a commie.

I never found Trevor Noah to be particularly funny, just a boring woke NY dude with raging TDS. 🥱
So to him, Trump was the "horrible plague", but don't mistake that for a light-hearted joke he makes, he really believes it.



It was Sleepy Joe making that joke, not Noah. Probably same joke writers coming up with the script though.
frankj1 Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 41,506
he's South African I believe.
Not NY
Sunoverbeach Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 10,737
So what if you laugh at a commie, but they don't realize that and start laughing with you to avoid feeling awkward. Are you still a commie for inadvertently laughing with a commie?
frankj1 Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 41,506
Sunoverbeach wrote:
So what if you laugh at a commie, but they don't realize that and start laughing with you to avoid feeling awkward. Are you still a commie for inadvertently laughing with a commie?

forget it. I mistakenly thought I saw a human.
I was wrong.
Sunoverbeach Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 10,737
It was probably the tutu that threw you off
RayR Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 07-20-2020
Posts: 5,436
Ya, Frank gets mistaken a lot when he wears his TuTu.💃🩰
DrMaddVibe Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 51,995
Oh well..at least Will Smith didnt get up there and slap somebody.
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