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Last post 22 months ago by Sunoverbeach. 26 replies replies.
How to identify real cuban gurkhas?
MidwestCigars Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 10-07-2019
Posts: 36
So I think I just made a killer trade on some legit cuban gurkha habanos, traded up some worthless padron 1964's and liga 9's. How do I make sure that my habano warpigs are legit? And no, they are not for sale.
Plowboy221 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 03-03-2013
Posts: 5,133
Please send a message to TAPS, he can verify the authenticity and value of your Qban turds.
Palama Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,461
MidwestCigars wrote:
So I think I just made a killer trade on some legit cuban gurkha habanos, traded up some worthless padron 1964's and liga 9's. How do I make sure that my habano warpigs are legit? And no, they are not for sale.


Dang! Talk about a SCORE!

Best way to verify if your seegars are too legit to quit is to dissect them. Cut ‘um straight down, lengthwise, and split them open to check for real Qban tobacco. You can easily tell by the copious amounts of stems and seeds. Plus of course, the smell from the thighs of the nekkid virgin that rolled them. Drool
Mandoman Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 12-27-2005
Posts: 4,761
Palama wrote:
Dang! Talk about a SCORE!

Plus of course, the smell from the thighs of the nekkid virgin that rolled them. Drool

Rolled high enough on them nekkid thighs to absorb ball sweat 💦?
MidwestCigars Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 10-07-2019
Posts: 36
Palama wrote:
Dang! Talk about a SCORE!

Best way to verify if your seegars are too legit to quit is to dissect them. Cut ‘um straight down, lengthwise, and split them open to check for real Qban tobacco. You can easily tell by the copious amounts of stems and seeds. Plus of course, the smell from the thighs of the nekkid virgin that rolled them. Drool

I found some feathers in the blend, Is that the ghurkah secret?
frankj1 Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
Mandoman wrote:
Rolled high enough on them nekkid thighs to absorb ball sweat 💦?

you know what? all these years and it never once occurred to me that the virgin doing the rolling was male.
Palama Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,461
frankj1 wrote:
you know what? all these years and it never once occurred to me that the virgin doing the rolling was male.


But if the male roller identifies as female, would that be okay? Think










Probably not.... Blink
frankj1 Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
you smoke yours first...
USNGunner Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 05-17-2019
Posts: 4,402
frankj1 wrote:
you know what? all these years and it never once occurred to me that the virgin doing the rolling was male.


Evidently, you can get a much tighter roll on the lanceros and lonsdales using the testicles rather than the breasts. It's a radius thing. Damned geometry, who knew? Anxious
frankj1 Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
USNGunner wrote:
Evidently, you can get a much tighter roll on the lanceros and lonsdales using the testicles rather than the breasts. It's a radius thing. Damned geometry, who knew? Anxious

Euclid?
tonygraz Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
MidwestCigars wrote:
I found some feathers in the blend, Is that the ghurkah secret?


found one in a Backwoods once, awful smell and taste. C'est La Vie had a check of blue tarp. No problems with Gurkhas.
There are no real Cuban Gurkhas.
MidwestCigars Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 10-07-2019
Posts: 36
tonygraz wrote:
found one in a Backwoods once, awful smell and taste. C'est La Vie had a check of blue tarp. No problems with Gurkhas.
There are no real Cuban Gurkhas.

I just got off the teléfono con el presidente de Gurkha en cuba. He told me to remove my postings about the feather being a secret ingredient in the cuban gurkha blend. Apparently from what I could comprehend, he told me the cuban pelicans eat the tobacco and spread their feces in the tobacco fields so that it helps the new grown tobacco have a extra ligero flavor and the sea water it has digested along with a couple of clown fish that it has in its diet gives it that sea water salty flavor too. Apparently the cuban pelican feathers are put in during the fermentation and aging process but rarely do the feathers get made into a blend since the cuban pelican is protected and illegal to send out of cuba since it is their equivalent to our bald eagle. God I love gurkhas.
izonfire Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,642
Palama wrote:
Best way to verify if your seegars are too legit to quit is to dissect them. Cut ‘um straight down, lengthwise, and split them open to check for real Qban tobacco. You can easily tell by the copious amounts of stems and seeds. Plus of course, the smell from the thighs of the nekkid virgin that rolled them. Drool

Ya gotta do that with ALL of your cigars. Every single one, just to be sure. Then scotch tape em together again and smoke up!
USNGunner Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 05-17-2019
Posts: 4,402
frankj1 wrote:
Euclid?


Well yeah! He knew. But who else would have? Not me smarty! Frying pan
Whistlebritches Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,127
frankj1 wrote:
you know what? all these years and it never once occurred to me that the virgin doing the rolling was male.


Of all the posters here you are the one that I thought would've covered this...…..How do you think they make the molds Frank?

If they ever need a 12X90 mold...…...well lets just say you still have a shot at the Big Leagues Frank
clintCigar Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 05-14-2019
Posts: 4,682
#winning
clickbangdead Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 01-31-2009
Posts: 2,214
Silly, everyone knows that the finest Cuban Gurkha's are hand picked, infused with rare grape or pineapple essence and hermetically sealed in the finest synthetic polymer tubes for distribution and consumption by the most discerning cigar smokers.
frankj1 Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
Whistlebritches wrote:
Of all the posters here you are the one that I thought would've covered this...…..How do you think they make the molds Frank?

If they ever need a 12X90 mold...…...well lets just say you still have a shot at the Big Leagues Frank

so great!
MidwestCigars Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 10-07-2019
Posts: 36
clickbangdead wrote:
Silly, everyone knows that the finest Cuban Gurkha's are hand picked, infused with rare grape or pineapple essence and hermetically sealed in the finest synthetic polymer tubes for distribution and consumption by the most discerning cigar smokers.

I think that's also part of the blend. I heard about how Castro invented that process after siezing some old nazi scientist paperwork.
tonygraz Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
frankj1 wrote:
Euclid?


I would have gone with Pythagoras, but then I had some problems with geometry.
24132413 Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 01-25-2017
Posts: 555
THIS IS A FAKE NEWS THREAD!!!! Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh
Palama Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,461
I miss Vince.
Sunoverbeach Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,586
+1
corey sellers Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 08-21-2011
Posts: 10,338
+2
delta1 Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,754
+3

he was my noob...hope he's OK...he disappeared and has not opened the PM I sent...
Sunoverbeach Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,586
Got fed up early with the politispread in here. Doing well last I heard, but it's been a while.
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