America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
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Last post 21 months ago by Palama. 23 replies replies.
Cheapskate
tailgater Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Yeah, you...you heard me. You're all a bunch of cheapskates. I recently visited a different board of similar subject matter. Upon arrival, many of the existing clan offered freebie smokes for my enjoyment. But when I hopped on board here a couple of months ago did I get any offers? NOOOOO! Instead I got treated like a rookie puffer, and no one even snickered at my feeble attempts at wit. Shame on all of you... If you'd like to make restitution, I am currently accepting donations of Padron Aniv, Opus X, and any real Habanos. Ashton VSG would be OK, too, if you have nothing better. But don't think that this will make me like all of you. I'm not that easy... You can send all donations to: 1313 Cheapbastard Rd / Ihavenopride, Iowa 99999. As Bob Marley once said: "Stir it up..."
hegemonic Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 01-17-2000
Posts: 1,294
I only have a box of Habanos Cohiba Esplendidos for you, I hope it's acceptable, oh yeah, I'm sending it in a Mercedes SLK stretch limo and it's getting delivered to you by the Playboy Bunnies, feel free to keep the car, the driver and the women :) Happy Herfing ;)
robnsue Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 02-23-2000
Posts: 269
Why do all cheapskates live in Iowa?
squattro Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 02-21-2000
Posts: 165
What's in it for us?
tailgater Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
The cohibas and the women are a nice touch, but I'm more of a Porche man myself. As for the Iowa address, that's just my dream home location. Currently, I live in Hope Arkansas. For some strange reason, the real estate is amazingly affordable there (but the cigars taste funny....)
Sedayleb Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 05-24-2000
Posts: 3
Can't get something for nothing,so what are you willing to trade on? I'm sure you can do better than those little old cheap cigars your asking for? perdom reserve ,camarroom maybe?
Sedayleb Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 05-24-2000
Posts: 3
How do you like aurturo fuentes,Habana golds,CAO camarroons? If you don't mind me asking? I see you like the cohiba's.
Sedayleb Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 05-24-2000
Posts: 3
Probably nothing but some old plugged off brands.
aberdeen Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 06-11-1999
Posts: 741
People the whole thing is a scam, and you bought it hook line and sinker? Happens all the time. Last week on the "I've a big bottom" board, someone came flying in, saying was given free buckets of lard from the "I don't care what kind of hot dogs you eat" board, and soon there were offers flying in to give him grease soaked bread and day old frying pan fat. One guy even offered to deep fry his Thanksgiving turkey in his huge vat of fat, by which he lowers the turkey in it via pulley.
CL Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2000
Posts: 855
Hmmm.... Now what exactly was it we bought? Personally, my skates were rather pricey.
hegemonic Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 01-17-2000
Posts: 1,294
It was a scam!? Damn it! I already sent that limo with the cigars and women! It cost me a fortune and now some schmuck at 1313 Cheapbastard Rd / Ihavenopride, Iowa 99999 is going to get them delivered to him. Whoever lives there probably doesn't even smoke cigars! Ah man, I just realized that that address DOESN'T EVEN EXIST and I didn't write a return address! What a waste of money. This is the last time I send things out to people to be polite. ;)
tailgater Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
Received the smokes via the limo today! Thanks for everything, but I have some complaints regarding the woman who delivered these. Beautiful, yes, but I'm not into the whole silicone breast thing. And every time I kissed her I couldn't help but notice that she had a huge adams apple....hmmmm. And she smelled like Old Spice for some reason. Other than than, and her deep voice, she was a knock out. Heck, she even carried me back into the house after our night of drinking and smoking. What a woman!
hegemonic Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 01-17-2000
Posts: 1,294
You are more than welcome :) The adam's apple that Veronica had on her throat is really a collagen implant in her lips that was put in loose and slipped down into her throat. It's a bit unsightly, but take it or leave it, you gotta admit, she's one hell of a drinker and smokes a cigar till she burns her fingers. Rumor has it that she is impervious to pain... Anyway, you're welcome, happy herfing!
Pork Chop Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 07-17-2000
Posts: 53
I saw the thread title and thought you guys were looking for me.
nevermind
Wazoo
Palama Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,461
Haha!
Sunoverbeach Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,586
I was going to say they named a thread after me, but I'm 22yrs late for that joke
Telecaster52 Online
#17 Posted:
Joined: 04-22-2022
Posts: 597
Sunoverbeach wrote:
I was going to say they named a thread after me, but I'm 22yrs late for that joke



Dude 2000 was 22 years ago ya makin me feel aged like I was put in the back of the cooler and forgotten.
Telecaster52 Online
#18 Posted:
Joined: 04-22-2022
Posts: 597
But Sob if you need a welcome package I'll hook you up.
tonygraz Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,175
Tailgator was a complainer even 22 years ago.
Sunoverbeach Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 08-11-2017
Posts: 14,586
Telecaster52 wrote:
But Sob if you need a welcome package I'll hook you up.

No such measure needed, thank you kindly
bgz Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 07-29-2014
Posts: 13,023
tonygraz wrote:
Tailgator was a complainer even 22 years ago.


They say you get worse with age... So he really must b*tch a lot now.
frankj1 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,211
tailgater wrote:
Received the smokes via the limo today! Thanks for everything, but I have some complaints regarding the woman who delivered these. Beautiful, yes, but I'm not into the whole silicone breast thing. And every time I kissed her I couldn't help but notice that she had a huge adams apple....hmmmm. And she smelled like Old Spice for some reason. Other than than, and her deep voice, she was a knock out. Heck, she even carried me back into the house after our night of drinking and smoking. What a woman!

Lola?
Palama Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,461
frankj1 wrote:
Lola?


It’s a mixed up world.
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