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Last post 21 years ago by RDC. 19 replies replies.
Things your wife will never say -
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[email protected] Offline
#1 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:46 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
1. Are you sure you've had enough to drink?
2. I'm bored - let's have sex!
3. Wouldn't you rather be down at the bar with your buddies?
4. WOW - that was a great fart - do it again!
5. I've decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.
6. You're so sexy when you're hungover.
7. I'd rather watch the game and drink beer with you than go shopping.
8. OH - let's not forget to renew our subscription to Hustler.
9. Have I shown you the pictures of me and my girlfriend?
10. That's ok - I'll cut the grass this weekend.
11. I love it when you play golf on Sundays ... I wish you had time to play on Saturday as well.
12. Honey, the neighbor's daughter is sunbathing again, hurry quickly or you may miss it.
13. Can I take the car in for an oil change?
14. Your mother is much more fun than mine.
15. Is it ok if we get some beer, do some shots, and invite my girlfriend Tammy over for the night?
16. Oh, not the mall again ... why don't we check out that new strip-joint on the other side of town.
17. Listen, I make enough money for the both of us. Why don't you retire early and work on getting your handicap down to 7 or 8.
18. I signed up for yoga so that I can learn to get my ankles behind my head just for you.
19. Are you sure you don't want to have sex again today?
20. I understand fully ... our anniversary comes every year, you go hunting with the guys ... it's a wonderful stress reliever.
Penguin13 Offline
#2 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:48 AM EST
Joined: 07-26-2002
Posts: 1,546
ROFLMAS!!

KC
Penguin13 Offline
#3 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:48 AM EST
Joined: 07-26-2002
Posts: 1,546
#4 really got me :)

KC
Lowman Offline
#4 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:56 AM EST
Joined: 12-03-2002
Posts: 6,982
LOL !!
HarleyDave Offline
#5 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 10:57 AM EST
Joined: 03-10-2003
Posts: 1,550
Wife's don't say those things??? Remind me not to get married!
E-Chick Offline
#6 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 12:54 PM EST
Joined: 06-15-2002
Posts: 4,877
You left off:

Here you go honey, take my high limit credit card that I've been saving for a rainy day...go use it on what ever you want on that cbid thingy...oh, and by me some too...let's smoke them in the bedroom...
Grizzled.Old.Board.Purest Offline
#7 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 1:02 PM EST
Joined: 05-05-2003
Posts: 99
heh, actually, my wife doesn't mind if I smoke a cigar in the bedroom. As long as the windows are open and the weather is nice. Of course, this was "PB" Pre-baby... I may be "PB" Permanently Banished to the porch from now on...

She’s also pretty good about not b!tching about cbid. We reached an agreement. I get 60 bux a week to do with as I please. I can go out and have beers, play poker with the boys, or scope out deals on cigarbid. I’ve been doing the later and laying up stores for 2 years out (aging) like the box of Classico Belis I just got today. An occasional 5 pack of something to try, and I’m happy as a pig.

Not too many good women out there like her (or you Marla).
E-Chick Offline
#8 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 1:10 PM EST
Joined: 06-15-2002
Posts: 4,877
: )
E-Chick Offline
#9 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 1:11 PM EST
Joined: 06-15-2002
Posts: 4,877
: )
Homebrew Offline
#10 Posted: Tue, May 6 2003, 5:54 PM EST
Joined: 02-11-2003
Posts: 11,885
If there were, I'd probably be married.
SteveS Offline
#11 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 4:40 AM EST
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
#7 is something mine DOES say ...
RDC Offline
#12 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 6:22 AM EST
Joined: 01-21-2000
Posts: 5,874
She may or may not say...

Yes honey, I am just as hot for E-Chick as you are. Lets have her over for some fun tonight.
E-Chick Offline
#13 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 12:04 PM EST
Joined: 06-15-2002
Posts: 4,877
: )

cwilhelmi Offline
#14 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 12:11 PM EST
Joined: 07-24-2001
Posts: 2,739
Things she'll never say

"You're right" and "I'm wrong"
:)
rastusmcnair Offline
#15 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 3:00 PM EST
Joined: 03-01-2003
Posts: 1,845
Actually, I hear 2, 10, and 19 pretty often.
Spiny Norman Offline
#16 Posted: Wed, May 7 2003, 3:34 PM EST
Joined: 09-04-2002
Posts: 899
Yea, but what does she say when your awake?

















Sorry, too good an opening to pass up.
RDC Offline
#17 Posted: Thu, May 8 2003, 7:39 AM EST
Joined: 01-21-2000
Posts: 5,874
25 Things Your Wife Is Unlikely To Say

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. I know I'm sore, and my parents are sleeping in the other room, I still want you right now!

3. This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.

4. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot

5. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse

6. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch pornos again?

7. I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter, Tracy.

8. You're my daddy, you're my daddy!

9. The new girl in my office used to be a stripper, so Iinvited her over for dinner on Friday.

10. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!

11. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

12. Bar food again!? Kick ass!

13. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your Ex-girlfriend really has class.

14. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am, Cool, I'm gonna go over

15. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

16. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentines Day present, thanks "Poopy".

17. Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.

18. I've decided to buy myself a boob job, How big do you want 'em?

19. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

20. Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

21. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

22. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

23. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars, scotch and morning breath. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!

24. You are so much smarter than my father.

25. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sports Center.

E-Chick Offline
#18 Posted: Thu, May 8 2003, 8:30 AM EST
Joined: 06-15-2002
Posts: 4,877
Ok, I tried a few on Jimmy's list today...

4. WOW - that was a great fart - do it again...

It was huge, but there was hardly any reserves to replicate the first blowout...it was funny anyway and I blew him away...

So I then resorted to 19. Are you sure you don't want to have sex again today?

He had to go to work...oh well, he'll get off sooner or later!

; )~
[email protected] Offline
#19 Posted: Fri, May 9 2003, 4:33 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
... Marla -

... how many times does 4 go into 19 ... ?
RDC Offline
#20 Posted: Fri, May 9 2003, 5:14 AM EST
Joined: 01-21-2000
Posts: 5,874
Is that like how many times have you been eight?
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