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I have a 20 year old nephew that's planning to get married soon. A part of me wants to tell this kid what an amazingly bad idea it is to throw away his freedom at age 20. Yet I know that telling him this will only make him feel rebellious and he'll want to get married even more.

At this point I think he's too far gone to be saved but it occured to me to ask this question to you old married guys:

Knowing what you know today --that's important-- if you could turn back the clock and be 20 and free as a bird, what would you be doing if you could do whatever you want? And would you consider marriage?

I would have made a damn poor husband at 20! If I could have 20 again what would I do? Join the Marines!

If he's 20, I give it two years, max...

I have always joked that I am an endangered species. An Arkansas native, who has never been married, never had kids, and straight. At 39, thats an accomplishment. But I may have met my match, we'll see.
ANyway at 20, the boy is making a big mistake. He'll end up regreting it. Hire him a hooker, take pictures, and send them to her. Just don't let him catch you at it. LOL Just joking.
Later
Dave A.K.A. Homebrew

I managed to stay single until I was 35. Had a blast. Went through all my bad habits until I was tired of them. Traveled all over the place. Skied everywhere. Did anything I wanted for as long as I wanted as often as I wanted.

I burned every ounce of bachelorhood away until I was ready to stop. I found my wife and I am happy to be here. I got all the garbage out of my system so I didn't have to have her witness all the stupidity.

Marriage is great.

Got married at the age of 35. Had my fun and my life is over.

I recommend marriage to anyone that isn't single.

I got married at 29. I wanted to get married at 20 but was in college and decided to wait until I graduated. I'm glad I did. People change a lot during that time. Had I married the girl I was dating at 20 I would be very miserable now because I changed a lot. I had a lot of growing up to do and a lot of maturity that needed to be gained (although I still haven't gained all of it). Now I'm married to a wonderful woman. If I could go back I wouldn't change a thing. (well except maybe to fool around more before I got married but oh well).

Very few people have any inkling of who they really are or what they really want at age 20, especially these days when options are wide open and, in many cases, responsibility and maturity are delayed as compared with previous generations. I think this makes it very hard to stick with such a serious and long-term commitment as marriage at such a young age, at least for most 20 year olds. Of course, there are many shining exceptions as some here have attested. But, in the end, there's nothing you can do with a 20 year old whose mind is made up. Good luck to him and his wife-to-be.

Ahhhhh Let em go Ugly Early... good learning experience... who knows maybe it will work out... But in this day and age... my moneys on the NOT...
I dove into a highschool sweetheart, knocked her up her Senior Year (she missed her Graduation because she delivered a beautiful little girl that night) I finished Junior year of School and rolled my sleeves up and went to work... followed up my Education, we decided to wait on getting married for a couple years... when she became pregnant with my Son (second of three) we decided to tie the knot.. or Noose, this was around the Reagan Years and work got scarice.. so I went to Florida for work... (Booming) came back home a month later moved the family down there... was working 2-3 jobs and loving it...Construction (carpenter) by Day... and Worked the Air-Port Baggage handeling at night and every other weekend... 8 months later I come home from work and she tells me we're heading back to Illinois for a Vacation!!! already had the Airline Tickets and the whole Chibang!!!! So humdy dumbdy I followed 8 day vacation turned into (once back in Illinois) I'm not going back... HUH??? Nope I found a job here in Illinois and I'm staying so you can stay here and find work also... or you can leave... we lived with her Mom and Dad for about 6 Killer Months...Couldn't find work and she ended up Pregnant again #3 I couldn't find work So I did the Best thing in my Young Life.. I joined the Air National Guard, came home from basic training and went to work...Weekend Warrior!!!! I bumped a few carpenter jobs along the way and then in 86 my dad calls me up.. say's he has a job (sheet Metal work in Florida) couple weeks worth for a couple grand Cash... I took it headed to Florida... first week down I call home on a Good Friday... Hi Honey.. one more week and I'll be home... Well You'll find your **** on the front porch... I borrowed the money from my Dad and filed for a divorce... you'll be getting the papers in a few days...Wow.. ever drive straight through Orlando to Central Illinois 16 hrs... sure enough my things were on the Porch and the Next door neighbor was moved in!!!
I loaded up the truck, Highered a Lawyer and away we go... 3 weeks into seperation I get a phone Call... I want you Back... (Sucker) kids I love my Kids... moved back in... on the stipulation everything comes out on the Table and we start going to Church and try and get our lives and head level...was finally accepted into the local carpenters, we bought a house church and community things were going well...(so I thought) 2 years go by... she stops going to church always an excuse of some sort.. kids and I and sometimes by myself I stuck with it...7 yrs of later BS and credit cards maxed out bill collectors on our A$$, and nothing in the bank showing where the money's gone.. for a couple who made well of 4 grand a month... argument after argument about the checkbook and the bills...then comes the computer... the Chat... the late night wake-ups and phone calls... 1500 bucks in phone bills... and then I retreive the mailman one day... I get to see whats up...Many Many Calls to Canada,Texas,arkensas, Chicago, California that was the Icing for the Cake... I left on a trip with our Unit... the Thursday before my return trip home I call to see how things are... Again I am told she wants me out... Ok Pack my **** I'll be home tomorrow... (again I started playing the Suck-Up.. we can work it out Routine on my drive home... Nope not this time... I packed my things... moved in with my Mommy for a couple months...Highered another lawyer and filed for divorce... by christmas Mr. Internet Cali dude moved in to play Daddy.... myself I shut off anything that had me attached to the other end of a 19 yr nightmare Other then the 3 Beautiful Children I have now... so then the court battle... I'm holding Insurance on the Car and House because she let it drop... then the kids need this and that... at the same time I'm paying through the courts my aquired child support... From that point on. No Where But UP!!!! the Lawyers boned me in court.. I held my head up high...took it like a man... I got one more year of child support and my bills are paid off... I met own a house, new Truck, had a Harley for 9 yrs...(will have again by next Spring) and to boot a Woman I wished I had met Years ago... accept for the both of us confessing we wouldn't have the things we cherish now if we'd met many years back instead of the roads we both have hoed to this day... (4 years between as a Bachlor, and I made the best of the things I was missing with the previous Marrage) would I do it again?? for the Kids Sake hell yes... to know what I know now with no kids involved... Hell NO!!!!!!

my only goal now is to live out my life with my Present Wife and enjoy our 6 kids togethers Grandkids and their lives!!!!!

for your Son... right now at that age their in love... the only thing we as parents can do is sit back let Them work it out... and be there in case it doesn't...

just remember the words (I Told you So) will always cause a resentment in anyones heart!!!! Best to say nothing at all...

just my Buck 250!!!
Hog

.... take him out to strip joint and get him laid ...

I got engaged at age 19 to the girl that I had been dating for two years. Two years later we got married. We have been married for eight years now, and I would not give up a single day. I think that what age you get married at means nothing. If you are still a dumb kid at 25 or 35, then your marriage will still be f' ed up.


J