NOTE: SECRET DOCUMENT
MEMO RE: We must counter-act Bush manliness image
Dear Fellow Democrat:
Many of our members have had angst about the President’s showy landing on the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln. Mainstream Americans (such as the Dixie Chicks, Martin Sheen, and Janeane Garofalo) overwhelmingly agree with us that this was wrong, and just totally inappropriate. However, a hundred million Americans for some reason thought this was cool.
Fear not. Your Democratic Operative Response Committee Soldiers
(DORKS) have come up with ways to fight fire with fire. It seems our Presidential candidates—all except Carol Mosely Braun—are viewed as effeminate and wimpy. Consultants tell us we need to be a little more manly (yipes, just using the word is challenging!).
DORK suggests doing the following to be seen as more manly:
1) Go to the Rainforest exhibit at the National Zoo. Make manly poses in front of the fauna. Do a press release on how you braved wild animals and unfriendly natives to save the Rainforest. (IMPT NOTE:
Banana Republic has some real stylish jungle gear on sale.)
2) As Ms. Pelosi said, “We could have torn down that Saddam Hussein statue much cheaper.” Let’s show them! Make a paper mache` Saddam Hussein statue. Be sure it’s sprayed with metallic paint. Put it in a town square and knock it down with a sledge hammer. People will be amazed, not just with your manly strength, but that they’ve never noticed the statue before. (Reminder: Don’t forget to recycle when you’re finished!)
3) Over the May break, host a Super Bowl Party! (NOTE: None of the DORKS knew exactly what this is, but it seems like Republicans have one at least once a year.) It’s apparently very manly.
4) Go to a construction site, and – well, we’re not sure what people do there, but there are lots of manly men. Use terms like jack hammer, I-beam, rod buster and plumb line, and maybe they’ll let you pose with them wearing a hard hat.
5) If your campaign is really strapped for cash, the DCCC has arranged to have some life-size, cut-out, action photos in our main lobby. You can stand by Cowboy Bob, Oil Rig Ralph, or Firefighter Frank. They look great and truly give you that man among men image.
The DORK members (the DORKS) know all this is radical. So, afterwards, in order to get back in touch with your inner self, we will be hosting a hug-in as an NPR fund raiser. So, put on your favorite white turtle neck, horn-rimmed glasses and earth shoes and come on over! French wine and cheese will be served.
DORK Feel Good About Us Memo #17
