>NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN!
>
>
>BUYAGRA: Stimulant to be taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
>duration
>of spending spree.
>
>MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to
>such
>lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. Can we get naked now?"
>
>ST. MOM'S WORT: Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering
>preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
>
>EMPTY NESTROGEN: Highly effective supplement that eliminates melancholy by
>enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you
>couldn't
>wait till they moved out.
>
>PEPTO-BIMBO: Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed
>before an
>evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
>flirting.
>
>DUMMEROL: When taken with Pepto-bimbo, can cause lowering of IQ, causing
>enjoyment of loud country music and cheap beer.
>
>FLIPITOR: Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage
>and
>the urge to flip off other drivers.
>
>JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your
>birthday, anniversary, or phone number.
>
>ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone
>too
>eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
>
>RAGAMET: When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as
>nagging
>on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
>herself.
>
>DAMMITOL: Take two and the rest of the world can go to hell for 8 hours!
