Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months:
I don't like to interrupt her.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Marriage is a 3-ring circus:
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.
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Our last fight was my fault:
My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and
said, "I haven't eaten anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."
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A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next
day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
