i have a physical disability. that's the only thing i've ever wanted/needed help over. i came from an impoverished, addiction-riddled, violent neighborhood and an abusive as hell household.
most of the people i grew up with ended up in jail/prison, having babies in their mid-teens, hooked on any variety of drugs and drink, or simply dead at an early age.
there were two of us, me and my best buddy, who "got out" of it all, headed on to college, got our studies in with good grades, went on to stable careers and started families (well, i've no kids yet, but i did marry a wonderful, wonderful woman in october) -- basically living the american dream.
now either of us could jump up and say "daddy beat us!" or "we had a rough upbringing!" and just go on blaming anything and everything bad in life on the past. but we don't. we saw the victims all around us and have heard every excuse in the book for failing in life. doesn't mean much to me.
as my buddy said recently, "you know, if we can hack it, anyone can!" and he's right. life was very, very, very tough for both of us, but we just never accepted our "victim" status. survivors, yes. victims, never.
one of my mantras is "there are 1,000 reasons but NOT ONE EXCUSE."
the one thing blocking my way so to speak -- physical disability -- is something that's no one's "fault." but really, aside from such "acts of god" (for lack of a better term), i really can't think of a single "bad thing" that has happened in my life that MADE me lay down and cry victim.
we have choices, all of us. we can't help where we come from, but where we go is up to us -- the trick is to not buy into the victim role, to keep your humanity and never, ever, ever surrender.
antonio
