*laugh* thanks, guys.
yep, that's a tattoo on my arm. i grew up in a very rough and violent neighborhood, and i gave as good as i got. i saw a lot of good brothers end up screwed for life and saw all the pain their families went through as a result of the endless revenge seeking. when i decided that i wasn't going to particpate in the random violence b.s. any more, i got the tat -- it's a rapier-sword w/a blood drop at the tip. on the handle, though, is a thorn on the inside, so the person who grabs the sword sheds his own blood first. just kind of permanent reminder.
and yeah, i'm a big mofo. LOL just a gentle giant though. yeah. that's my story, and i'm stickin' with it!
bloody spaniard: yep, i'm disabled and nope, i don't mind talking about it. at first i wouldn't, and i refused to use a cane in public or anything that made me look like a "gimp."
(long explanation of health stuff, if you wanna stop reading) LOL
basically, i hurt my lower back on duty back in '97 and could barely walk for 2 years. my SI joint is still pretty fried, and my back can just "go out" at any time. also makes it painful to sleep, so i end up not sleeping much and falling asleep at random.
that's not what did me in, though. after a simple ankle sprain in jan 2001, i developed a disorder, RSDS -- Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophe Syndrome. it's basically a combination of severe (and extremely painful) nerve, skin and muscle damage. i can't feel my left foot at all, and without pain meds, the rest of my leg feels like 1,000 little devils stabbing me at random with pitchforks.
along with the nerve damage, other symptoms include edema (swelling), and both legs occasionally swell to over twice their normal size. the skin sometimes splits open when this happens, causing open wounds that are hard to heal. there are also skin changes in my lower legs from where a wound opens, heals, splits open again, repeat -- i've got patches that kinda look like a burn victim's skin does. it also gives a person balance problems, makes the skin thin, shiny and red in places and parts either numb or so sensitive that i can't even tolerate having a sheet over my legs. in later stages, the muscle can deteriorate as well.
there's no known cure, and treatment is limited to controlling symptoms. the GOOD thing, though, is that RSDS can disappear as quickly as it appears. the bad thing is that it can and does spread. in the past few months, it's spread to my hands, making them feel like they're "asleep" much of the time.
thing is, when my legs swell, i have to recline and keep them elevated -- and THAT irritates my SI joint and also works on an old shoulder injury, so after i heal up from an episode from that, i've got a fried out back and shoulder. LOL -- the fun never ends! :)
well, that's prolly more than anyone ever wanted to know!
-siclian tony (as opposed to polish tony and bassdude tony) :)
