just got this from a friend in email -- sorry for the formatting if it's wonky. just had to share. :)
News Anchor Dan Rather, NPR Reporter Cokie Roberts and a U. S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis.
They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader.
The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting
the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and dismember you, do you have
any last requests?"
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl
full of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and
returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to
happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job
till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and
Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U. S. Marine, what is your
final wish?"
"Kick me in the butt," said the Marine." "What?" asked the
leader. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you
to kick me in the butt," insisted the Marine.
So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the butt.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol
from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he
leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with
gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis were dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just
shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the butt?"
"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberal a$$holes call ME
the aggressor?"
