America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
first, best, biggest!

Last post 4 months ago by RiverRatRuss. 25 replies replies.
I'M FINALLY GETTING SPAYED OOOHH HOOO !
Jump to Bottom | Previous Topic | Next Topic
jackconrad Offline
#1 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 7:32 AM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
(\_B_/)
(=’.’=) So i'm on the run !

They ain't callin me NON NUTZ !
(")_(")
lluvia Offline
#2 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 7:33 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
um that would be neutered unless you have something to share with us, jackbunny
[email protected] Offline
#3 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 7:36 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ ... why even bother at your age ... it's not like you're going to use it anyway ... LOL

... besides ... getting smacked on the nose with a newspaper is a lot less painless than getting the boys 'snipped' ...
lluvia Offline
#4 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 7:38 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
just make sure you do the follow up sperm count lab work!
[email protected] Offline
#5 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 7:41 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ ... should I ask 'why' this is so impotant to you???


... err.... important I mean ...
jackconrad Offline
#6 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 7:59 AM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
(\_B_/)
(=’.’=)
(")_(") Cats it dey will never get me , I'll still have proud puppies when i izz 90 !
jackconrad Offline
#7 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:00 AM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
(\_B_/)
(=’.’=)
(")_(") BTW , this is a continuation of the "I'm getting paid, I'm geting Laid" nonsensical post..
lluvia Offline
#8 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:01 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
they don't take off your nuts, jackbunny

[eyes rollin'] ahahahha
[email protected] Offline
#9 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:11 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ ... they may if it's a female doctor and we show her all of the pictures he's posted here and one of them turns out to be her daughter or neice ... LOL
jackconrad Offline
#10 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:25 AM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
(\_B_/)
(=’.’=)
(")_(")No way !
dpnewell Offline
#11 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:26 AM EST
Joined: 03-16-2009
Posts: 7,491
You idiots are far braver than I. No one is coming anywhere near my boys with a knife.

I also hear that you talk an octive higher after the procedure.

What's that "Family Guy" quote? Oh yes, "sex without potency is pointless".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihMDLCS27gM

David
[email protected] Offline
#12 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:30 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
and Jack ... fyi ... my doctor would NOT give me any pain relievers at ALL after I got snipped ...

... his analogy was that as long as I was in pain ... I'd behave myself ....

... and one of these days ... I'll share the story about how my wife put me in the hospital a week after my "snip" surgery ...

... it involved a North Eastern Snow Storm (Blizzard actually), a huge snowblower, a Ford Explorer and a car with a manual transmission ...

... when I got to the ER ... the Nurse fainted when she saw what happened ...
lluvia Offline
#13 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 8:43 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
OMG! jimmy that sounds awful
[email protected] Offline
#14 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 9:09 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ it was ... in a "nutshell" ...

- BIG BLIZZARD
- Wife was "out shopping" like an idiot
- Wife took the Explorer with AWD (V-8), new winter tires, etc...
- I was out 'walking' slowly behind the snowblower and clearing the sidewalk & driveway (surgery was 7 days before this)
- I went to start the car so I could move it out of the way to clear the snow
- Car had a manual transmission
- Car had a remote starter which I hardly used
- Clutch/gear safety was 'disabled' to allow automatice starter to work
- Car was NEVER to be left "in gear" so that it would not lurch forward when started
- I started the car with the key... took my foot off the clutch and the car took off forward - causing me to do a "split" and land right on the bottom of the door sill ...

... there I sat in the driveway packing snow on my crotch and the neighbor saw what happened - blood everywhere - and the roads were closed - ambulances could not get through ...

- my wife showed up 20 minutes later after being called by the neighbor
- I drove myself to the ER
- I left the wife at home - I could NOT even speak to her

... pants came down, the Nurse took one look at where I'd 'ruptured' the sutures and split everything open and had part of one hanging out ... she fainted ...

- doctor gave me morphine immediately and was surprised I could even have gotten to the ER and then I had immediate surgery ...

- everything got 'fixed' ... my wife will NEVER live this down ...

So Jack ... enjoy your surgery ... I'm sure nothing will go wrong ... LOL
lluvia Offline
#15 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 9:17 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
holy crap
[email protected] Offline
#16 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 9:20 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ ... and I never made a sound ... no swearing/cussing... no screaming ...

... I was without sound it hurt so badly ...
[email protected] Offline
#17 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 9:23 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
... then there's another totally different time where I was trying to teach my wife "how" to light a road flare and ended up getting 3rd degree burns on my foot as well as land/fall into a swimming pool in late November and of course the pool liner got burnt as well ...

... I love my wife ... :-)
lluvia Offline
#18 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 10:20 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
ok...now that 2nd story is funny LOL!
neopuritan Offline
#19 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 10:24 AM EST
Joined: 01-01-2007
Posts: 9,648
oh do tell...
[email protected] Offline
#20 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 10:27 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ it would have made a great video ...

- she lit the road flare
- got scared
- threw it to me
- I missed it
- it fell and the end broke off and went into the side of my shoe, melting my sock to my foot and buring my shoe and foot
- Wife yelled "The Pool, The Pool" ... so, being in pain I went to stick my foot in the pool and fell in ...
- Wife, with all of her wisdom - picked up and threw the flare into the pool as well ... but she didn't know that a magnesium based flare would burn underwater ...

- Road Flare $4.99
- Socks $6.00
- Pool liner $ ???

- explaining all of this to the Doctor .... priceless
lluvia Offline
#21 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 10:33 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
RFLMAO! I like your wife already, jimmy ahahaha
[email protected] Offline
#22 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 10:36 AM EST
Joined: 01-25-2002
Posts: 9,719
^ ... oh ... there's many more ... some I can't repeat on here ... but I'll tell you one o.t.p. sometime that will have you in tears ...
lluvia Offline
#23 Posted: Sun, Aug 9 2009, 10:37 AM EST
Joined: 09-14-2008
Posts: 39,062
ahahahha
sounds great, jimmy
Palama Offline
#24 Posted: Wed, Dec 13 2023, 12:28 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,709
Hahahahahahaha!
RiverRatRuss Offline
#25 Posted: Thu, Dec 14 2023, 7:12 AM EST
Joined: 09-02-2022
Posts: 1,035
Ahhh, Miss ol Jack... we used to talk on the phone when we were both Chitfaced after hours.... LOL

Lost touch with JimmyC too.. Met Iluvia out in Arizona in 2014 and her kids... Good Lady, works at the Collage on an Indian reservation we still talk sometimes on FB...
Users browsing this topic
Guest
Back to Top