America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
first, best, biggest!

I apologize in advance if this has already circulated here...but I just received this as an e-mail: I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George Carlin.


I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level
governmental functionary, be it Democratic or Republican!


I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn it!


I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.


I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not
entitle you to anything.


I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it in English.


I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.


I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than
working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put
your pansy ass through four years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be
enlightened.


I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God, when and where they
want to.


My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry
Springer.


I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.


I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing about it.


I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those experts now, when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying, paying, paying?


I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander forty years in the
desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't burned any witches or
been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut-the-hell-up
already.


I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem
and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?


I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you're running
from them.


I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if you're breaking the
law, regardless of what color you are.


I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the
next four years.


I hate those bastards standing in the intersections trying to sell me crap or
trying to guilt me into making donations to their cause. These people should
be targets.


I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.


I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's sex, and this applies even
if you are President of the United States.


And what the hell is going on with gas prices..... again?


If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.


If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know. We
need our country back!

I appreciated George's act (and thought it was pretty cool seeing him on the kiddie program Shiny Time Station as a friendly trainman of some sort), he is obviously an American with a point of view and as such is able to express himself without fear of political and (much?) social backlash. Charelton Heston spoke at Harvard a few graduations ago with a theme not so entirely different. It stopped and made me think. If you're interested, I'll try and dig it up.

What I really wanna know, however, is whether George has too many opus2s/PAN OR PAM torps/VSG torps. If so, I'd gladly let him store some in my humis, no charge.

busdaddy - I love George Carlin as well but don't expect any cigars. He rants in his book about how much he hates cigars and their smokers because they're all rich, white pricks. Obviously I disagree with him on this one, since I am white but neither rich, or a prick(at least I'd like to think so...)

Terrible Ted! He's one badass. How does one live the life of such a hard rock-n-roller with no drugs? Earphones and Stranglehold, now there's a memory. Um, I digress...

echick - and now for something completely different...
you brought up the blonde thing so I thought I'd bring a little levity along those lines.

"A True Blond Story" I tripped over in my archives, supposedly it's uh true:

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert an hour east of Bakersfield, CA. a blonde, new to boating was having a problem. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get her brand new Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane
at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power she applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, she putted over to a nearby marina. Maybe they could tell her what was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything was in perfect working order. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, and the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the guys jumped in
the water to check underneath the boat.

He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.