America's #1 Online Cigar Auction
first, best, biggest!

Last post 21 years ago by usahog. 3 replies replies.
Martha Stewart VS Real Woman
RDC Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 01-21-2000
Posts: 5,874
Martha Stewart Says....

Martha Stewart: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up."

Real Women Say: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad.
Please recite with me the "Real Women's" motto:
"I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Real Women: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, etc., chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?

Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugarcone to prevent ice cream drips.

Real Women: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake.
You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.

Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Real Women: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha Stewart: When a cake recipe calls for flouring
the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead
and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Real Women: Go to the bakery. They will even decorate it for you.

Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.

Real Women: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.

Martha Stewart: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Real Women: Go ask the very cute neighbor to do it.

And finally...the most important tip:
Martha Stewart: Don't throw out all that leftover wine.
Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Real Women: Leftover wine?????????
SteveS Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 01-13-2002
Posts: 8,751
That'd be the same Martha Stewart as the editor of the soon-to-be publication "Martha Stewart Jail Living"
JonR Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 02-19-2002
Posts: 9,740
It's my sad duty to inform this board that Martha Stewart committed suicide tonight, she used a velvet rope with the precise number of knots (13). She left a short suicide note stating: When hanging oneself always wear strap on shoes so they don't fall off when your kicking... It's a good thing. JonR
usahog Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 12-06-1999
Posts: 22,691
does Martha have a recipe whipped up for gettin her A$$ outa Jail???

I'm watchin for the "Chritmas Cookies in the Pen" recipe!!!

Hog
Users browsing this topic
Guest