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Last post 13 years ago by HockeyDad. 51 replies replies.
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World Cannot Believe Mubarak Hasn’t F'ing Left Yet
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#1 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
]linton Calls Egyptian ‘Epic Douche’

CAIRO (The Borowitz Report) – As protests in Egypt enter their second week, the consensus in diplomatic circles is disbelief that Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has not **** left yet.

Around the world, diplomats spoke openly about Mr. Mubarak, often in language reserved for Wikileaks cables, underlining the prevailing opinion that Mr. Mubarak is behaving like a ginormous ******.

“Hosni Mubarak is acting like an in-law who’s stayed too long and can’t take a hint,” said the usually reserved US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. “I have no idea why he’s still **** there, other than to be an epic douche.”

Even President Barack Obama, renowned for his careful choice of words, seemed to be losing patience with Mr. Mubarak: “I never thought I’d say this about someone, but Hosni Mubarak is an even bigger jackass than Kanye.”

In a sign that the US may be trying to send a clear message to Mr. Mubarak, today the State Department dispatched Donald Trump to Egypt.

As people once again filled the streets of Cairo, Fox News said that it could not estimate the crowd size “until we know how many of them are Democrats.”

Meanwhile, CNN’s Wolf Blitzer said that as the crisis deepens in Egypt, “Stay tuned to CNN for up-to-the-minute reports about Charlie Sheen.”


ZRX1200 Offline
#2 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,656
One of your funnier C&P Rick.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#3 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
the dictator or pesident for life of tunisia gave the same speech a few days
ago and went home and packed. early the next morning his wife took several
limos to her bank and withdrew all the money from the bank, not just hers, but all
the money from all the banks in tunisia and the two of them plus his girl
friends flew to saudi arabia.

mubarak will take a few more days, his money hidden in solid 24K gold
place settings, with service for 500 guests. he has to arrange for several
planes to carry the weight of gold to florida, where there are no restrictions
or tax in the importation of personal plates and cups and other food
serving dishes, for former dictators we like,

he will be welcomed by the remainder of the shah of iran's family and the
marcos family and talk about how to steal an entire countries wealth while
imelda changes shoes every 5 minutes
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#4 Posted:
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
one of the shah of iran's hobby's was exceptionally beautiful women from
around the world. personal agents of the shah had instructions to make
arrangements with beautiful women to fly to iran in private planes to spend
one night with him fo which they would be paid $15,000. cash. when he
left iran he kept the list of women with him, probably on a rolodex.

charlie sheen is a piker.
jackconrad Offline
#5 Posted:
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
RICKAMAVEN said "As people once again filled the streets of Cairo, Fox News said that it could not estimate the crowd size “until we know how many of them are Democrats."

”No need to estimate The number is as always, "well over a Million"..
DrMaddVibe Offline
#6 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,552
I wouldn't hold my breath waiting on your request Rick.

It took GW 8 years to "leave", but that's only because of term limits!

LOLZ!!!!Dancing
rfenst Offline
#7 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415
He has already lost face.
He's not going anywhere unless/until he has to.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#8 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,552
You been watching the live feeds?

This is going to spread like cervical cancer.
rfenst Offline
#9 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415
Already has.
delarob Offline
#10 Posted:
Joined: 06-28-2001
Posts: 5,318
None of my biddness. What happens ion Egypt, stays in Egypt.
HockeyDad Offline
#11 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
I'm hoping to pick up some antiquities!
DrMaddVibe Offline
#12 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,552
HockeyDad wrote:
I'm hoping to pick up some antiquities!



Oh yes...we already got one!
HockeyDad Offline
#13 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
Can we have a look?
DrMaddVibe Offline
#14 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,552
Of COURSE not!!!
donutboy2000 Offline
#15 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
Sharia law NOW !
wtjvj Offline
#16 Posted:
Joined: 09-26-2006
Posts: 9,973
send him Pelosi.
donutboy2000 Offline
#17 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
How long before the Suez canal is closed and oil prices skyrocket?
HockeyDad Offline
#18 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
The last time the Suez Canal was threatened to be closed, the French and English seized it.

donutboy2000 Offline
#19 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
Buy DIG !
HockeyDad Offline
#20 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
Too late on DIG. Short it!

rfenst Offline
#21 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415
HockeyDad wrote:
The last time the Suez Canal was threatened to be closed, the French and English seized it.



Who presently gets and sends their oil through the Suez?
donutboy2000 Offline
#22 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
HockeyDad wrote:
Too late on DIG. Short it!




Buy DUG !
jetblasted Offline
#23 Posted:
Joined: 08-30-2004
Posts: 42,595
When was the Suez Canal built?
Gene363 Offline
#24 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,864

So Rick, are you suggesting we invade Egypt and implement regime change?
Gene363 Offline
#25 Posted:
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,864
Chirp chirp

Chirp chirp

Chirp chirp...
rfenst Offline
#26 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415
The Egyptian people should welcome U.S. regime change!
HockeyDad Offline
#27 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
rfenst wrote:
The Egyptian people should welcome U.S. regime change!



Many people having been hoping for US regime change over the last two years.
Stinkdyr Offline
#28 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2009
Posts: 9,948
Egypt needs term limits for all of their politicians.


USA needs term limits for all of its politicians.


jpotts Offline
#29 Posted:
Joined: 06-14-2006
Posts: 28,811
Right now, Idi Amin Jr. is over in Egypt, taking notes...
ZRX1200 Offline
#30 Posted:
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,656
Egyptian military announced to protesters that they (military) were going to ensure their demands were met tonight?
This was reported on ABC this morning.......
Soft coup? Mubarak arrange this with military leaders to appear both compliant & defiant? What say you.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#31 Posted:
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,552
He's stepping down right now!
DrafterX Offline
#32 Posted:
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,577
I heard he was banned.... Mellow
donutboy2000 Offline
#33 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
CAIRO — President Hosni Mubarak told the Egyptian people on Thursday that he would delegate authority to Vice President Omar Suleiman but that he would not resign, enraging hundreds of thousands gathered to hail his departure and setting in motion a volatile new stage in the three-week uprising.

The declaration by Mr. Mubarak that he would remain president appeared to signal a dangerous escalation in one of the largest popular revolts in Egypt’s history, and some protesters warned that weeks of peaceful rallies might give way to violence as early as Friday.


NYTIMES
Stinkdyr Offline
#34 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2009
Posts: 9,948
Can we send Egypt Obama?...........as a gesture of international friendship.

they seem to need some hope and change.


Applause
rfenst Offline
#35 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415

Admittedly, my opinions about all of this are evolving as this socio-political drama continues. And, I certainly don't want to jinx things, but I think the Egyptian people, Mubarak and the army and have done a remarkable job thus far by avoiding violence and a coupe.

Egyptians have risked their lives to express their political opposition or support, without rioting or violence, thus far. Businesses and government buildings have not been destroyed and it seems there has been good order, all things considered. It doesn't seem like they are calling for violence (yet).

The military clearly has the independence and power to take whatever action it chooses, but thus far has remained peaceful towards both the people and Mubarak. It hasn't appeared to have taken sides. I hope that this will continue.

Mubarak, who I didn’t know much about until the last week or two is, in my opinion, is doing the best he can to cling to his Office. Hopefully, this is an effort to protect the sanctity of the Egyptian Presidency. So, I would like to think that his transfer of power to the VP was a smart move, albeit probably too late to help simmer down the protests. Also, if he really plans to stay out of the September Elections, and just plans to ride out his "term" as a lame duck, he may be doing the American perception of democracy fairly well. That is, democratic governments need to rise and fall at the ballot box or pursuant to pre-established guidelines.

In all, I guess what I am trying to say is that I believe that, on its face, it would be a great thing from an American perspective of democracy, that all of this works itself out peacefully. Otherwise, Egypt will be walking away from democracy and towards mob rule as opposed to democracy.





(Now, having expressed myself, Zbignu Brezinsky gave the situation 48 hour or less on the PBS news last night.)












TMCTLT Offline
#36 Posted:
Joined: 11-22-2007
Posts: 19,733
Seems he's left Cairo...............
dstieger Offline
#37 Posted:
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
^35. Agree with all. I was saying much the same thing in a conversation this morning. I'm also no fan of our current administration, but I do feel the pain of the terribly difficult situation they've been in. Seems that the two leading goals or objectives are completely at odds with each other; support a staunch ally who has been no small key to peace in Middle East; or support a popular uprising against a somewhat tyrannical leader by a largely peaceful populace demanding increased democartic freedoms. And, we need to come down on the right side of whoever ends up in power without really pissing off Saudi Arabia and Israel. Challenging diplomatic situation, to say the least.
rfenst Offline
#38 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415
TMCTLT wrote:
Seems he's left Cairo...............



Yep. To a Red Sea ressort". Perhaps this will reduce the tension temporarily. Iy is also a gateway for him to leave Egypt very easily.
Stinkdyr Offline
#39 Posted:
Joined: 06-16-2009
Posts: 9,948
dstieger wrote:
^35. Agree with all. ... And, we need to come down on the right side of whoever ends up in power without really pissing off Saudi Arabia and Israel. Challenging diplomatic situation, to say the least.



hmmm....now how can I phrase this gently..........oh, I know:

f*ck Israel and Saudi Arabia.

Applause
HockeyDad Offline
#40 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
rfenst wrote:
Admittedly, my opinions about all of this are evolving as this socio-political drama continues. And, I certainly don't want to jinx things, but I think the Egyptian people, Mubarak and the army and have done a remarkable job thus far by avoiding violence and a coupe.






If you are going to use a French word, spell it right! It is not a Chrysler Sebring!

FRENCH OUTRAGE!
rfenst Offline
#41 Posted:
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,415
Stinkdyr wrote:
hmmm....now how can I phrase this gently..........oh, I know:

f*ck Israel and Saudi Arabia.

Applause


Too late for that.

donutboy2000 Offline
#42 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
HockeyDad wrote:
Too late on DIG. Short it!




02-04-11 54.26

02-17-11 58.40

7.6% return

Thank you and good night !
HockeyDad Offline
#43 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
SHORT DIG!
jig+pig Offline
#44 Posted:
Joined: 12-30-2010
Posts: 1,349
some of you guys ae too funny.
the "peaceful" demonstrations were not peaceful at all. just ask the reporter that was beaten and raped! not sure if the people over there are human at all.
we should turn the WHOLE middle east into glass!
donutboy2000 Offline
#45 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
jig+pig wrote:
some of you guys ae too funny.
the "peaceful" demonstrations were not peaceful at all. just ask the reporter that was beaten and raped! not sure if the people over there are human at all.
we should turn the WHOLE middle east into glass!



What are you willing to pay for a gallon of gasoline?
jig+pig Offline
#46 Posted:
Joined: 12-30-2010
Posts: 1,349
donutboy2000 wrote:
What are you willing to pay for a gallon of gasoline?

i really have no control over that, but i did sell my beloved f-150 for a pontiac vibe!!! 35 MPG! wooo hoooo
HockeyDad Offline
#47 Posted:
Joined: 09-20-2000
Posts: 46,187
jig+pig wrote:
i really have no control over that, but i did sell my beloved f-150 for a pontiac vibe!!! 35 MPG! wooo hoooo



How much they give you when you turned in your man card during that purchase?!
jig+pig Offline
#48 Posted:
Joined: 12-30-2010
Posts: 1,349
HockeyDad wrote:
How much they give you when you turned in your man card during that purchase?!


i know....i know! hell, i hardly fit in the damn thing! but, i put aprox 2500 miles on my vehicles a month so it was out of necessity, at 3.00 a gal.
donutboy2000 Offline
#49 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
Vibe ????? !!!!!!!!!
donutboy2000 Offline
#50 Posted:
Joined: 11-20-2001
Posts: 25,000
HockeyDad wrote:
SHORT DIG!



NEW YORK (MarketWatch) — Oil prices climbed and Brent crude topped $108 a barrel Monday as political unrest in Libya raised concerns about possible supply disruptions.

Brent crude for April delivery rose as high as $108.70 on the ICE Futures exchange and was recently trading at $108.02.

Oil for March delivery /quotes/comstock/21n!f:cl\h11 (CLH11 92.50, +6.30, +7.31%) , the front-month contract that expires Tuesday, was lately up $5.22, or 6.1%, at $91.42 a barrel in electronic trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange. It climbed as high as $91.55 during the session and closed at $86.20 on Friday, off 16 cents.

U.S. markets, including Nymex floor trading, were shuttered Monday for the Presidents Day holiday, and light trading volumes were viewed as heightening price volatility.

Oil futures for April delivery /quotes/comstock/21n!f:cl\j11 (CLJ11 96.50, +6.79, +7.57%) , the most actively traded contract, rallied $5.69, or 6.3%, to $95.40 a barrel. It rose as high as $95.47 during the day.

“Everybody is looking right now at Libya because it’s a significant oil producer,” said Christophe Barret, global oil analyst at Calyon in London.
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