Buy her the DVD of "Steel Magnolias", a membership to the Oprah book club, Midol, a freezer full of ice cream, vibrator, and lots of batteries. These things should keep her occupied long enough for you to sneak a smoke in daily. If your lucky, once a week tell her your going out to buy her a gift. Then head to the nearest "cigar friendly" gentlemens club. By the time you return home she would of fallen asleep either from crying, boredom, pleasure or gluttony. Either way...you win!!!
