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Last post 9 years ago by madspackler. 22 replies replies.
"Phrases" in ad copy to be wary of!!!
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QMPASH Offline
#1 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 7:24 AM EST
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
"Not long on looks." (looks like sh*t.)

"I've got a long line of guys waiting
for their usual 5-10 mazos a month." (nobody wants this dog rocket.)

"Change of pace." (Tastes awful)

"Best seller." (probably isn't but we say this so somebody buys it.)

"Rolled in 2003 and boasting (?) Five
extra years of aging." (Written by a mathematically-challanged person.)

"An everyday cigar." (About halfway through, the cigar falls apart)

"This is a premium cigar at an every day price." ( If you believe this, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.)

"Great while mowing the lawn." (You probably can fertilize the lawn with this stick.)

"Affordable handmade." ("Yugos" (cars) were affordable also.)

"A knock around smokeable." ( If you want to get knocked up.)

And, if the ad copy just gives the price with no description whatsoever, it probably is a certified dog rocket. At one time CI had a list of these same cigars (or their cousins) on a page titled, "The Unsmokeables." This should be brought back as a public service.
99cobra2881 Offline
#2 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 9:30 AM EST
Joined: 11-19-2013
Posts: 2,472
Hehehe funny chit right there but so true.

The unsmokeables would be nice to see again but it would wise up the dopes that believe the bs you posted above and would hurt sales.
DrafterX Offline
#3 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 9:50 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,559
'Super-Freak'...... Anxious
Mr. Jones Offline
#4 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 10:00 AM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,434
^^^^^" O.P.'zzzzz is Suuuuper- Freakyyyyy" ^^^^
ZRX1200 Offline
#5 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 10:42 AM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 60,627
"Cuban-esque"
Buckwheat Offline
#6 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 11:03 AM EST
Joined: 04-15-2004
Posts: 12,251
"CA's Top Cigar of the Year"
"Grown from Cuban Seeds"
"Cuban like in flavor"
"Made with pre-embargo Cuban Tobacco"
dstieger Offline
#7 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 11:11 AM EST
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
"We discovered these in the back of the warehouse"
".....lovelies...."
"Cuban sandwich"
"surprisingly delicious"
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#8 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 11:14 AM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
"Staff Pick"
"Staff Choice"
"Staff Favorite"
sd72 Offline
#9 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 11:16 AM EST
Joined: 03-09-2011
Posts: 9,600
...compare to....
99cobra2881 Offline
#10 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 11:44 AM EST
Joined: 11-19-2013
Posts: 2,472
Knock-offs
madspackler Offline
#11 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 12:33 PM EST
Joined: 03-07-2000
Posts: 3,608
Short filler
Made from the cuttings of....
gryphonms Offline
#12 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 12:54 PM EST
Joined: 04-14-2013
Posts: 1,983
Updated version
Must try
Unique
99cobra2881 Offline
#13 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 2:38 PM EST
Joined: 11-19-2013
Posts: 2,472
Black Pearl
cacman Offline
#14 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 2:39 PM EST
Joined: 07-03-2010
Posts: 12,216
Made from Grade A trimmings (as in Papa Fritas)
stogiemonger Offline
#15 Posted: Tue, Jan 13 2015, 6:56 PM EST
Joined: 06-25-2009
Posts: 4,185
Chunktastic.

O.P. is some funny chit!
QMPASH Offline
#16 Posted: Wed, Jan 14 2015, 10:40 AM EST
Joined: 03-15-2011
Posts: 897
And (I almost forgot) "Limited Edition." horse
Mandoman Offline
#17 Posted: Wed, Jan 14 2015, 11:18 AM EST
Joined: 12-27-2005
Posts: 4,761
QMPASH wrote:
"Not long on looks." (looks like sh*t.)

"I've got a long line of guys waiting
for their usual 5-10 mazos a month." (nobody wants this dog rocket.)

"Change of pace." (Tastes awful)

"Best seller." (probably isn't but we say this so somebody buys it.)

"Rolled in 2003 and boasting (?) Five
extra years of aging." (Written by a mathematically-challanged person.)

"An everyday cigar." (About halfway through, the cigar falls apart)

"This is a premium cigar at an every day price." ( If you believe this, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.)

"Great while mowing the lawn." (You probably can fertilize the lawn with this stick.)

"Affordable handmade." ("Yugos" (cars) were affordable also.)

"A knock around smokeable." ( If you want to get knocked up.)

And, if the ad copy just gives the price with no description whatsoever, it probably is a certified dog rocket. At one time CI had a list of these same cigars (or their cousins) on a page titled, "The Unsmokeables." This should be brought back as a public service.



"Tastes just like" (Azz)
frankj1 Offline
#18 Posted: Wed, Jan 14 2015, 9:10 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,223
any ad that says "erin go bragh"
Wunky Offline
#19 Posted: Mon, Jan 19 2015, 2:14 PM EST
Joined: 11-07-2014
Posts: 105
"...ain't half bad!" = 100% bad
"making a huge splash" = you've never heard of them and neither has anyone else
"gem / beauty / lovely" = dog rocket
"..from the factory/blender that brought you..." = this is nowhere near as good as their other stuff
euodias Offline
#20 Posted: Tue, Jan 20 2015, 1:22 AM EST
Joined: 10-16-2009
Posts: 1,468
Tasty treat = tastes like you're smoking a dog biscuit.
themunmypaw Offline
#21 Posted: Tue, Jan 20 2015, 9:10 AM EST
Joined: 12-26-2014
Posts: 661
Infused with irish whiskey- tastes like cream cheese and a hint of cat pee.
madspackler Offline
#22 Posted: Tue, Jan 20 2015, 2:02 PM EST
Joined: 03-07-2000
Posts: 3,608
A great cigar for the price....

What were you expecting for 25 cents each in a bundle? Fuente?
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