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Bad News Says Cruz !!!???
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jackconrad Offline
#1 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 12:56 PM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461


As Texas Solicitor General, Ted Cruz argued that the government had an obligation to discourage masturbation.
Gene363 Offline
#2 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 1:06 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,869
What a jerkoff!
Speyside Offline
#3 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 1:08 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Yet there are people who think he should be our next president. Go figure.
DrafterX Offline
#4 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 1:12 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
teedubbya wrote:
I dunno but this is a more serious link

http://nypost.com/2016/04/13/ted-cruz-really-hates-****/


oops. I forgot it's sort of like a guys junk but artificial and since cigarbid is scared of the junk it's censored.



Mellow
jackconrad Offline
#5 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 1:19 PM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
Huh?
Buckwheat Offline
#6 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 1:28 PM EST
Joined: 04-15-2004
Posts: 12,251
I don't think there is any biblical probation on flogging the bishop or petting the monkey. So what's his beef against it? fog
tonygraz Offline
#7 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 4:41 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
He was upset about guys choking chickens.
frankj1 Offline
#8 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 6:37 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,252
tonygraz wrote:
He was upset about guys choking chickens.

well, when you say it like that...
Brewha Offline
#9 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 6:46 PM EST
Joined: 01-25-2010
Posts: 12,201
Cruz believes that sex should be exclusively for procreation. So in addition to being against dill does, I'm sure we was never a fun date.....
deadeyedick Offline
#10 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 8:24 PM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 17,151
jackconrad wrote:
As Texas Solicitor General, Ted Cruz argued that the government had an obligation to discourage masturbation.


What? Thats all they do in DC. Brick wall

Cruz should have tried the popcorn surprise.Angel
frankj1 Offline
#11 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 8:45 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,252
You mean the old "hole in the bottom" trick?

takes me back to drive in movie dates.
deadeyedick Offline
#12 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 8:47 PM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 17,151
Applause
frankj1 Offline
#13 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 8:56 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,252
you must be old...like me.
teedubbya Offline
#14 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 10:29 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Cruz has hated dill does ever since the safety strap came off of his. It's personal with him.
banderl Offline
#15 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 10:31 PM EST
Joined: 09-09-2008
Posts: 10,153
What happens when a safety strap comes off of a dill do?
tonygraz Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 10:34 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
Glad you asked, but I don't know.
tonygraz Offline
#17 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 10:36 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
frankj1 wrote:
you must be old...like me.


C'mon Frank, we are only as old as we think--------unless we put in a full day working physically.
teedubbya Offline
#18 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 10:36 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
According to drafter it goes all the way in and is difficult to get out.
banderl Offline
#19 Posted: Thu, Apr 21 2016, 11:23 PM EST
Joined: 09-09-2008
Posts: 10,153
teedubbya wrote:
According to drafter it goes all the way in and is difficult to get out.



That's why you should always use an iron dill do, if the strap comes off you can get the dill do out with a magnet.
frankj1 Offline
#20 Posted: Fri, Apr 22 2016, 8:03 AM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,252
Steely Dan?
gummy jones Offline
#21 Posted: Fri, Apr 22 2016, 8:14 AM EST
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
banderl wrote:
That's why you should always use an iron dill do, if the strap comes off you can get the dill do out with a magnet.


assuming you want it out i guess Think
tonygraz Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, Apr 22 2016, 8:42 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
teedubbya wrote:
According to drafter it goes all the way in and is difficult to get out.


I think he was talking about that time you kicked him in the azz and hurt your foot on the way out.
DrafterX Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, Apr 22 2016, 8:45 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
no, he hurt his foot after stepping in your vajajay... Mellow
Mr. Jones Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, Apr 22 2016, 3:56 PM EST
Joined: 06-12-2005
Posts: 19,464
Cruz's NOSE is longer...

"than Small MIT TRUMPS WENGER"....

Just ask Marie Antoinette?

I ALSO heard that Cruz was Gene Simmons
Fluffer...
tonygraz Offline
#25 Posted: Fri, Apr 22 2016, 8:25 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
There's a photo of Cruz on the interwebs morphing into Grampa Munster - really good slow change job.
teedubbya Offline
#26 Posted: Sat, Apr 23 2016, 1:09 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
I think someone must have dill doed him really hard.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#27 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 6:32 AM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,554







ELIMINATED
DrMaddVibe Offline
#28 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 6:33 AM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,554
Beck wept.Cry Baby Cry
DrafterX Offline
#29 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 8:35 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
Sounds like Bernie's done too... Mellow
banderl Offline
#30 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 9:38 AM EST
Joined: 09-09-2008
Posts: 10,153
DrMaddVibe wrote:
ELIMINATED


LMAO
teedubbya Offline
#31 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 10:10 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
He is still TRUS TED though right?

Note: A transrectal ultrasound (TRUS) is an ultrasound technique that is used to view a man's prostate and surrounding tissues. The ultrasound transducer (probe) sends sound waves through the wall of the rectum into the prostate gland, which is located directly in front of the rectum.
tonygraz Offline
#32 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 10:29 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
IS that what his voice sounds like ?
DrafterX Offline
#33 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 10:33 AM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
when ducks cry.... Mellow
DrafterX Offline
#34 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:35 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
Ted Cruz plans Wednesday to announce former Republican primary rival Carly Fiorina as his choice for running mate should he win the GOP presidential nomination, two sources confirmed to Fox News.

Looking for a shake-up, Cruz is set to make the announcement during a 4 p.m. rally in Indianapolis, a day after he was swept by front-runner Donald Trump in five primary contests. The pairing would, theoretically, represent a diverse ticket -- offering the possibility of electing the first Hispanic president and first female vice president.

But for the time being, Fiorina would hold the odd position of being a vice presidential candidate-in-waiting -- as Cruz continues lag far behind Trump in the battle for the GOP nomination. Cruz actually has been mathematically eliminated from being able to clinch the nomination before the convention, and is relying on the prospect of a Cleveland floor fight


Film at 11..... Think Think
MACS Offline
#35 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:50 PM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,878
^That ain't gonna help.
banderl Offline
#36 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:51 PM EST
Joined: 09-09-2008
Posts: 10,153
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HE1wRL-BRo0
DrafterX Offline
#37 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 1:58 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
Didn't he already promise that job to Kasich..?? Think
SmokeMonkey Offline
#38 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 2:10 PM EST
Joined: 04-05-2015
Posts: 5,688
I think Kasich should pick a VP candidate, too. Because the cool people are doing it.
tailgater Offline
#39 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 2:25 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
frankj1 wrote:
Steely Dan?


well played.
tailgater Offline
#40 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 2:29 PM EST
Joined: 06-01-2000
Posts: 26,185
teedubbya wrote:


Note: A transrectal ultrasound (TRUS) is an ultrasound technique that is used to view a man's prostate and surrounding tissues. The ultrasound transducer (probe) sends sound waves through the wall of the rectum into the prostate gland, which is located directly in front of the rectum.


You're like the Rainman of strange facts related the rectum.
tonygraz Offline
#41 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 2:35 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
Carly as VP just might get TBall excited again.
DrafterX Offline
#42 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 2:47 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
She kinda turns me on a little bit... Mellow
gummy jones Offline
#43 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 3:15 PM EST
Joined: 07-06-2015
Posts: 7,969
teddy is a girl?
teedubbya Offline
#44 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 3:27 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Freaks.
DrafterX Offline
#45 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 3:39 PM EST
Joined: 10-18-2005
Posts: 98,582
Mellow
tonygraz Offline
#46 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 7:08 PM EST
Joined: 08-11-2008
Posts: 20,314
DrafterX wrote:
She kinda turns me on a little bit... Mellow


I'll bet you really like bobble heads.
frankj1 Offline
#47 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 9:11 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,252
DrafterX wrote:
when ducks cry.... Mellow

just want to make sure you know that someone out there got it. Topical, clever.

LIKE
frankj1 Offline
#48 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 9:13 PM EST
Joined: 02-08-2007
Posts: 44,252
tailgater wrote:
well played.

I mighta meant Deely Stan

I'm so confused.
teedubbya Offline
#49 Posted: Wed, Apr 27 2016, 9:58 PM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Lol Cruz - his freak out came earlier than expected.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#50 Posted: Thu, Apr 28 2016, 5:38 AM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,554
teedubbya wrote:
Lol Cruz - his freak out came earlier than expected.



He's been in freak out mode since going to DC...I suspect he's been that way his whole life though.

Oh well...good riddance. Here's to hoping Texas votes that scumbag out of a job.
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