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Last post 2 years ago by Gene363. 28 replies replies.
Vaccine Side Effects And Other Things
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Gene363 Offline
#1 Posted: Sun, May 30 2021, 7:35 AM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Doctor: "Yes, this **** does look a bit swollen but I can't be sure if it's caused by the vaccine."

...


Doctor: "What about your husband, has he experienced any side effects?"
Gene363 Offline
#2 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:40 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
My wife says I'm a pathological liar.

Which is ridiculous because I don't have a wife.
Gene363 Offline
#3 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:42 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
My wife said I don't listen to her...

And some other stuff.
Gene363 Offline
#4 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:43 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Have you ever noticed blind people walk their dogs a lot?
Gene363 Offline
#5 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:44 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
I don't like the term anal bleaching.

I prefer to call it changing your ringtone.
Gene363 Offline
#6 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:46 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
There's plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, I'm stuck holding this rod.
Gene363 Offline
#7 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:47 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
A man took an airline to court after misplacing his luggage.

Unfortunately, he has lost his case.
Gene363 Offline
#8 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:49 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
If I had to describe myself in three words,

I would say, "Not very good at maths".
Speyside Offline
#9 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:50 PM EST
Joined: 03-16-2015
Posts: 13,106
Keep em coming, all good!
Gene363 Offline
#10 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:51 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Any tool, nut, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Note: This tendency is inversely proportional to the importance of the now missing part.
Stogie1020 Offline
#11 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 1:57 PM EST
Joined: 12-19-2019
Posts: 5,335
Good stuff!
rfenst Offline
#12 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 3:04 PM EST
Joined: 06-23-2007
Posts: 39,323
Gene363 wrote:
Any tool, nut, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Note: This tendency is inversely proportional to the importance of the now missing part.

That should be considered a universal lw.
Gene363 Offline
#13 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 4:16 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
rfenst wrote:
That should be considered a universal lw.


Agree, in fact, it may be contained in the very, very fine print in Murphy's Law, possibly printed on the edges of the pages.
Gene363 Offline
#14 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 4:20 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Do you know what men and pantyhose have in common?

They either cling, run, or don't fit in the crotch.
Gene363 Offline
#15 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 4:23 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
I'm furious with my son.

I caught him playing with the neighbour's daughter.

Don't be too harsh on them, they're bound to be curious about sex.

Curious about sex? He's taken her appendix out!
Gene363 Offline
#16 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 4:27 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Dad, why are you feeling that horse all over?

I want to buy it, son.

And when you buy horses, you have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape.

I think the mailman wants to buy Mother.
Gene363 Offline
#17 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 4:29 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Wife: Would you have married me if my Father hadn't left me a fortune?

Husband: Darling, I'd have married you no matter who left you a fortune.
danmdevries Offline
#18 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 6:18 PM EST
Joined: 02-11-2014
Posts: 17,372
Lolz.
izonfire Offline
#19 Posted: Tue, Jun 1 2021, 11:10 PM EST
Joined: 12-09-2013
Posts: 8,647
Some good stuffs.
Thanks Gene!
Gene363 Offline
#20 Posted: Wed, Jun 9 2021, 2:57 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
There's a guy at work we all call Keth.

His real name is Keith... but has an eye missing.
Gene363 Offline
#21 Posted: Fri, Jun 18 2021, 7:54 AM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
The thing about the Internet is that you can claim credit for things you had no part in.

It's one of the reasons I invented it.
delta1 Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, Jun 18 2021, 12:46 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,788
hey wait a minnit....are you really Al Gore?
Gene363 Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, Jun 18 2021, 12:52 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
delta1 wrote:
hey wait a minnit....are you really Al Gore?



d'oh! Shame on you Not talking
delta1 Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, Jun 18 2021, 7:28 PM EST
Joined: 11-23-2011
Posts: 28,788
sorry...

some funny ch!t.....
Gene363 Offline
#25 Posted: Fri, Jun 18 2021, 10:02 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
delta1 wrote:
sorry...

some funny ch!t.....


Your post was funny and right on. LOL
Gene363 Offline
#26 Posted: Tue, Jun 22 2021, 1:46 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Morning comes in 3 sizes:

1) Early

2) Too Early

3) Way too Early
CelticBomber Offline
#27 Posted: Tue, Jun 22 2021, 5:19 PM EST
Joined: 05-03-2012
Posts: 6,786
Did Emo Phillips and Steven Wright have a baby?
Gene363 Offline
#28 Posted: Tue, Jun 22 2021, 6:28 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,815
Back on topic...

I refuse to get vaccinated!

I've read it has microchips in it!

The last thing I want is an electronic device that can track where I am or what I'm doing at all times!


"Where'd you read that?"

On my cellphone.
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