One day in the future, the current President, George W. Bush, has a
heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to Hell, where the Devil is
waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the Devil. "You
are definitely on my list, but I have no room for you. You have to
stay, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a few other
folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go,
but you have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who
leaves."
Under the circumstances, George W. thought that sounded pretty good,
so the Devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a
large pool of water. He kept diving in and out and surfacing
empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in
Hell. "No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and
I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Ronald Reagan with a
sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the
hammer, time after time after time. "No," said George W., "I've got
this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I
could do was break rocks all day."
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in
a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she
does best. Bush took this in, in disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah, I
can handle that."
The Devil smiled and said, "Okay, Monica, you're free to go."
