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Last post 15 months ago by Palama. 23 replies replies.
Best Pick-up Line
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Gene363 Offline
#1 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 12:07 PM EST
Joined: 01-24-2003
Posts: 30,822
An Australian is sitting at a bar in New York City and looks at his watch several times in the space of a few minutes.

The woman sitting nearby notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No," he replies, "I have this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch?
What's so special about it?"

The Aussie explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically."

The lady says, "What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties."

The woman giggles and replies,
"Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!''

The Aussie smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody things running about an hour fast, can I buy you a drink?
MiamiJosh Offline
#2 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 5:30 PM EST
Joined: 06-15-2006
Posts: 2,302
I've always thought

"Are you wearing space underwear?"

"Cause your azz is outa this world"

was really funny
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#3 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 5:47 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
could you use an extra hundred.
18delta Offline
#4 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 5:48 PM EST
Joined: 09-18-2004
Posts: 3,235
ok, rick wins
edsbar60 Offline
#5 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 6:14 PM EST
Joined: 12-12-2005
Posts: 9,435
"Then I guess a BJ in the parking lot is out of the question?"
18delta Offline
#6 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 6:19 PM EST
Joined: 09-18-2004
Posts: 3,235
ed. no confidence ......not good

erkwgz Offline
#7 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 6:37 PM EST
Joined: 10-07-2004
Posts: 10,840
Ricks reply was kinda like him.

Short and to the point!

LOL
edsbar60 Offline
#8 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 6:38 PM EST
Joined: 12-12-2005
Posts: 9,435
hehe. That's a line from so old 80's spring break movie that I can't remember. I never had the guts to say anything like that. Good thing, I'd probably get beaten for saying something like that.
RICKAMAVEN Offline
#9 Posted: Wed, Feb 14 2007, 11:40 PM EST
Joined: 10-01-2000
Posts: 33,248
edsbar60

it came out of the mouth of paul williams
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Williams_(songwriter)

he was in the planet of the apes and one night he came on the carson show in his ape make up and straight faced, he sang "my funny valentine."
CROS Offline
#10 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 3:43 AM EST
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
guy - "would you like to dance?"

girl - "With you?! I don't think so."

guy - " Oh you must have misunderstood me. Did you think I asked if you wanted to dance? I said, 'You look FAT in those PANTS!'"

works every time.
DrMaddVibe Offline
#11 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 4:03 AM EST
Joined: 10-21-2000
Posts: 55,444
"I don't want to own you, I just want to borrow you for 15 minutes."

I swear by all that is holy that I heard somebody use that line.
plinytheelder Offline
#12 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 5:01 AM EST
Joined: 10-24-2006
Posts: 8,838
I was in a bar once, with a friend from HS.
As a looker was walking to the toilets, he asks her "wanna see me lick my eyebrows?"

The look she gave him makes me laugh, even today.
jbu Offline
#13 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:02 AM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
are we talking about pick up lines to use on women?
BiggDawg Offline
#14 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:02 AM EST
Joined: 01-18-2007
Posts: 1,989
Do you come here often, or would you prefer more privacy?
CROS Offline
#15 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:04 AM EST
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
whoo do you use your pick up lines on, jbu?
jbu Offline
#16 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:05 AM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
^ The willing!
jbu Offline
#17 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:09 AM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
'You only live once; if you do it right, once is enough'
jbu Offline
#18 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:11 AM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
'I am out of milk and coffee'
CROS Offline
#19 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:19 AM EST
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
Excuse me, my ears are freezing. Can I borrow your thighs for a minute?
CROS Offline
#20 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:20 AM EST
Joined: 10-04-2006
Posts: 3,486
Hey baby, wanna go halves on a ****?
ScottHar Offline
#21 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:25 AM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
True story: About 10 years ago, my French girlfriend was doing some translation work for a company doing business at the Cannes Film Festival.

She's supposed to meet a small group for a business lunch, but she gets to the hotel restaurant early and decides to have a drink at the bar. Just as she gets her glass of sparkling wine, in walks: Jack Nicholson.

He walks right over to her, slowly looks her up and down, gives her his classic "Jack" grin, and in that distinctive voice says, "Can I buy you a drink?" She smiles and with her delightful French accent says, "No, thank you, I'm fine."

He smiles at her for a moment and then matter-of-factly asks, "You wanna f%&#?" She, horrified, flustered, says: "No way!" He, without missing a beat gives her a wink and, still grinning, says, "Just thought I'd ask."

She saw Nicholson leave about 15 minutes later with an attractive blonde -- apparently, a girl who appreciated the, ah, "direct approach" (coming from a multi-millionaire movie star).

ScottHar
jbu Offline
#22 Posted: Thu, Feb 15 2007, 8:36 AM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 1,690
Some things should never have to be mentioned.

She should be able to tell that she will probably be the one to go out in the morning for a double espresso and latte.

She is already sized you up. You just need to confirm her suspicions.

Just say, " can you drive a stick-shift?"
Palama Offline
#23 Posted: Wed, Feb 15 2023, 10:07 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2013
Posts: 23,705
Did someone mention ScottHar? Think
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