| 1. Author: Magwitch | Date: Sun, 5/9/2010, 2:01PM EST | |
I wanted to share my experience with a smoke I had today. It was called a Plasencia which, I'm fairly certain, is Spanish for placenta. I can't say I've ever tasted a placenta but it's gotta taste better than this mangy dog of a cigar. It would be better named Afterbirth or perhaps Abortion. First, the only positive here is that the cigar was free. One of my coworkers left his toolbox open this past Friday and it was lying right on top. When he went to the breakfast truck it found its way into my sock. Either he didn't notice or he didn't have the sack to confront me about it. Either way, I wish now I'd never taken it. The first taste that hit me was the overwhelming smell of a New York City dumpster during an August heat wave. The draw was good but this proved to be a bad thing as the taste and smell evolved into something akin to low tide and fish heads. It got progressively worse until it culminated into the powerful stench of very used feminine products. Making the experience all the worse was the fact that the screaming bag of guts I call my wife was haranguing me about our credit card bills and my drinking while I was trying desperately to enjoy this monstrosity. I ended up tossing it before it was done and headed to Home Depot to pick up some caulking. There's a 19 year old cashier there that I've had my eye on so I made a point to wear some tight running shorts. Sure enough, when I went through her check out line I caught her eyeing the trouser snake. I gave her a wink and a knowing smile. Can't wait to head back there next weekend and escalate things when the wife will be visiting that long-toothed hag mother of hers. |
| 2. Author: jackconrad | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:25AM EST | |
hemmn |
| 3. Author: Cousin_Eddie | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:30AM EST | |
Ha - I do laugh at some of this crap. |
| 4. Author: andytv | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:35AM EST | |
How much time do you usually allow to elapse before you comment on your own post? |
| 5. Author: Cousin_Eddie | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:39AM EST | |
Andy - Check the grammar my friend I'm not this smart. Also I would never cheat on or berate my wife, I am a very very lucky man I married way up. |
| 6. Author: herfidore | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 8:55AM EST | |
hmmm, stolen items, trips to Home Depot, CE posting in the thread. Pattern anyone? |
| 7. Author: ZRX1200 | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 9:08AM EST | |
Alias seems to be the new cbid norm. At least when I say something stupid its under my screen name not a cover.
Some has been funny, but I'm over it. |
| 8. Author: JadeRose | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 2:12PM EST | |
I'd hit it!! |
| 9. Author: wheelrite | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 2:22PM EST | |
This pic disturbs me.
This person appears to have mental and physical issues.
rather sad imho..
wheel, |
| 10. Author: jetblasted | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 6:39PM EST | |
Weirdest thread of the week award. |
| 11. Author: Mr. Jones | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 6:52PM EST | |
Who in the HELL is "MANWICH"?
Is he a "SLOPPY JOE" or somethin'? |
| 12. Author: pacman357 | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:00PM EST | |
Drugs are bad, m'kay? |
| 13. Author: delarob | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:06PM EST | |
Nah, she looks German. |
| 14. Author: da76guinness | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:52PM EST | |
you'd have to be one sick dude to post this, even if it were a joke
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................./......................................................,:`^`..}
.............../...................................................,:”........./
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../
.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/
..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}
...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../
...,,,___.\`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”
............/.`~,......`-...............................\....../\
.............\`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....\,__
,,_..........}.›-._\...................................|..............`=~-,
.....`=~-,_\_......`\,.................................\
...................`=~-,,.\,...............................\
................................`:,,...........................`\..............__
.....................................`=-,...................,%`›--==``
........................................_\..........._,-%.......`\
...................................,‹`.._|_,-&``................`\ |
| 15. Author: andytv | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 7:55PM EST | |
Hey, is that a young Ratzinger? |
| 16. Author: pacman357 | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 8:03PM EST | |
#16 Do not mock zee Germans. Vee vill come over to your house, destroy eet and every other house in zee same zip code. |
| 17. Author: cds09 | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 10:33PM EST | |
Now that's funny |
| 18. Author: pacman357 | Date: Mon, 5/10/2010, 11:24PM EST | |
Death awaits you, with nasty pointy teeth. |
| 19. Author: jimbud | Date: Fri, 8/26/2011, 9:25PM EST | |
Another. |
| 20. Author: nickatnite | Date: Fri, 8/26/2011, 10:37PM EST | |
|
| 21. Author: JuyceMan | Date: Sat, 8/27/2011, 8:14AM EST | |
Too F'ing funny. I like this sense of humor... |
| 22. Author: IUROX | Date: Sat, 8/27/2011, 8:57AM EST | |
Been eatin retard sammichs for lunch again huh? |
| 23. Author: NYYankees | Date: Sat, 8/27/2011, 10:16AM EST | |
The guy is trying way too hard to be funny. Lessen the amount of metaphors and you might raise a chuckle out of people - after the first two descriptions of its smell and taste, the audience gets it. |
| 24. Author: ZRX1200 | Date: Tue, 7/24/2012, 1:01AM EST | |
Strange days.......where's Rob? |
| 25. Author: bloody spaniard | Date: Tue, 7/24/2012, 9:48AM EST | |
Magwitch(sp?) was brilliantly funny IMHO. If you have a sense of humor, do a search on all his posts.
Loved his family portrait. |
| 26. Author: dstieger | Date: Tue, 7/24/2012, 10:40AM EST | |
21, 25
+1 |
| 27. Author: JadeRose | Date: Tue, 7/24/2012, 4:10PM EST | |
We need Cousin Eddie/Magwitch back here |
| 28. Author: nolen | Date: Mon, 3/3/2014, 12:37PM EST | |
I cry from laughing at this everytime I read it.
|
| 29. Author: T Z | Date: Mon, 3/3/2014, 5:56PM EST | |
Magwich always had great posts |
| 30. Author: bloody spaniard | Date: Mon, 3/3/2014, 6:00PM EST | |
IMHO he struck out the last time or two but he will always be remembered for his dry, whimsical wit & photographs that's for sure. |
| 31. Author: nolen | Date: Mon, 3/3/2014, 8:19PM EST | |
Bloody, do you know where he's been? Haven't heard anything since Christmas '12. |
| 32. Author: bloody spaniard | Date: Mon, 3/3/2014, 9:35PM EST | |
No, I don't, sorry, Nolen but there's at least one botl that seems to know his bat lair- possibly the enigmatic jimbud. |
| 33. Author: nolen | Date: Mon, 3/3/2014, 11:40PM EST | |
ahhh, thanks Bloody... |
| 34. Author: smokestaxx | Date: Fri, 4/11/2014, 10:43PM EST | |
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| 35. Author: gae9jang2j | Date: Fri, 3/25/2016, 2:23AM EST | |
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| 36. Author: Palama | Date: Sun, 5/12/2019, 5:51PM EST | |
. |
| 37. Author: frankj1 | Date: Sun, 5/12/2019, 6:25PM EST | |
pretty sure jimbud lives in CT.
maybe tonygraz can find him and finally get to the bottom of the Magwitch Mystery. |
| 38. Author: Palama | Date: Mon, 1/1/2024, 3:11PM EST | |
. |
