A couple are watching TV and the husband keeps changing the channels: golf, porn, golf, porn, golf, porn...
Wife says, for feck sake, leave it on porn, you know how to play golf!


I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.


Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small ****.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, “Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem.”
The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table
“Gee, Mom,” he exclaimed, “for me?”
“Just take two,” Brenda replied. “The rest are for your father.”

Not the funniest but not the worst.