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Official "Cigars that suck azz" thread
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Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#1 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:10 AM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
Ok, no holds bared here, list what cigars "suck ass" or taste like "dried rolled dog turd", etc to you and why.


Bring it on!
teedubbya Offline
#2 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:11 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
All cigars to be listed didn't meet my expectation ... someone must have gotten rolando reyes to infuse some of his dog poop recipe into these sticks. Let's get Charlie on here.... he's the expert on PI's and we all know he loves them".
iqbal Offline
#3 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:14 AM EST
Joined: 05-13-2004
Posts: 1,450
^^ i knew you just couldn't wait to use that gem.....
seaborn Offline
#4 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:18 AM EST
Joined: 09-17-2006
Posts: 2,958
Okay, you guys are laying off so far, I'll throw one out there.

This has got to be the worst cigar I smoked this summer. Will almost smoked.

I got a VS Con Yankee in a Brown Bag Sampler. It was the first Victor I've smoke in about 12 years. I lit it up and it was terrible. I only smoked about half and inch before putting it down figuring to burn it later while mowing the lawn. Lit it up to mow the yard thinking maybe it would get better. Nope! it was *&@$!

I smoked maybe a third of it before chucking it and finding something else to smoke.
tdtall70 Offline
#5 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:21 AM EST
Joined: 08-29-2007
Posts: 3,083
CI Legends Purple Label (Graycliff).
Spongie, no smoke, no flavor, sucks ballz...
Bluedevil Offline
#6 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:24 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2006
Posts: 7,383
OK, TG

I nominate The Fighting ****!!
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#7 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:25 AM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
Oh BTW PLEASE, NO FLAMING or arguing!

This is just an open list of all "cigars that suck ass".

Everyones opinions and tastes vary, so no arguing over why a cigar doesn't suck!
ms58103 Offline
#8 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:25 AM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 1,465
Oliveros 1927 Torpedo

Tasted like rolled cat turd.
teedubbya Offline
#9 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:29 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
Don Bievene
Stephen1106 Offline
#10 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:31 AM EST
Joined: 04-16-2008
Posts: 411
flor del turdo, it just sucks, as does a fidalgo negro, terrible cigars, anyone want some
apochee Offline
#11 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:31 AM EST
Joined: 05-06-2006
Posts: 1,441
PI Aged Pyramides
izkeh Offline
#12 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:31 AM EST
Joined: 09-26-2007
Posts: 457
La Vieja Habana - The Early Years, Red Velvet. Good Lord Almighty did this this suck dog balls. I swear it was rolled with sawdust from a cheap furniture factory. BLECH!!!!!
engletl Offline
#13 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:31 AM EST
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
Did not enjoy the RP Vintage 90 mini figuardo I smoked last night.

Burned very hot and had a very musty/mildew flavor.

Had to toss it after about five puffs
JadeRose Offline
#14 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:31 AM EST
Joined: 05-15-2008
Posts: 19,525
El Padrino...PUKE!!!!!

also..CAO America torp....unraveling POS
cpscherer Offline
#15 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:40 AM EST
Joined: 01-10-2005
Posts: 400
Surprised to hear that about the LVH Early Years...I really like those.

Anyway...my candidates are...DE Kahlhua, nasty sick sweet tasting, blech. Flor Del Todo...waste of time. And finally, Nub Cameroon...like all the other Nubs, but this one just did not "float my boat".
jblessin Offline
#16 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:42 AM EST
Joined: 07-18-2008
Posts: 1,727
Las Cabrillas Maduro. The Crappiest crap of all crap. LAST TIME i go cheap and buy a 1.50 cigar from a b&m. the cusano p1 was crap too. short filler burned like that girl i dumped and tasted like the zoo.
nine999 Offline
#17 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:43 AM EST
Joined: 07-27-2005
Posts: 14,622
this may come as a shock to you, but i don't particularly care for the drew estate egg. or any de for that matter.

also, the conn yankee.

i had a cuban r&j that tasted like soap.



hmmmm....



nine
teedubbya Offline
#18 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:45 AM EST
Joined: 08-14-2003
Posts: 95,637
I think the whole Perdomo Cabinate series sucks ass
njstone Offline
#19 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 10:59 AM EST
Joined: 07-17-2008
Posts: 6,456
I'll nominate the Guantanamera "Cubans" than I got in Mexico. They didn't really suck azz, but for the price they sure were horrible. Imagine an RP Sungrown that you left in a dry room for 2 months and removed the nice wrapper. Oh, and it was $10. Oh well, I was on vacation, and it was better than nothing.
daveincincy Offline
#20 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:01 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
Victor Sinclair Serie 55 (green ribbon). If you like the taste of kerosene and/or lighter fluid, this is your cigar. I smoked a Don Felo (that's the name of a cigar, really), actually I've smoked a couple. It was kind of harsh and had a really loose roll, but it was better than the VS 55, and you can get 25 for $12.99...not that I'd actually buy any.
Sonnyf78 Offline
#21 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:07 AM EST
Joined: 03-24-2008
Posts: 223
Buccanero...any one of them....taste like a camel's gooch.
daveincincy Offline
#22 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:09 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
Well, I've never tasted a "camel's gooch" before so I'll just have to take your word for it. But I've had a Salsa, and it was pretty good. If that's what a "camel's gooch" tastes like then I guess I might try a "camel's gooch" and like it as long as you didn't tell me what it was beforehand.
bpuls Offline
#23 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:10 AM EST
Joined: 01-17-2008
Posts: 1,898
Padron 1926 & 64 Ani Maduros, A friend gifted me some
pyramids of these. they have sat a minimum of 5 years.
I seriously think they taste like crap. Don't know why
alot of guys say these are the best in the world =(
daveincincy Offline
#24 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:12 AM EST
Joined: 08-11-2006
Posts: 20,033
^
maybe they don't age well. I dunno. I do know that I like them...need my snailer? LOL
xxzzfile Offline
#25 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:15 AM EST
Joined: 06-19-2008
Posts: 200
Cuba Libre natural - I'd rather smoke twigs from the forest
Thunder.Gerbil Offline
#26 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:16 AM EST
Joined: 11-02-2006
Posts: 121,359
No arguing, but groveling, begging and trading are cool.
skiridemaine Offline
#27 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:17 AM EST
Joined: 01-07-2007
Posts: 670
rp conn

liga iv

perdomo 826 or whatever that is

ferd6 Offline
#28 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:29 AM EST
Joined: 10-19-2001
Posts: 1,145
Centenario B's - - for me they were like that scene in the mivoe "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" - where the pet shop was on fire . . each time he went past the snakes he would make a disgusted noise and face and only until it was the last thing left did he get them . . same with me and these. . .
ms58103 Offline
#29 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:40 AM EST
Joined: 07-08-2007
Posts: 1,465
fidalgo negro was a horrible cigar for sure.

-Mike
angus13 Offline
#30 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 11:49 AM EST
Joined: 03-17-2008
Posts: 3,995
Pirate's Gold... only stick that made me Gag (shut it you pervs)
kttcajun Offline
#31 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 12:03 PM EST
Joined: 09-24-2006
Posts: 679
Obsidians are not what I expected from Padilla. I wish just ONE would burn right without having to fix the burn every half inch. Flavor is o.k., but it pi$$es me off so much I just can't get through a whole one.
jaytothen Offline
#32 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 12:16 PM EST
Joined: 12-31-2007
Posts: 2,156
El Mejor Espresso-blech, uneven burn, blah.

Acid nasty-foulest, hottest, worst tasting stick ever. Took forever to get that burnt potpurri taste out of my mouth.
Sardious Offline
#33 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 12:25 PM EST
Joined: 05-18-2006
Posts: 1,869
Was given a cigar once called a "bad frog" no clue how the guy got it but yeah it was horrid.
djk Offline
#34 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 12:56 PM EST
Joined: 11-13-2007
Posts: 6,686
Cienfuego?? Or something similar. Tasted like wet grass.
hoyodude Offline
#35 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 1:27 PM EST
Joined: 07-17-2000
Posts: 4,395
El Balserito Belitas.....I think that's what they're called. Tiny little torpedos from hell. Hot burning and truly nasty tasting. I got a bundle for about $7 and am convinced I got burned.

wadda ya 'spect?
t33bone Offline
#36 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 1:49 PM EST
Joined: 10-25-2007
Posts: 27,374
Smokin Toad-not even worth the try

http://www.cigarbeat.net/blog/review-smokin-toad-cigar-by/2007/05/29/

The event at party source sucked that day with the Smokin Toad.
knokmdwn Offline
#37 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 2:03 PM EST
Joined: 04-13-2008
Posts: 8,849
CAO America just didn't do it for me. Thought it was very harsh, didn't have a flavor that was anything close to enjoyable, and it started unraveling a third of the way into it.


On a second note, just finished my first barrel-aged. Liked the flavor but needed a freeekin vacuum to get a draw on this thing. The construction was so-so and after the first inch, I started really paying attention to it. Had thick/hard spots in the band area and in the middle was soft spots to the point I though it might have some hollow spots. Never made the middle of the stick. Chucked it. Can't stand a hard draw. And BTW, I dryboxed this for 2 days.
wheelrite Offline
#38 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 2:15 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 50,119
Monecristo Mwdia Noche,,

A very boring cigar.
I waited till thenub for it to liven up,,,nothing.I had a 5r and all were mediocre.


wheel,
wheelrite Offline
#39 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 2:17 PM EST
Joined: 11-01-2006
Posts: 50,119
^^^ Media Noche,,,
Whistlebritches Offline
#40 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 2:33 PM EST
Joined: 04-23-2006
Posts: 22,128
Nothing and I mean nothing can be worse than a.....




************Gurkha Vintage**************


They taste much worse than nasty ass smells.


Ron
critter2 Offline
#41 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 2:46 PM EST
Joined: 11-02-2007
Posts: 6,110
te amo...traded my last one for a black and mild wine flavored...then threw that away
Charlie Offline
#42 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 2:55 PM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Puros Indios...an award winner for crap
Victor Sinclairs
El Mejors
Fighting **** or any other Philipino POS
El Padrino=Ugh
Hamilton House
Lone Wolf
Fat Cats


and most cheap sticks.

Charlie
passdagas Offline
#43 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 3:39 PM EST
Joined: 08-31-2007
Posts: 280
VS vintage: poor burn, no taste, too bitter.
partagas cammie line: bitter, flavorless.
felipe dominicana: no flavor.
ci legend grey cusano: no flavor
dominican series from unnamed site.... tastes like concrete mix with nuance of blacktop. site starts with is "f" "us". yeah they'll f you too.
dstieger Offline
#44 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 4:28 PM EST
Joined: 06-22-2007
Posts: 10,889
Oliveros XL For Men - One of the very few sticks I've tossed before the halfway point

Ramon Allones - (NC) (DR) - I thought the DR was for Dominican Republic -- It is actually a warning that this is a Dog Rocket

-dave
MARKQ Offline
#45 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 4:40 PM EST
Joined: 10-04-2004
Posts: 2,392
All time POS for me is Rocky Patel OSG. These are just horrible to me. Close 2nd would be PI's.
lew smaldino Offline
#46 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 4:44 PM EST
Joined: 06-09-2002
Posts: 21
Anything from El Mejor and of course the legendary Gurkha Vintage crapola.
BikerBob1961 Offline
#47 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 4:59 PM EST
Joined: 10-21-2004
Posts: 2,883
I didn't care for the Helix have not tried the Helix remix but the Helix was bitter and hot smoking could not finish it. Also the Al Capone that was a POS for a litter smoke.
passdagas Offline
#48 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 5:12 PM EST
Joined: 08-31-2007
Posts: 280
rp R4 maduro. taste is so bad that i had to toss them away half.
Charlie Offline
#49 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 5:16 PM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
Yeah, the R4 really sucks, did not think Rocky would ever put anything out that bad.

Charlie
plinytheelder Offline
#50 Posted: Fri, Aug 22 2008, 5:42 PM EST
Joined: 10-24-2006
Posts: 8,838
Onyx suck.

So do all RyJ's.

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