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Dear Chief
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jackconrad Offline
#101 Posted: Mon, Aug 4 2008, 11:43 AM EST
Joined: 06-09-2003
Posts: 67,461
FABULOUS 101st issue !
big chief Offline
#102 Posted: Mon, Aug 4 2008, 1:57 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
DrafterX asks if it possible to drive mini-van and not be gay...?

Only if you are transporting cheerleaders. Otherwise, one must have Mini-van that is lowered, has loud exhaust, and very noisy stereo. Finally, a set of bull horns on the front bumper will serve to finish the effect of non-gayness.
Good luck.
rasdas Offline
#103 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 9:40 AM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 4,716
Dear Chief,

Why not open up your own casino and then use the profits to buy a kick-arse teepee (see AndyTV picture post) but add a flat-screen here and there, a kegorator or two and a pole for the squaws???
Charlie Offline
#104 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 9:43 AM EST
Joined: 06-16-2002
Posts: 39,751
LOL, a pole for the squaws....heep lotta fun I bet...

Charlie
KTV0909 Offline
#105 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 10:22 AM EST
Joined: 05-22-2008
Posts: 338
Dear Chief,

The squaw and I have been discussing vacation plans. She suggested we go to Hawaii. We have been there many a times! I suggested we visit some where new...like the DP (and maybe take a cigar factory tour?!?!). She seemed OK with the idea. Did I marry an exceptional squaw or is she going to have a bonfire with my cigars if I push for DP?
ScottHar Offline
#106 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 10:39 AM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
[DP?! Oh, man, this is gonna be good...]
big chief Offline
#107 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 11:05 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
KTVO909 writes Chief to ask: 'Chief, did I marry an exceptional squaw, or if I push for DR, will plans backfire and cause heap cigar loss?'

Chief suggest you do some research, and then re-phrase your DR proposal. Consider what it is your wife likes to do when you travel. Visit historic sites? See cool buildings? Eat great food? Listen to local music? Enjoy nightlife? You know, Chief don't know. Carribbean has some great places, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahama, Beliz, DR, AND YES CUBA, all within a couple hours flight time. Planned correctly, you could suggest the two of you do some shopping in Beliz and spend a day or two. Then fly to Jamaica for some Island Stuff. Then perhaps take cruise (or fly) to DR--or mebbe better--Cuba for a couple days.
I think you get idea.
Chief has a couple friends who visited Cuba about 10 years ago. They flew there from Mexico. Their passports were examined but NOT STAMPED. Cuba wants and needs US $.
Good luck
Try and put together
ScottHar Offline
#108 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 11:14 AM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
[I know this thread not called Dear ScottHar. Butt, I will just say to KTV0909: A bonfire of your cigars could be the least of your problems if you, as you say, "push for DP" with your wife.]
big chief Offline
#109 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 11:17 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
AHHHH! ScottHar, Chief not catch that!
Must assume he meant DR.
pacman357 Offline
#110 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 11:42 AM EST
Joined: 02-27-2006
Posts: 42,596
#108 He'd prolly be lucky to get a trip to the ATM.
KTV0909 Offline
#111 Posted: Tue, Aug 5 2008, 12:33 PM EST
Joined: 05-22-2008
Posts: 338
Thanks Chief.

Yes...DR not DP!! I didn't even see that typo...

ScottHar...you perv!
rasdas Offline
#112 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:30 AM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 4,716
I feel jilted...didnt get an answer to mine (maybe chief putting additional research into it) and he answered the one after mine...

Signed

Unanswered #103 (to think i topped the thread from the 2nd page)...
fishinguitarman Offline
#113 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:37 AM EST
Joined: 07-29-2006
Posts: 69,152
I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore
rasdas Offline
#114 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:38 AM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 4,716
FGM...can you phrase that as a question??...dont think Chief will get back to you on that one neither...
fishinguitarman Offline
#115 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:42 AM EST
Joined: 07-29-2006
Posts: 69,152
I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore .....



Why?
rasdas Offline
#116 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:45 AM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 4,716
There you go...am sure Chief will now get back to you on that one...
andytv Offline
#117 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:48 AM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
Man, I can't believe I missed the "DP Proposal".

KTV0909 Offline
#118 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 5:58 AM EST
Joined: 05-22-2008
Posts: 338
^I can't believe I missed it too...gotta get my head out of the dumpster!!!
andytv Offline
#119 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 6:00 AM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
^ you must have a REALLY good buddy to have something like THAT in mind!!!!
rasdas Offline
#120 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 6:04 AM EST
Joined: 03-13-2003
Posts: 4,716
Thought about it...but figured he found another island...
MACS Offline
#121 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 6:09 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,888
If this other guy gets that DP proposal figured out, chief must tell rest of forum how he victorious.

Rest of forum listening like E. F. Hutton about to speak!
big chief Offline
#122 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 6:41 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Rasdas, #112-
Heap apologies. Chief has had 5 years worth of aggravation/worry packed into last 1 1/2 weeks. It is a simple oversight...
ddandb Offline
#123 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 6:52 AM EST
Joined: 02-13-2005
Posts: 6,513
Chief...

what do I do about this rash between my legs?
big chief Offline
#124 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 6:54 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
Rasdas, #103, asks: 'Why not Chief use casino profits to build heap TeePee with Beer and Moose-sized TV, and pole for dancing squaws?'

Rasdas, economy bad, casino profits only shadow of former glory, them barely cover beer costs today. And Chief already have discreet but absurdly large teepee. Chief has considered moose-size TV, but hearing getting so bad...had volume up all the way a couple days ago(!) still barely hear. Sigh. And it tradition here when squaws party around Chief that they take turns dancing around his man-spear. Them like, Chief like--it mutually agreeable!!
big chief Offline
#125 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:01 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
FGM, #115, want know why he not look good naked anymore--

Chief not know the answer to this one. Chief only qualified to judge himself and females still in child-bearing years.
One secret I will reveal is this: Drink heap beer, all day, start early; Women adore drunken men, as long as it not their husband! Them not care what you look like!
andytv Offline
#126 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:02 AM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
Chief.....hook a ZVOX up to your moose sized TV to "solve" your hearing problem!
big chief Offline
#127 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:06 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
DDandB ask, 'What do about rash between leg?'

This easy--ask Andy to share some of the medicinal sand Chief send. If Andy not want share, you contact Chief and get your own supply.
big chief Offline
#128 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:07 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
What ZVOX? New guitar amp? Chief already have too much stuff.
ddandb Offline
#129 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:08 AM EST
Joined: 02-13-2005
Posts: 6,513
Is this special sand with heap big medicine?
andytv Offline
#130 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:12 AM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
There once was an injun Chief.
Concerned with my stroking my beef.
He sent me some sand, to put in my hand
But instead of a cure it caused grief.
andytv Offline
#131 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:14 AM EST
Joined: 10-23-2002
Posts: 40,991
ZVOX.....a simple and compact speaker box that hooks up to your variable volume output.

"projects" sound and is real easy.


http://www.zvoxaudio.com/?bh_se%3Dadwords%26bh_camp%3DZVOX+Master+Campaign%26bh_adg%3DZVOX%26bh_i%3D58%26bh_head%3DZVOX%20Anniversary%20Sale&gclid=CLqfw5nO-ZQCFQKNxwodP2garQ
MACS Offline
#132 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:16 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,888
Andy heap good at writing limericks.

Stop working for living and write books. Make more money and have more time for drink beer.

What say chief?
ScottHar Offline
#133 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:17 AM EST
Joined: 01-05-2007
Posts: 9,844
Funny. I would have expected this thread to get stretched back up around the DP talk.

ScottHar
MACS Offline
#134 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:19 AM EST
Joined: 02-26-2004
Posts: 79,888
^We're men. We lose focus quic-- look! a penny!
big chief Offline
#135 Posted: Wed, Aug 6 2008, 7:25 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
#132, MACS, wants know if Andy should become limerick writer. Make more money.

Chief suggest Andy keep job. Mebbe work on limericks and jingles part time, until rich and famous.
Hint: these writers 'target' companies to increase chances.
skiridemaine Offline
#136 Posted: Mon, Aug 11 2008, 10:58 AM EST
Joined: 01-07-2007
Posts: 670
chief -

do you have dance to make rain stop?

it has rained for 38 days straight here.

make rain go away and come back in
january (as snow!!!).

thanks in advace.



-SkiRideMaine

big chief Offline
#137 Posted: Mon, Aug 11 2008, 11:09 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
SkiRideMaine asks if Chief have dance to make rain stop and mebbe come back as snow in Wintertime:

SRM, you are in luck! Chief just finish 7th beer of day and he feels like shakin' his bacon, by cracky!
Chief tribe has identical Dance like you need, but ours make rain come back as firewater--(Indians prefer this to gaddam snow). But Chief will make some adjustments to Dance and go perform ceremony. Will post again when finished!
engletl Offline
#138 Posted: Mon, Aug 11 2008, 11:10 AM EST
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
Big Chief,

The squaw and I cleaned out her brother's truck yesterday(man he is as filthy as a pig...but that is a different question)

Upon cleaning his truck we "found" $120 in loose change. Took the time to launder all the shi-ite he has spilled in his truck and on said coin. Counted and even rolled the coins for easy deposit.

My question is...since we cleaned that nasty truck of his, how much is his niece (my daughter Raegan) entitled to of said coin for her savings account?
skiridemaine Offline
#139 Posted: Mon, Aug 11 2008, 11:12 AM EST
Joined: 01-07-2007
Posts: 670
thanks, chief!
big chief Offline
#140 Posted: Mon, Aug 11 2008, 12:26 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
SkiRide-
Chief do dance, smoke cigar, now back.
Usually Chief sing:
'Rain, rain,
go away from here,
come back as some heap good beer!
Stouts and lagers,
Ales and wine,
Chief gonna have a heap good time!'

This work in California, and bring the beer. But you in Maine, and want snow instead.
So, Chief sing:
'Rain, rain,
Curse of Maine,
Block the Sun, heap no fun,
Come back hard on January 1!
Heap thick powder,
On the hill,
Give SkiRide heap big thrill!

Never try this before, this out-of-state 'snow dance in future' stuff...
Hope it is successful, Ski!
big chief Offline
#141 Posted: Mon, Aug 11 2008, 12:30 PM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
engletl, #138,

Did daughter help you and squaw clean up?

If so, Chief recommend you buy $20 wine for you and squaw for your efforts, and let maiden keep $100 for her savings.
It only fair!
skiridemaine Offline
#142 Posted: Tue, Aug 12 2008, 2:12 AM EST
Joined: 01-07-2007
Posts: 670
chief -

ummmm, methinks chant not work.

radar shows heap big raincloud.

is skiridemaine doesn't get sun from now until october there may be no funds for enjoying snow this winter!



thanks anyway.
engletl Offline
#143 Posted: Tue, Aug 12 2008, 2:35 AM EST
Joined: 12-26-2000
Posts: 26,493
LOL...

Baby squaw didn't help she is only 18 months old.

Boss squaw prefers Crown Royal
big chief Offline
#144 Posted: Tue, Aug 12 2008, 5:45 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
SkiRide, #142,

Then Chief gonna repeat, as necessary...you tell him when whether change...
big chief Offline
#145 Posted: Tue, Aug 12 2008, 5:49 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
#143, Engletl,

$20 buy Crown Royal, too!

And 18 months is not too early to begin learning the importance of saving wampum!
skiridemaine Offline
#146 Posted: Wed, Aug 13 2008, 2:16 AM EST
Joined: 01-07-2007
Posts: 670
chief -

Rain stopped. We are all heap happy.

Now, don't forget about January!


ps- how can i get a 16 mo. old to stop pointing at older ladies' "areas" in the grocery store and saying "nine-ah"

(see link)

http://www.cigarbid.com/...ageDisplay=0000000210019
Baron Porthos Offline
#147 Posted: Wed, Aug 13 2008, 3:02 AM EST
Joined: 09-06-2005
Posts: 3,251
heap thanks chief. Private message work. Wife like snorkel now bends over hot tub no problem.
big chief Offline
#148 Posted: Wed, Aug 13 2008, 9:20 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
#146, SkiRide,

Glad rain stopped!
Mebbe re-explain to child that it's really called something else? Tough question...
big chief Offline
#149 Posted: Wed, Aug 13 2008, 9:21 AM EST
Joined: 02-05-2008
Posts: 10,378
#147, Baron,

Chief glad to help!

????!
skiridemaine Offline
#150 Posted: Thu, Aug 14 2008, 1:01 AM EST
Joined: 01-07-2007
Posts: 670
re: 148 -

will try, chief.

he can't yet form words to say "bear struck by axe"

but i'll think of something else...


ps - heap thanks on rain thing!

wed. = sunny!
thurs. = showers

mebbe you drink more and dance every night?

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