Many of you know of my battle with cocaine. 20 years of successfully combating the urges, and trying to spread the word, of the dangers of Drugs, especially to the youngsters, who live around and work with me.
I am mouring the loss, of a young man, who I had spent alot of time with, over the last 2 years. I had bared my soul, and told him about my drug experiences, both the fun times, and the nightmares. I saw him yesterday, with the tombstones, in his eyes. The vacant stare, of a meth addict. This was a kid, who started working for me, 2 years ago. For a year and a half, he was never late, always willing to fill in for his coworkers, and did his job with pride. I used to call him "Antwan Overkill". He was the best person on my staff. He was pulling a 3.75 GPA, and working 40 hours a week, to boot. Now his grades are slipping, his family and friends don't know who he is any more. I have the trust, of the young people around me, so I get alot of info, that parents do not get. They know, that I will keep their secrets, as long as their Health, and saftey is not compromised. I now have the duty, of telling his grandmother, about his drug problem. She has raised the boy, his parents are both in prison, on drug charges, and he tells everyone they are dead. This info, is going to break her heart. I have not slept, since I saw the boy yesterday, and have been up all night praying, trying to find the strength, to deal with this. It is hard for me to stand back, and watch this kids life unravel, as mine did, and be powerless to stop it. He knows that he can come to me, when he is ready to address his problem, but waiting for him to hit bottom, is going to be tough. I have thought of this kid, as the son, I never had. I now know the pain, that my parents felt, when I was going through my own learning process. I feel what they must have felt, and understand first hand the pain they must have felt, when they backed off, so I could hit bottom.
I am about to go to visit his girlfriends mother, and father, and inform them. She is a dishwasher, at the resturant, and I don't want to see her dragged down with him. She is worried about him, and wants me to talk to her parents, she is scared to do so. She assures me that he is trying to hide his drug use from her as well, but she can see the signs as well. I am sorry if I am rambling, but lack of sleep, has got me a little "Punchy".
I was really hoping that my experiences, and knowledge, would spare this young man from having to learn his lessons the hard way, but unfortunately, it did not.
I just hope he lives, long enough to learn the lesson, and before the drugs, destroy his promising future. I am watching a replay, of my addiction, and it sorrows me deeply. I have never felt this kind of pain.
Thanks for allowing me to get this off of my chest.
Later
Dave (A.K.A. Homebrew)